Silence in T

I've posted a similar thread before, or may

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Oops! Don't know what happened there BUT, I was saying that I've posted a similar thread before, but has anyone ever sat in silence during T? And how has the T reacted?

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Very often. My T is a great believer in the power of silence to provide mental space for issues to arise. I sometimes find it restful and healing, sometimes I find it embarrassing and painful. But there is definitely something very powerful in being allowed to be silent for a long time together with another person. It's so easy to hide behind words. In the silence we can be vulnerable.

I had one session that was almost completely silent. It was in the beginning of T, so she didn't really how to approach the silence. She wanted to get to the root of things but she didn't want to push me, she wanted me to give her some clue as to where to go with that session. She told me, in so many words, that she really didn't know what to do. She has told me though, that she'd never be upset about it or "give up on me" even if I came to all of my sessions and didn't ever say anything.

Yes. T knows I hate it, I'm sure this makes T do it more. I put up with it till I snap at T with bitter comments.

I'm sure my silences go for about 5 minutes at times. One time we just sat in silence until the session ended. Not a great way to end a session.

T reacts by asking me what I am thinking or 'what is going on for me right now', or by just sitting in silence with me.

T also sits passively at times and waits for me to begin sessions, so if i don't there is silence.

Silence is tough, but my T is great with it. T will give me a while in silence, and if I don't speak up after what feels like a long time, T will prompt me with quiet questions to try to bring whatever it is that is silencing me out to the room so we can discuss it.

I spent the good part of over 3 years not saying a word in T. I have a problem talking to people in general so that did not help. my T for the most part was great about it. we did/do other things when I am in a place that I cant talk to her .these days she can be a bit pushy about the talking .saying things like please don't make me have to pull stuff out of you today ,or reminding me of how I will feel by not talking to her. it has been a long drawn out balancing act to get me willing to speak in T. she must know something because I am finding it a lot easier to talk. i don't always like her methods like no writing her letters or e-mail .she says it is because I need to learn that I have a voice and that it is ok to speak about things and the world wont end. things like that. but in sessions that I just completely shut down and refuse to work with her she just sits there with me in silence .she will let that go on for a few sessions or so before she turns into mean, pushy T

I am reminded of my first real T. I was very uncomfortable going to therapy and would often make a comment as I was leaving. Of course, she couldn't pursue it then. I guess it was my way of revealing things I felt she needed to know but didn't want to discuss.

One day, we were talking and she asked if I would do an exercise for her. She had me close my eyes, then said she wanted me to picture myself getting up and walking to the door. I reach for the door handle and begin to turn the knob. She then asked if I had that picture in my head and I said yes. Then she asked "Okay, what were you going to say?" Lol. She started calling them my 'doorknob comments'. Still get amused by it.

They are taught to deal with silence, which makes many people uncomfortable, but how they deal with it varies. There was a session where I went in very angry and was looking down and silent for the first part. We were having a fight and I wanted him to speak because I had already expressed myself during a phone call. He sat there for a while, giving me space, but then finally realized that he needed to talk so asked, "do you want me to talk?" and I nodded and didn't look up at all, while he quietly and calmly spoke about what was happening. We achieved resolution, but it was a difficult session.