[sweepy62]

When your t is getting to close to you ( not physically ) I mean when she or he is getting to know you so much better, and is able to read you , and can tell how your feeling by your body language , do you feel the need to push away ? I know that's the goal , to establish such a relationship where she knows you well enough to help you.

In my case I feel she is reading me too well, I'm suppose to be happy right? No I feel like shutting down and pushing away, I don't know why, just want to know if any one has felt this way?

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[stopdog]

I keep the one I see back. She tries to take liberties sometimes, but I can push her back.
But perhaps a difference is I do not feel like the woman gets or understands or can read me. She thinks she does but she is very, very wrong. I don't think her ability to read me is key to getting information from her which is fortunate.

[elaygee]

My T is trying to break down some walls and wants me to trust her more. When I feel my walls give in some I shut down and try to keep her at a distance. When someone is just too close to the core I pull all my defenses

I actually experience the opposite I guess. I find it very calming to have that person who really "gets" me. I can relax and just say what I need to say without feeling like it is a huge effort to get him to understand.

[growlycat]

Sometimes, I feel like CBT T is so happy go lucky that he is oblivious.

But then he will say something that shocks me into believing that he IS paying attention.
In fact , he seems to notice everything which makes me feel vulnerable and almost naked.

I'm even careful of what color shirts I wear to therapy, in fear that he "knows too much" about my moods.

On the other hand, I love the attention.

[sweepy62]

Kinda scary in a way

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[FeelingOpaque]

It's a natural response to vulnerability.

[ready2makenice]

I have felt this way also. Once had a dream that T was in a class with me at the gym,there were lots of people in the class and for some reason T was right behind me. Everyone was clothed except me and I kept trying to cover myself,from her. I didn't want her to see me. So yes even in my dreams,I tend to run away from her.

I tend to push people away when I feel they know too much about me because I fear,that they wont like "the real me" my own insecurities I suppose

[sweepy62]

Thank you for sharing that dream it's very meaningful .

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[Petra5ed]

Yeah I feel like that a lot. After sessions lately I've been thinking I should take a couple weeks off before scheduling again. I think it's just because I'm afraid I've revealed too much, or they can read my mind or something.

[Freewilled]

You know how some people's struggles seem to manifest in wanting "too much" from their Ts (meaning things like contacting too much in between sessions or crossing boundaries in some way)? I am the opposite with my T. So I think I am so frustrating to him because I am always pushing him away. It's ironic because I show up every.damn.week but I often keep my walls up in a way. It's weird because I don't know how to explain it or even really understand it myself.

One time I had a bad reaction to this visualization my T had me do and I felt awful because of it. I worried I scared my T. I told him that I was sorry the next week. He asked me what would need to happen for me to feel okay with him being worried or concerned for me and I immediately said it would need to be a situation of life or death. But secretly, I don't even know if I would want to burden him then either. I mean, I have major struggles with Sui but I don't tell him ever. Partly to protect me, but I also really don't want to burden him.

It's so frustrating because why else do I even bother going to see him in the first place!?! Argh....but these feelings are really strong so....they must come from somewhere

[A Red Panda]

I'm a mix. My T, despite having a horrid memory with some things (even though he writes it all down! In this regard we are very similar...) has a really good memory with other things. He makes a lot of connections between what I say and things I've said or implied in the past and he brings them up and it startles me sometimes. Well usually always. It shocks me and I always want to not come back. But it's also helping me start to accept having him around and makes it a bit easier to talk - he actually does remember things.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

You know how some people's struggles seem to manifest in wanting "too much" from their Ts (meaning things like contacting too much in between sessions or crossing boundaries in some way)? I am the opposite with my T. So I think I am so frustrating to him because I am always pushing him away. It's ironic because I show up every.damn.week but I often keep my walls up in a way. It's weird because I don't know how to explain it or even really understand it myself.

One time I had a bad reaction to this visualization my T had me do and I felt awful because of it. I worried I scared my T. I told him that I was sorry the next week. He asked me what would need to happen for me to feel okay with him being worried or concerned for me and I immediately said it would need to be a situation of life or death. But secretly, I don't even know if I would want to burden him then either. I mean, I have major struggles with Sui but I don't tell him ever. Partly to protect me, but I also really don't want to burden him.

It's so frustrating because why else do I even bother going to see him in the first place!?! Argh....but these feelings are really strong so....they must come from somewhere

Thats exactly how I feel sometimes, like im a burden, and she says im not she would love for me to ask her for what I need, but I have never been the asking type, so when i feel myself getting to comfortable it scares me , something to work on.