[archipelago]

My therapist said something that rung true in more ways than one. He said, "Remember, perfection is not of this world." And added "Just getting through is the victory."

I was reminded of Leonard Cohen lyrics that go

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets through.

I think I try to give my perfect offering, even when struggling and lose sight of the fact that that isn't humanly possible. Not of this world, as my shrink put it. Letting go and realizing that there is just getting through, as the light gets through the cracks, and that is a victory.

Perhaps some of you are struggling and wanting to make it "perfect" when that just adds to the struggle and acceptance of what is human is a different way to go about it all.

[neutrino]

My therapist often tells me that perfection is impossible. To be a perfect student is impossible. To do things perfectly is impossible. To understand things completely and perfectly is impossible. As a "pathological perfectionist" (which is part of my OCD) I find it incredibly difficult to accept and realise that perfection is, as your therapist puts it, "not of this world". Don't you find it hard to accept such a thing?

[archipelago]

I hadn't realized how much I try to be perfect or do things perfectly regardless of how impossible it may be until recently. I was in a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course and that Cohen lyric was read during an all day silent retreat. It struck me that I was a human being. That I wasn't either super human or sub human, but just human. And that that was wonderful, cracks and all. Right now I am having to perform even during a time when I have a seasonal depression and don't feel up for anything. I'm still finding myself wanting to do it perfectly when I know that is not possible and not even necessary. I have to continually remind myself and accept where I am and what is so that I can believe that "just getting through is the victory."

[sweepy62]

I have a problem with trying not to be perfect, as I grew up as perfection was expected of me all the time or something close to it, so now I crave for it, so no matter what I do its never good enough, I always find flaws when everyone else say its great.

My T once said if we only had perfect mothers, we'd never learn it's ok to be just 'good enough'.
Of course - abusive/neglectful mothers are another thing altogether
I struggled with some of T's only 'good enough' characteristics in the beginning. Unable to tolerate anything less than 'perfection'.
I'm glad I'm through that stage now.

[stopdog]

I like having a concept of perfect as an ideal.

[archipelago]

I have lot of ideals as well, especially from being a Buddhist, but the ones I have from my early life about being perfect as in a "tough soldier" from a military background have lead me to push too hard when it wasn't helpful to do so. Learning acceptance of imperfection is like learning how to be a human being all over again.

[Daeva]

I like those lyrics and what your T said, I need to remember them for myself as well. Who needs perfect anyway? If we were all perfect we'd all be the same and that would be pretty boring huh?