[jesusplay]

I think about killing myself everyday, I feel hopeless, I've attempted once in the past year. What stops me from going through it now? I'm afraid of hell.

I want to kill myself, but the fear is stronger.

But I know I won't or even hurt myself unless I'm drunk like I was last time.

Why would I be "high risk if I said I won't do it?

are my suicidal thoughts normal?

Am I really sick?

I see my new therapist again tomorrow.

[A Red Panda]

I think you would be high risk because even if you say right now you won't be, it wouldn't take too much one day to send you to "Ok now's the time". As you said - you just need to be drunk. You could go and get drunk at any point in time, and that might give you the courage. Your other reason for not killing yourself is fear - sometimes when we're feeling our worst the desire to end the pain might outweigh the fear.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way I am glad that your therapist is looking out for you though!

[jesusplay]

I've seen 7 mental health providers and they all recommend I go inpatient.

I seriously don't see the point as I haven't responded to many medications and I'm 100% sure I will leave the way I went in.

I hate feeling like this, how I feel

[A Red Panda]

Maybe you should give it a try then? If nothing else has been helping... then maybe going inpatient would. You will never know until you try. You can't be 100% sure of anything that isn't something like 2+2=4, the fact that we are in rotation around the Sun, that we breathe air, etc.

[SheHulk07]

I know that I'm on a high risk for suicide, too, lately, even though I've told them that I'm too chicken to actually do it. But the thoughts are still there, and my self harming is getting worse every time I do it, so that's what they're worried about.