[rando223]

Everything was going fine and well, and one weekend, I was really depressed and had suicide ideation. Not plans, not an attempt, just a dislike for life.

I told him about it the next time and it seemed fine. I filled out some paperwork which was weird, but it went okay just talking about it.

The next session, he went extreme and hardly listened to a word I said. He got the story I told last time completely wrong and twisted, as if I had an actual plan. He kept pressuring me into saying if I had plans, I said no, he said are you sure, I said I'm sure, he said how can I believe you, etc. He just didn't believe me. He said I need to do 3 steps to get admitted into a group counseling center, otherwise the only alternative is send me to a hospital. I said I wasn't going to do anything to hurt myself. He asked how I was going to do it. I said I wasn't going to do anything. I said if I could have some time to think about going to the group center, I already have problems doing things as it is. He said no because his supervisor needs info that he intervened.

Now it feels like this reaction is just based on him saving his career and not believing a word I say. I'm feeling better now. I felt better the monday after last weekend, but apparently I'm still a huge risk in his eyes. Then, I set everything up like he asked and it was only going to be possible the latest Feb but the doc might still call me. He said to call again and demand it now because I need it.

He doesn't ****ing believe me and it's all under a deadline to his supervisor. I'm extremely furious about everything that happened. I thought we were going to use that depressed weekend as a topic to talk about more and further develop and discuss, but instead it was a completely non-personal session. I feel like terminating, because if anything deep I have to say has this much of a reaction, and I'm not being listened to, I don't feel I can trust him.

[rando223]

How should I handle it? On one hand, I feel like bringing it up, but on the other, he might think I'm tricking him again and react even harder OR what I say might upset the system or whatever.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm not sure what i would do. That's certainly uncomfortable and a huge rupture to trust. Is your t a student? There might be different rules for him to follow as a student...
can you talk to him about all of this? Would it even be worth it? If he's so wrapped up in you being a safety risk, it might not get you where you hope to get... I'm sorry you are going through this.

[penguinh]

Wow, that does seem tough. Maybe keep trying to re-enforce to him that you're feeling better now and never had plans in the first place? I guess he's just worried about you (it's better to have a therapist that cares than not) but I don't think he's suppose to act that way. I remember when I had suicidal thoughts, they did a risk assessment on me to make sure that I was safe to go home and whether or not I had to stay at the hospital overnight but the session after, it was back to normal. It does seem like he's freaking out a bit much. I guess nobody really wants to see their patient commit suicide, especially when they could have prevented it. Just hang in there, he's bound to understand after a while?

[reesecups]

You know, that's total BS. Ubkess they 5150 you, they can't hospitalize you. And they can't keep you more than 72 hours without proof. I would definitely drop your T. If mine did that, there would no longer be trust.