[mybabyboy]

just like to ask e veryone their opinion I have been going to dr for 11 yrs at one time 2 to 3 times a wk ive been going for 10 yrs 2 times a wk, my dr showered me with attention ph calls txs just overconcern and then too many people were making remarks like oh u are the only one who comes 2 x a wk oh he never calls patients like you or he doesn't make other patients stay to themelves in office while others can talk to peple he has rules he doesn't want me talking to staff or patients and if I cancel I must call his cell ph not office everyone else calls office been told his wife hates me which hurts bc I don't dislike her or ask for his control well after complaining a lot its let up some, please tell me what u think bc he wont stop the twice a wk and im getting contradictory medicare bills, do u think he just thinks of me as a cash cow im not gonna lie, I felt his support tx calls helped bc I have no family support then he cut it way down bc of peoples remarks do u think I should demand o come 1x a wk or quit bc I feel its about money anymore even though its covered he has never made me pay a co pay some people thinks he is genuinely concerned but some people tell me he is stringing me along for 2x a week money like new yrs eve I am only person coming in I protested said omg u just stay home im fine he said no I want u in here I don't know what to think I lost 2 children I do cry a lot but been on my own several times when he has been on a one wk vacation sometimes when I bring up once a wk he says maybe u should go to hospital he knows im petrified of that please friends honestly tell me your honest opinion he also always says im attractive but hasn't been in appropriate except hugs please help me decide does he care and want to help me or just wants that constant 2x a wk income thanking u all in advance [FONT="Arial"][/FONT]

I'm having a hard time interpreting this because there is no punctuation. I think you are asking if the doc is using you. Are you getting what you need from him?

[caseygirl]

I'm having trouble too, is this your family doc or tdoc or pdoc?? Please make clear?

[shezbut]

I find it peculiar that you're wanting to see your T less often, but he is against this concept. Are you saying that you have been seeing this T for 2-3 times per week for over 10 years? Have you been on medicare the entire time??

You and I probably have different diagnoses, but I am on medicare as well, and I cannot see my T more than twice per month, as they gave my T a heck of a time for seeing me once/week for a year when times were harder for me. I have a very tough time seeing medicare approving you seeing your T 2-3 times per week for so long!

Anyway.... unless we're missing a few key parts of the story, I don't see how your T could reasonably justify your need of therapy more than once/week. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm also unsure about the need for your T to be referring to you as attractive so often. I have a crappy self-esteem myself, which my T knows, but he does occasionally provide me with some reassurance that I am not ugly or horrible. {However, he doesn't go into his personal opinion.} Perhaps my T's walls are simply very sturdy ~ but it sounds as though your T has weak walls to me. Perhaps a post in the sub-forum would be an appropriate place to post whether or not your T acts appropriately with you.

Just my opinion, of course.

[unaluna]

Hi mybabyboy i remember you from the last time you posted on here. Im sorry if something happened to upset your equilibrium again. I know youre living under very hard circumstances. I think your dr is a lot like mine - he has figured out how many times a week to see me that works to keep me most functional. He tells me im beautiful because no one else does so god bless him. If you are having medicare problems, then bring him the letters and let him figure it out. I depend on my t a lot - i am just grateful, i think we are lucky they are cheerfully there to help us. He understands how hurt you are.

[anilam]

How do you know her wife despise you? Who tells you about the others clients/texting? I.e. Who tells you you have a "special" RS?
I don't know the rules for Medicare but I highly doubt he's making money out of it... I go twice a week, paying out of pocket for 7yr now and don't think my Ts in it for the money. He could very simply find another client to fill my spot. I truly think i need and benefit from this arrangement.
Re him treating you inappropriately- do the hugs feel so? Can you say no to them? My T never said to me I'm attractive. Would not sit well with me.
All and all I'd say go with your guts. If it feels like he's doing this because of him not because it's helping you (even threatening you with hospital) I'd say find a new T going once a week won't help much.

[Lauliza]

Your T sounds very controlling to me. I also think he behaves inappropriately with the hugs, mentioning you are beautiful, etc. However I am also having a hard time completely understanding the post so I'm wondering if there is anything missing from the story? Either way I don't understand how a t can make you go three times a week if you dont want to. The threats of hospitalization don't sit well with me at all.

[mybabyboy]

hi
, she said isn't it obious I am sorry about not being clear. I wrote this quickly last night. I was saying he has been seeing me 2x a wk for 10 yrs. He used to see me 3 times a wk but that was exhausting. I just don't think he is fair, he says I cant talk to paitients or staff, but others do. I have to xall his cell to cancel , his rule but everyone else calls office I had a few staff members tease and sa oh he keeps an eye on u. I was told by a girl I knew for 7 yrs <she worked there> Oh u know his wife hates u, I was shocked I said why, she said its obvious he txs u he calls ou, I said he probably does that with veryone. She sais no only u, nobody has his cell no. Then there were two girls who quit and told me we have to call back to him when u come in. Then this girl said she was told to let him know if I was talking to anyone or using my cell, I started feeling singled out regardless if he cared or not, I felt stupid ignoring people talking to me in office, I was araid though bc he gets mad. I have ask him to cut it to once a week he said no so u an isolate. I am also the only person going in on new yrs eve, when I told him its ok. I said its not necessary if I get upset bc I wanna leave or cut my time he will say do u think u need to be in the hospital. I get angry but shut up. I will admit when he txed and called a lot I thought he was concerned my male friend sad no dr txs like him. People started making remarks that got back to him, so that has slowed down.I am just wondering what does everyone think he wants me, to come in 2x a week bc he has concern or am I a money thing. I have medicare for last yr I used to have aentna. he never made me pay a co pay his wife does give me evil looks. she even told him to let me go. I said fine he said the name on the door is mine its my practice I say if u stay, so I felt uncomfortable, he is nice sometimes stern, like eg. this girl told me to fill out forms he came out I told him I have to fill out forms and take them to her. He said lets go now the hell with forms like he was angry I didn't listen to him, he says he don't like me talking to patients bc I went to look at a guys car out front and receptionist called back to him <the dr> and he ran through office down steps out front and said u have an appt. lets go so I went but I feel like he is hiding something or its money, I don't know what to think anymore please help with your imput am I blind or blowing this out of proportion, or do other drs act this way. thank you in advance, hope I made this clearer so sorry.

[mybabyboy]

I
just wrote a new reply. I meant to write a new topic but clearer. I hope it didn't get erased , I have to go to his office in a hor, just there tues, im just tired. thanks babyboy

[mybabyboy]

I
just wrote two letters in reply box thought they would go to everyone, I xplained everything, and made it clear,i mess everything up sorry babyboy

[mybabyboy]

Originally Posted by amee200

Your T sounds very controlling to me. I also think he behaves inappropriately with the hugs, mentioning you are beautiful, etc. However I am also having a hard time completely understanding the post so I'm wondering if there is anything missing from the story? Either way I don't understand how a t can make you go three times a week if you dont want to. The threats of hospitalization don't sit well with me at all.

I just wrote four letters, posting wrong I guess. I was saying he wont let me talk to patients or staff. staff members who quit told me he was only txing me, bc his cell isn't given out, he makes me come 2x a week I begged to make it once, im tired. he says no, he gets my medicare for past year, I had aentna, he gets angry if he says jump and I don't jump, but can also be caring he does hold hospital over my head, I hope the other posts go through, not good at this just wondering ehat others think. thank you baby boy

[tealBumblebee]

It all sounds very controlling and problematic to me and i'm one for good T/client bonds. Have you considered visiting another T for a month or so, to see the difference? If you dislike it, you can always go back to this guy. Also, your decisions to stop coming as often, or not come on one day in particular (Ny eve) should be completely in your control not his. And if you are the only one being seen then, i'd simply let him know "i'm cancelling. See you on X day." No questions asked. I don't like anyone demanding anything of me, and so it could be that causing a bias but I just am not sure I like the way this guy does things. Also, like Amee, the threat of hospitalization is completely unacceptable as there is no legitimate reasoning for suggesting such a thing. To threaten you with something you genuinely fear when you make a suggestion opposite of his, is completely unethical.

[mybabyboy]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

It all sounds very controlling and problematic to me and i'm one for good T/client bonds. Have you considered visiting another T for a month or so, to see the difference? If you dislike it, you can always go back to this guy. Also, your decisions to stop coming as often, or not come on one day in particular (Ny eve) should be completely in your control not his. And if you are the only one being seen then, i'd simply let him know "i'm cancelling. See you on X day." No questions asked. I don't like anyone demanding anything of me, and so it could be that causing a bias but I just am not sure I like the way this guy does things. Also, like Amee, the threat of hospitalization is completely unacceptable as there is no legitimate reasoning for suggesting such a thing. To threaten you with something you genuinely fear when you make a suggestion opposite of his, is completely unethical.

Hi
I lost two of my kids to suicide so sometimes I get depressed, but like I told him with my son I stayed awake 3 days to watch him when he was bad, You cant be with somebody 24/7 u know? I have been upset about a lot of things, doesn't want me talking to anyone, he makes me feel like the plague lol. I think its bc so many staff made comments on how he treats me, I don't mind being nice but I don't know if my one post went through <be patient> im not good at this> but this guy a patient got a brand new car I love cars it was parked out front, he was waiting two months to get it, he said u wanna see it, I said yeah, well the girl at the desk called back to the dr I went out front, he ran through office and down steps and said to me u have an apt now. I said I love cars its right out front just wanted to look, he said come with e now so I like rolled my eyes bc he treats me like a high school kid I was embarrassed and angry he yelled at me u don't have any idea about him turns out he was a vetran and he didn't want me talking to him then it was nobody. the staff come up hug me say I look nice I feel so rude and offstandish bc I pull away afraid he will catch me, and one time he took my ph I get upset easily so I teared up and I sware he seemed like now ill tell her hw I want everything, if I cancel I have to call hs cell like I wannna cance now I hurt my back, forget that and don't u think coming in for one person is ridulous I thought he could have the day off and I could he is having nobody else come in, just so much I could tell u and I will, so u can get a clear picture he went from txing me like 6 times a day calling all the time I thought it was weird but I also have no family support, I try hard to be nice to wife she gives me cold shoulder and I do feel uncomfortable he will say im sexy attractive I sware im not being mean just makin a point, his wife is very non attractive I don't want her husband as a matter of fact since I found my son hung I feel lie a numbness and I am reclusive since my daughter died, I miss them so much, the point im trying to make so day he will retire I need to take care of myself alittle at a time and I am petrified of hospital bc I hear about him in there this one nurse rudely said why does he spend an hour in your room wth the door closed, I was so angry I said he sits and talks put a camera in there, than she sais he has u call him by his first name and other dr spend maybe 5 min. with patients I do nothing but cry when im in there bc im afraid to fight back bc im afraid ill get written up thank you so much for taking your time to listen to me u can send me a bill. I hope I made sense I do have ptsd and adhd and my mind flys I also have major depressive disorder another one more thing I take like 16 drugs a day ty so much baby boy<stands for my son he was my best friend> my baby boy thanks again all of u

[anilam]

I'd find a new T- this one sounds controlling, even abusive...

I understand the details are important to you but I agree with everyone else. I would add that the only thing that ultimately matters is the office and the dr make you uncomfortable. How are you to heal in that type of environment? You have the right to leave. If it helps you could meet with a therapist to assess and have them call to discuss with the dr and potentially end it.

[Puglife]

If its a money thing he would be much better off filling your spot with a cash paying client that he didn't need to constantly justify to get paid. So I doubt it's for money. But the rest of it is weird and inappropriate all the way around.

[Victoria'smom]

He is basically is doing an intensive outpatient program with you. He feels if you do not come more than once a week you'll loose your stability fast and isolate yourself, possibly leading to hospitalization. So yes no one else has his number and yes he doesn't want you talk to the staff because they don't know your treatment plan. If you honestly want to drop him to once a week look for an partial hospitalization and see how that goes. Also you may want to stop calling and texting until after you've talked to the crisis line.

[Lauliza]

Yes the doctor sounds like he either is over the top controlling and weird, or feels like you are unstable and does as much as he can without being in a hospital setring. His staff and wife being rude is really strange though and it has a very strange vibe all the way around.

Sent from my BNTV400 using Tapatalk

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Michanne

I understand the details are important to you but I agree with everyone else. I would add that the only thing that ultimately matters is the office and the dr make you uncomfortable. How are you to heal in that type of environment? You have the right to leave. If it helps you could meet with a therapist to assess and have them call to discuss with the dr and potentially end it.

You agree with everyone else - except me. You all are making a judgment based on one post, at xmas - a vulnerable time of year for many of us, offering suggestions that would be stressful at the best of times. This dr gives this person a lot of support. She has survived stuff that would break many of us. I dont see acknowledgement and support for that here. I apologize for scolding. I tried to lead by example, but it seems like people just keep piling it on instead of supporting. I really dont think this is an atta-girl! situation. Pleasr be kind. And yes its fine with me if you report my post. Im not quite sure what to do here.

[Arha]

I can think of many many reasons that this T may have asked you to contact him directly, some of which are suggested at by the comments others have made to you, and some of which are inappropriate. I don't know which, but for other staff to make comments to you on how he treats you is wrong.
They are completely inappropriate comments and unhelpful. What do they know of the Therapist - Client situation? Nothing.

For them to tell you his wife is jealous is very wrong.
His relationship with his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with them or with you. It is not something you need to take on yourself.
If anyone says anything of the sort again you should respond with, "Don't you think that it is inappropriate for you to talk about his wife? Especially to a patient?"

If you think he is controlling, then bring that up with him. Tell him that you feel you should be able to talk to people as you choose. Discuss his reasons for wanting you not to.

If you think some of his comments are inappropriate, then say that to him if you feel you can.

[anilam]

Originally Posted by hankster

You agree with everyone else - except me. You all are making a judgment based on one post, at xmas - a vulnerable time of year for many of us, offering suggestions that would be stressful at the best of times. This dr gives this person a lot of support. She has survived stuff that would break many of us. I dont see acknowledgement and support for that here. I apologize for scolding. I tried to lead by example, but it seems like people just keep piling it on instead of supporting. I really dont think this is an atta-girl! situation. Pleasr be kind. And yes its fine with me if you report my post. Im not quite sure what to do here.

Yes, we react based on the few posts OP have shared here. How else could we react? Frankly, I don't see anyone being anything but supportive?
Also you implied you knew this OP situation from sharing here before- I wonder from where- this being her first thread/post...

I gathered this OP went through a lot- but she's not asking for support for this here, she's asking for our opinion re her T/PDoc (I'm not sure). I myself would be bumped if s.o. would consistently support and acknowledge stg from my past (no matter how hurtful- but yes, this breaks my heart).

All and all I stand by my opinion (subjective and all)- from the details shared here (subjective and all) if it were me, I'd find a new T cause this behaviour (highly controlling with a touch of inappropriacy) would not be helpful for me.

[mybabyboy]

Originally Posted by Hawkspur

I can think of many many reasons that this T may have asked you to contact him directly, some of which are suggested at by the comments others have made to you, and some of which are inappropriate. I don't know which, but for other staff to make comments to you on how he treats you is wrong.
They are completely inappropriate comments and unhelpful. What do they know of the Therapist - Client situation? Nothing.

For them to tell you his wife is jealous is very wrong.
His relationship with his wife has nothing whatsoever to do with them or with you. It is not something you need to take on yourself.
If anyone says anything of the sort again you should respond with, "Don't you think that it is inappropriate for you to talk about his wife? Especially to a patient?"

If you think he is controlling, then bring that up with him. Tell him that you feel you should be able to talk to people as you choose. Discuss his reasons for wanting you not to.

If you think some of his comments are inappropriate, then say that to him if you feel you can.

I will take your suggestion is someone says something to me about his wife again, Today is was so off sometimes I think hes nuts, he tells me he wants me to go in this program its in a bad neighborhood, its dbt for suicide bc my son and daughter took their lives and I told him im not going in some 6 month program ,turns out it isn't six months, its 2 days aa week he said u do assignments I said im not going there then coming here 2x a wk he said yes u are. So I got upset and I told him im more worried about not being able to eat. He says I have eating disorder nos, I found my son hung and ever since I get sick when I eat I throw up, I sware I don't do it on purpose it feels like im choking when I eat and throw up so I stopped eating hardly anything bc my stomach hurts rally bad when I eat. I am not thin, But He told me he had a dream me and him were swimming and we had surfboards he said he was sitting on his but I rode a wave and the surfboard came back but I never did, I felt bad he had tears in his eyes but said u aren't depending on me im gonna get u to see me twice a wk go to that program or see, this dr that does coping skills and homework, he also wants me to go to naranon I don't do drugs never drink I told him I hate them meetings, but he said its bc I am co dependent help to many people and he wants it to stop, so now im up to 3x a wk or 4 I am fine ,my friend tom says e just wants to see me, I txed him and was snappy saing im not coming back im sick of u not letting me talk to people, and being the only one coming on new years eve he is my physciatrist he treats my asmtha doea all my blood work treats my throid my heart and I get mad bc I said, I am supposed to be seeing u for losing my kids he called tonight and said, I want u to come in on tues we will discuss what I wanna do I said, im not coming 3 or 4 times I feel like I live there, he said I told u I tell u what we are doing on tues, so I was a little sarcastic and said hey I don't wanna be a burden depend on u so how about I go to the other dr <in office> life skill one and u can do my meds, he said isaid it will be discussed tues, u are staying with me so every week is something just tired u know and he knows I starve from when was in hosp, bc he got me ensure, yet tells me tonight he wants me to lose more weight, I said how I don't eat now. please don't get me wrong I think he cares but I feel like he took over my life im always running to dr he also has me on a lot of drugs, ty for listening I have adhs ptsd major depressive disorder and eating disordernos and bad flashbacks of my son, trying to give whole picture ty and everyone for trying to help me figure him out mybaby boy

[mybabyboy]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

It all sounds very controlling and problematic to me and i'm one for good T/client bonds. Have you considered visiting another T for a month or so, to see the difference? If you dislike it, you can always go back to this guy. Also, your decisions to stop coming as often, or not come on one day in particular (Ny eve) should be completely in your control not his. And if you are the only one being seen then, i'd simply let him know "i'm cancelling. See you on X day." No questions asked. I don't like anyone demanding anything of me, and so it could be that causing a bias but I just am not sure I like the way this guy does things. Also, like Amee, the threat of hospitalization is completely unacceptable as there is no legitimate reasoning for suggesting such a thing. To threaten you with something you genuinely fear when you make a suggestion opposite of his, is completely unethical.

ty I feel the same way I should be able to say how often I go wait till u read what happened today, I love Eminem he looked like my son when he had the blonde hair I just bought his newcd that's another thing he says im immature lol I love this cd!!!