[MotownJohnny]

I've been debating this question - would it be appropriate to give a small gift as a thank you and remembrance at the holiday?

If so, what? Gift card ok, or tacky?

[Raging Quiet]

I gave a gift card to my t a few years back, she seemed to really enjoy using it

[Mactastic]

I will not be getting a gift but I did decide to mail a New Year's card. It allows be to briefly express my gratitude in a non-threatening (to T) way.

we enjoy giving hand made cards but its really a matter of personal preference and your t policy of what they will or wont accept

T and i give gifts every year. I would imagine it depends on your own relationship woth your t, so it varies. For t and i it it totally appropriate.

[kittlies]

My T gave me a tiny metal acorn, and explained that it is a symbol of hope and potential. It was perfect and sweet. Tuesday is our last meeting, I want to give her something, but I'm not sure what. Maybe a handmade card?

[Nightlight]

A large number of therapists won't accept gifts of any sorts. I probably wouldn't attempt to give a gift to a therapist without asking first. I did actually give mine a gift once and without asking first, but it was after well over four years of seeing her. It was small, handmade, and symbolic, and she almost turned it down.

[archipelago]

A handmade card probably is the safest and nicest thing. Some therapists don't accept gifts. Mine does at least from me as long as it is not too much. Usually I pick out something that is not work related but is more fun, but this year I bought a book that matches his work interests. He is in several reading groups and he and I talk "theory" often so I thought it would be appropriate. I know that some of my gifts he has accepted but never used. It was just out of respect and politeness. So it is often hit and miss.

[anilam]

I'd say gift card is not that great idea- either go for stg really small (i.e. cheap) but meaningful to your RS or handmade gift/card...that would be acceptable for most Ts.
It's always better to ask beforehand, though.

[sweepy62]

my t does not accept any gifts, tight boundaries, she has reminded me of this several times, she will accept a card, but I am not in a card giving mood, its only been a year.

[Jdog123]

My T accepts cards gladly. She will accept small gifts, but always says that it wasn't necessary, etc., though not in a way that makes me feel bad and it's clear that she is appreciative. I tend to get her something around the holidays from my annual trip abroad. I make it something significant to us/our relationship. And she has gotten me a few gifts - again small and personalized. I also got her a small potted plant when she moved into a new office. The first Christmas we worked together I didn't ask ahead of time and got her some dark chocolates from Europe - cost probably $7, just a token something (we'd both talked about our love of dark chocolate). She accepted them and said it wasn't necessary. But in retrospect it might have been a good idea to check it out first.

[Hope-Full]

I usually make T a card and drop it in the mail or hand it over at the end of session. As mentioned, many Ts don't accept gifts, but none that I know of have declined a card with a nice note. There's something ethical about spending $$ on gifts that many Ts can't accept.

[Squirrel1983]

This is the first year I felt that I should give T a holiday gift (I have been seeing her for 3 and a half years). I mentioned at a previous session that I was making all handmade gifts this year and she asked for details, so I told her. She said one of them sounded quite "practical". Most people this year are getting personalized coasters from me. I decided to make T a set, just because I felt like giving her a gift this year (I didn't think to ask first). She accepted it and seemed appreciative. But it wasn't an elaborate gift. It was handmade and "inexpersive". I didn't tell her how much it cost to make, but it was less than $2, so I assumed that is appropriate and not crossing boundries.

I would say a gift card might be a little "extreme" though.

[Lauliza]

A card is a nice gesture and safe...most Ts will be fine accepting one. A gift is a little different. It seems like some posters here have given gifts, but it's not generally done.

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[Daeva]

Better ask your T first, alot of them won't accept gifts. However if they do keep it small, they especially can't accept anything too extravagant.

I gave my T 2 gifts. One was a poem I wrote, and the other was a little basket I crocheted and gave her as a going away present when she moved. Have never given her a card. This is the first holiday season I am contemplating it, just as an overall thank you kind of gesture since we terminated sorta recently.

[CantExplain]

I gave Mr T a CD and he didn't even flinch.

[splitimage]

I've only given my T 2 gifts, one was a book I'd read that I thought she'd really enjoy and the other was a pair of handknit mittens, after she'd complimented mine, and said she wished she had a pair of red mittens - so I knit her a pair. I've occassionally given cards to various health care professionals who have helped me, but it would never in a million years occur to me to give one to my pdoc, that would be weird. Most of my therapists work in hospitals that have no gift policies.

spltimage

[IndestructibleGirl]

I think I'm going to go the card road. If I was more organized I'd make her some fudge or something.

[tooski]

I don't know if your T is with a clinic or in private practice, but in private practice a T's office often gives clues to their tastes, at least in their professional life. My T's office is full of books, and all of the other items are either family photos, inspirational things, or joke items. He has one of those talking fish, a gumball machine, Freud magic 8-ball, etc. & other funny stuff. That's why I'm giving him a gag gift this year, and the last two years were inspirational things.

I don't think a T expects a gift, so just do what's comfortable for you. No gift is fine, no card is fine. But I think any gift should be inexpensive or home-made. But really, each situation is unique and it depends on how the dyad thing is going.

[growlycat]

The more meaningful and personal the gift, the more likely a T is willing to accept it, at least that's been my experience.

[BonnieJean]

I missed Hanuka. It was during Thanksgiving this year. I do make her cards during the year 'when the spirit moves me.'

[ThisWayOut]

I made a card for my t this year. I had given my old t a gift at the holidays, but it was something small and stupid. I sent a card to my former t, and well be giving new t her card this week. It's also her birthday this week, but I'm all out of creative energy to make a second card (and it would be a bit much i think).
I think the gift thing is an individual-t-policy-type thing...

[rainbow8]

I don't give my T a holiday gift at this time of the year, but I've given her baked goods at other times. I know she likes them. I give her birthday presesnts, but they're mostly homemade cards. I've written her poems, too. I gave her a little stuffed kitten this year for a special time, and a stuffed bear to match mine.

My DBT T showed her "comfort kit" this week. In it, she has many cards given to her by clients. She said they're very meaningful to her, and almost teared up while looking at one of them. That made me realize that Ts DO have real feelings about us!

[Yogix]

For me, I'm just going to make a gift for my T, and explain what it means before I hand it over. I'll tell her if she doesn't accept it, then that's completely understandable, as I don't know what her boundaries are, but do know T's have tight boundaries sometimes.

I'm going to make a Moroccan lantern. They're beautiful!

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