I finally told him today via text (even though I just saw him yesterday) that I think about him often and am always wanting to talk to him between sessions, and it bugs me that I can't. I told him it's difficult for me, especially considering how lonely I am lately.

He hasn't responded yet, but what do I expect on a Friday night? He has a life. I'm not a special snowflake.

I feel like he's so important to me, but I am just one of the many he sees every day. The last thing he probably wants to do when he gets home is deal with "work." And it hurts to think that that is all I am...

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

Define idiot?

[SoupDragon]

l think you are very brave. l have had times when my T takes over all available brain space, but have never shared with him. l think it is probably a common experience and l am sure T's are aware of it. l think it is great that you feIt able to share with your T, definitely NOT an idiot.

[Raging Quiet]

I agree with SoupDragon. You were brave to reach out x

He still hasn't responded. I feel like a fool. He probably hates me.

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

[Syra]

Originally Posted by winenot3

I finally told him today via text (even though I just saw him yesterday) that I think about him often and am always wanting to talk to him between sessions, and it bugs me that I can't. I told him it's difficult for me, especially considering how lonely I am lately....
”

I think about my T all the time, and it worries me too. I don't know why. I think it's probably normal. I don't think about anything "inappropriate." I wish I didn't think about him all the time. I have a wonderful husband. It feels a little disloyal. But when I had a female T I thought about her all the time too, but it didn't feel so confusing. I think I'll avoid male Ts of datable age, even though I really like this one so not sure I would want to rule him out if I was looking for someone. Sometimes I don't know to make of all this.

[purplemystery]

(((winenot))) I'm sure your T doesn't hate you! Maybe he hasn't replied yet because he just thinks it's very significant and needs to be addressed in-person. Communication can so easily be confused with texting that maybe he is afraid of saying the wrong thing? But I am with you in finding it so agonizing to handle being in such an unequal relationship.

[Karrebear]

you have his cell phone number for a reason. He does not hate you.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by winenot3

I finally told him today via text (even though I just saw him yesterday) that I think about him often and am always wanting to talk to him between sessions, and it bugs me that I can't. I told him it's difficult for me, especially considering how lonely I am lately.

He hasn't responded yet, but what do I expect on a Friday night? He has a life. I'm not a special snowflake.

I feel like he's so important to me, but I am just one of the many he sees every day. The last thing he probably wants to do when he gets home is deal with "work." And it hurts to think that that is all I am...

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

No need for name calling, you're not an idiot at all. These are natural feelings...therapy is so intense! Once you find that person you feel so accepted by and share all your secrets it is normal to want to be closer with them.
He may have not responded because it is not a good text convo. I wouldn't say it is because you are "just work" to him. Therapists definitely care...but they have to be delicate about how they handle specific matters. I bet he'll touch on this subject next time you see him. I know it is hard.
Hang in there.

[purple orchid]

Dear Winenot3, please don't feel like an idiot.
I can identify with your feelings as this is exactly how I feel about my T to.
You are brave to have told him how you are feeling, now you can address it with him and discuss it openly in a session.
I'm sure his does care about you as a T.
Maybe he thinks it's not a good idea to text back so you don't get the wrong idea, somethings are just better discussed face to face, then he can judge you reactions and things can't be misunderstood so easily.
He is probably just trying to maintain good boundaries.
You didn't do anything wrong, infact I think you did something good.
I know it's difficult waiting for a response... when is your next appointment?
Takecare