[dolphingirl]

I am currently on a holiday break from T. Last time I saw her was a week and a half ago and the next time I'll see her is in 2.5 weeks. T was at a conference the first week and the next few the office is closed. Several days ago my grandma had a severe brain bleed and had been in a coma ever since. A day ago, she finally passed away. Part of me feels that this is something T would want to know about or that I should tell her about, but at the same time, I've somewhat talked with some supportive people from work and don't feel the need to urgently talk with T about the situation, but rather inform her of it. Even though she's out of the office, she will probably check her email and if I did feel I needed to talk to her urgently, she might even call.

Has anyone ever informed T of a situation without needing to urgently talk about it? What about writing T an email describing what happened over the last several days and including the line, "I just wanted to let you know this has been going on, but I am alright, as much as I can be."

[anilam]

Sorry about your grandma Great you've found support IRL.
No, I didn't. 3 of my grandparents died while I've been with this T and I never felt the need to inform him about it. Though I never feel the need to discuss with him anything via mail. If stg is urgent, I'll ask for additional session and if not possible I'll wait for my time.

However, I'd say go with your guts. Do YOU want her to know? Then mail her. If you truly "just" want to inform her Id say wait for the break to be over and tell her then.

I'm so sorry about your grandma too, I agree with anilam go with your gut feeling, If you need extra support then email her. I have never did this myself, I have always waited until session with my T.

[dolphingirl]

If it wasn't 2-3 weeks till our next session, I would just wait til then. Maybe since I want to email T I secretly/subconsciously want comfort from T.

[stopdog]

I have done so, but it was because I wanted to tell a human who was not going to get all involved or care really about it. I also usually tell the therapist not to contact me back because I don't want a conversation about it, rather just to have told someone who won't get all care-y.

[Hope-Full]

So sorry to hear about your grandma

I have done exactly that, left T a message along the lines of "I don't need/expect you to do anything, but I wanted to tell you that....." We then talk about it next time we meet. If I had to wait another 2.5 weeks, I'd most definitely be leaving T a message, so I didn't have to hold on to it for that long!

[dolphingirl]

Well, two days ago or a week after my grandma died, I finally decided to send T the email I had typed out. I wrote a couple of sentences, signed my name, then wrote the rest so she wouldn't have to read the whole thing. The first couple of sentences were, "I just needed to get this out and wanted to let you know. I'm alright, I don't need/expect much/anything, but when you have time could you read some of this (the beginning & end- it's long so don't read it all) and keep it safe for a few weeks" and then I summarized what happened in a sentence or two. After I signed my name there were about 3 paragraphs of details. I wrote it that way so T could just read a couple sentences if she wanted to and also so t knew I was okay and didn't need to talk with her immediately, though she probably would have arranged a short phone call if I really needed it. I wasn't sure if T would reply at all, but knowing what t has done before I guessed she would probably give a "short & sweet/to the point" reply. This morning I got this reply from T, "Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm so sad for you, what an overwhelming, helpless experience. I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family". Part of me can't wait for the session in 10 days- I'm in a weird way glad/excited to work this out.