[emptyspace]

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Do T's really think about everything they say and do in session? What meaning it has to the client?

Or do you think it is more of a skill they have to make relationships and what they say has been said a million times before, so they just wing it and role with the relationship?

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by emptyspace

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Do T's really think about everything they say and do in session? What meaning it has to the client?

Or do you think it is more of a skill they have to make relationships and what they say has been said a million times before, so they just wing it and role with the relationship?

I'm sure some things they say are probably said to many clients over time, but my T often pauses to consider what has been said or in response to a question, before answering or offering his perspective.

[Leah123]

My therapist has been in practice 20 years. She says she does not plan sessions, and that each client-therapist relationship unfolds differently. It's my experience that she doesn't have an agenda as far as saying or doing certain things: she lets me lead, and based on her years of training and decades of experience, she is at the ready to relate to me in a therapeutic method. She draws on her knowledge of theory and tools, as well as the skills of empathy, mirroring, critical thinking, problem solving, etc. as needed, almost always with a sense of warmth, caring, and sometimes humor.

So, in her case, I'd say she is just especially skilled/experienced at building the therapeutic relationship: she doesn't need a script, she can improvise. I don't think she's said everything a million times before either. We've talked about a number of unique things that require her authentic, novel response, which is of course, still grounded somewhat in her vocational experience.

[Hoppery]

I think it's probably a bit of both with some, or one or the other with another. It all depends on the therapist and their personalities, skills ect..

[stopdog]

Theoretically I believe they are supposed to think. In actuality, I believe the one I see is winging it all the time.
The second one is a bit better at thinking.

[archipelago]

If they are good I don't see a true distinction between thinking and winging it. The thinking-on-the-wing is like someone said a good improvising for each situation. So yeah they learn the basics, but they if they are loosened up and ready to go with you they are thinking and flying at the same time.

In my particular case my therapist knows how sensitive his patients are to everything so he is quite careful and thoughtful but not to the point of not being spontaneous. In fact it is that spontaneous responsiveness that works the best for me. That comes from years and years of experience, in my opinion, though some might have a special gift for it.

[brillskep]

I guess we try, but therapists are human and prone to error. I have met therapists who seemed to just go with the flow and then, when they later explained what they did, it became apparent that every sentence actually had a purpose. With others it seems to be more of an attitude: know the general rules, understand the client's needs, be present and pay attention ... It can be very challenging to pay attention to every single word and gesture for an entire hour (or even 50 minutes), especially so if it is a long-term therapy. Which is why I think the therapist's personal therapy is so important. To err is human. I think it's actually an important moment if the therapist says that one word or phrase that didn't come out right and then listens to the client's reaction, and owns up to his/her mistake. Then that moment of doing or saying less-than-the-right-thing can be turned into something therapeutic.

Originally Posted by emptyspace

.
Do T's really think about everything they say and do in session? What meaning it has to the client?

Or do you think it is more of a skill they have to make relationships and what they say has been said a million times before, so they just wing it and role with the relationship?