[Arha]

I just wondered whether anyone else has been encouraged by their T to name a part of themselves that might be too dominant, or perhaps a part that is too submissive?
For me, it is my inner critic, now generally known as the Critic, and encouraged by my T to be set aside for therapy sessions. (Haven't managed it yet.)

[Chopin99]

My second T encouraged this. I had a "critic" too. I don't know that it was particularly helpful as the critic remained. My current T considered the critic a fundamental part of me that grew out of the circumstances of my childhood; however, she considered that part one that needed to "grow up" so to speak. I've now learned to be gentler with myself. I think for me, to be gentler with myself is a choice I make every time I want to be critical of myself.

[stopdog]

No. I don't even understand what that would mean.

Are you understanding it and finding it useful?

[Arha]

I am finding it useful, but it has taken me a long time to get to this point.

Initially I resisted the idea of a part of me being different, and I also resisted naming it. It felt silly, and contrived.
I have got over this and come to realise it is a useful step for me. My inner critic was a very strong part of the resistance.

Like Chopin99, the critic was also a part of me that came to be because of my the way things were for me as a child, and helped me get through difficult times, but is now restricting me.

[Perna]

I did that on my own one weekend, identified and named about 13 or so I had/wanted and my therapist was thrilled and it helped me a lot as I was constantly checking to see what I was saying/thinking/acting out by name. I only remember "Sarcaster" :-) at the moment and "Queen's Knight" (a brave part of me :-) I know I had a "Critic" too though, and motherly/caring parts, etc.

I still have my therapist's voice in my head saying, "Not with THAT attitude!" when I was doing my nobody loves me/everybody hates me/I'm going out in the garden and eat worms discouraged act I catch it every time now and it makes me laugh at myself to do so. One thing that has helped me in that area too is when I catch myself, take whatever attitude to the farthest, ridiculous extreme you can; in other words, make fun of the critical side of you so bad it gets too embarrassed to show its head anymore, LOL. My critic doesn't use very specific words, is vague, thinks like "you're stupid" like that actually means anything? I either start using fifty-cent words when it does that or ask questions to get it to be more specific, "What was the exact transgression you are referring to that gave you that mistaken idea? Do you mean I am ignorant or did I make a mistake? I like making mistakes, it's the only way to learn! If I'm ignorant of something though, do let me know so I can learn more about that subject. . ." etc.

[Freewilled]

I often describe myself in therapy - like I will say, "part of me feels" and go on to say whatever it is I am feeling. I'm always conflicted. So annoying. T says that he hears part of me (my inner critic) to be almost tyrannical. That gave me pause...

Lately, I'm practicing self-care. I've never really grasped this concept, but I think that was because my self-care needs to start from the inside and not the outside. Meaning, if I just went and took a bath just so I could say I was practicing self-care, I'd start critiquing myself almost immediately. I wasn't setting the scene right. I needed a candle. Blah blah blah. Then later, I'm not taking a bath often enough. It didn't help anyway. So more blah blah blah.

Instead, I'm just trying to take care of myself almost like I'm another person. Anytime I notice myself criticizing myself for not "doing it right" I gently say something along the lines of, "its hard to do this because of all you've been through, isn't it? It's ok, Freewilled."

I even put my hand on my heart a lot. I felt really weird about it at first but now I find it comforting.

I know its prob a little "out there", but seems to be helping me quiet the harshness I'm used to.....

[archipelago]

I had a therapist who ended up a Jungian later. He nicknamed a part of me the Samurai. It wasn't an inner voice but a way of doing things. I grew up in a strict military household that did not permit any needs or any signs of vulnerability. So I grew up as a "tough soldier" which in the end was causing me harm so identifying it was a way to notice the times when this kicked in and try to soften it somewhat.

When I switched to another shrink, he didn't really believe in separating out different parts. His general approach is cohesion or integration so naming something as distinct would go against this idea to some extent. Occasionally I will bring up the Samurai and he understands what I mean and agrees with the general idea.

Over time that the Samurai has softened and almost completely dissolved so I still have some of the strength it provided when I need it, but the rigidity of it is no longer there.