What does this mean?

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 03:06 AM

What does my therapist mean when she says " i feel our therapeutic alliance is deepening"?

blur · Dec 30, 2013, 03:26 AM

it sounds like she thinks the attachment is growing.

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 03:35 AM

she thinks i'm becoming attached to her? Or is she saying it's mutual?

Nightlight · Dec 30, 2013, 04:10 AM

Most research seems to indicate that the therapeutic alliance is one of the better predictors of treatment outcome. I think your therapist was just referring to the therapeutic relationship.

anilam · Dec 30, 2013, 04:19 AM

As freaky as it sounds (at least to me) I'd translate it as a positive thing- therapeutic alliance is crucial for therapy to work. I guess it means you're willing to work (trust and be open) with your T and the T is more attuned to you? Not sure about the T part but I'd say it should be mutual somehow...

Dec 30, 2013, 04:22 AM

That you have more trust in the therapy now?

blur · Dec 30, 2013, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

she thinks i'm becoming attached to her? Or is she saying it's mutual?

Maybe a bit of both. It sounds like you are beginning to trust her and open up more and more. As that happens I'd imagine she would feel the relationship between you is growing stronger. Do you feel like you are starting to trust her and grow in the T relationship?

stopdog · Dec 30, 2013, 04:54 AM

I don't know what the therapist means by such a thing, but the phrase doesn't sound good to me.

Dec 30, 2013, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

What does my therapist mean when she says " i feel our therapeutic alliance is deepening"?

I would interpret it to mean that your work in therapy is flowing more smoothly. That you are speaking more freely, perhaps, and that she feels that it is getting easier for her to make connections in what you say and ask relevant questions.

Raging Quiet · Dec 30, 2013, 06:38 AM

Personally, I would take it as you are beginning to trust her?

Sorry if that's wrong.

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blur

Maybe a bit of both. It sounds like you are beginning to trust her and open up more and more. As that happens I'd imagine she would feel the relationship between you is growing stronger. Do you feel like you are starting to trust her and grow in the T relationship?

Well it's only been 14 sessions so far. I do feel like we are settling in a bit with each other. I trust her somewhat, as much as you can trust any person you've spent 14 hours with i suppose.

I know it's supposed to be a good thing, so why am i filled with panic?

Hoppery · Dec 30, 2013, 06:52 AM

Maybe it's because you have to reveal more then you would to anyone to a therapist? It's kind of personal, isn't it? To reveal things to her that you wouldn't reveal with your own family. Your letting them in. And that can be scary. Have you tried talking to her about how you are feeling? If not, try. And if you feel like you cannot tell her everything, tell her a little something or give a hint to how you are feeling. She can help you and I'm sure she won't judge you.

Even write a letter. I suggest this a lot to people but it really is a lot easier to write it down on paper and give her it then it is to say it. 14 sessions isn't a lot and it's great that you already trust her, even if only a little. It takes a while to feel fully comfortable with it, I imagine. So far so good, don't expect too much too soon and most importantly, keep on going with the therapy. I hope this helps you and all goes well

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Well it's only been 14 sessions so far. I do feel like we are settling in a bit with each other. I trust her somewhat, as much as you can trust any person you've spent 14 hours with i suppose.

I know it's supposed to be a good thing, so why am i filled with panic?

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoppery

Maybe it's because you have to reveal more then you would to anyone to a therapist? It's kind of personal, isn't it? To reveal things to her that you wouldn't reveal with your own family. Your letting them in. And that can be scary. Have you tried talking to her about how you are feeling? If not, try. And if you feel like you cannot tell her everything, tell her a little something or give a hint to how you are feeling. She can help you and I'm sure she won't judge you.

Even write a letter. I suggest this a lot to people but it really is a lot easier to write it down on paper and give her it then it is to say it. 14 sessions isn't a lot and it's great that you already trust her, even if only a little. It takes a while to feel fully comfortable with it, I imagine. So far so good, don't expect too much too soon and most importantly, keep on going with the therapy. I hope this helps you and all goes well

I'm sure it will be discussed next session, she's very good at dragging information out of me LOL
What she said was part of a text after i said i was quitting. It's all related i guess to the drama i've had this weekend.

Hoppery · Dec 30, 2013, 07:29 AM

Ah okay. Well I hope it goes well for you but if you ever struggle to tell her something, try the letter. Okay? And I know how you feel about someone being good at dragging information out of you! I've only met my mental health nurse specialist only once, yet he dragged more information out of me in our first half an hour session, then anyone has been able to drag out of my in my entire life, including my family. If you need to talk more, we are here

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I'm sure it will be discussed next session, she's very good at dragging information out of me LOL
What she said was part of a text after i said i was quitting. It's all related i guess to the drama i've had this weekend.

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 08:23 AM

hahaha that's a good nurse that can achieve that! Sometimes it is about asking the right questions.

Hoppery · Dec 30, 2013, 08:29 AM

Yes it is. He was very kind, calm and caring. He seemed to genuinely care about me and even said, I can see him instead of my phycratrist. Even though he doesn't know much about me. But he does know that I haven't talked to any phycratrist as much as I did with him because he said: I am glad that you feel like you can talk to me.

He also doesn't just sit there like phycratrists do, he listens. He looks at you even if your not looking at him and he talks to you like you are a human, not like you are a patient. He doesn't step the boundaries from what I can tell but he isn't totally closed off either. If he has something in common with you, he'll say. He writes notes, but it doesn't bother you because he doesn't try to hide it. He also said he would chase up social services if they took too long. So he's willing to go the extra mile.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

hahaha that's a good nurse that can achieve that! Sometimes it is about asking the right questions.

A Red Panda · Dec 30, 2013, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Well it's only been 14 sessions so far. I do feel like we are settling in a bit with each other. I trust her somewhat, as much as you can trust any person you've spent 14 hours with i suppose.

I know it's supposed to be a good thing, so why am i filled with panic?

I get it. My T's told me a few times that he's glad that I'm opening up more - and that makes me panic. I also said that I wasn't coming back after the session I have today - due to the GPs being able to see all of his reports if they wanted to. So not really him. And I'm panicking over it.

I don't know about you, but I know that letting someone in scares the hell out of me. It means they have more chances to hurt me and reject me. It means that the more I let them in, the sooner it will be that it will all be over.

So any sign that things are going "better" for every tends to signal for me that things are going to get a lot worse. I might even be WANTING to be closer and yet I still will panic.

I'm sure that your T will be alright with knowing that you feel some panic over this.

Hoppery · Dec 30, 2013, 09:01 AM

Can you not ask your t to keep things private and confidential unless its a life or death situation?

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

I get it. My T's told me a few times that he's glad that I'm opening up more - and that makes me panic. I also said that I wasn't coming back after the session I have today - due to the GPs being able to see all of his reports if they wanted to. So not really him. And I'm panicking over it.

I don't know about you, but I know that letting someone in scares the hell out of me. It means they have more chances to hurt me and reject me. It means that the more I let them in, the sooner it will be that it will all be over.

So any sign that things are going "better" for every tends to signal for me that things are going to get a lot worse. I might even be WANTING to be closer and yet I still will panic.

I'm sure that your T will be alright with knowing that you feel some panic over this.

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

I get it. My T's told me a few times that he's glad that I'm opening up more - and that makes me panic. I also said that I wasn't coming back after the session I have today - due to the GPs being able to see all of his reports if they wanted to. So not really him. And I'm panicking over it.

I don't know about you, but I know that letting someone in scares the hell out of me. It means they have more chances to hurt me and reject me. It means that the more I let them in, the sooner it will be that it will all be over.

So any sign that things are going "better" for every tends to signal for me that things are going to get a lot worse. I might even be WANTING to be closer and yet I still will panic.

I'm sure that your T will be alright with knowing that you feel some panic over this.

YES, i do want to be closer but i am terrified of what it means. There's a real push pull thing going on as well as alarm bells ringing all over the place, it's like a ww2 inside my whole body right now. Arghhhh

Hoppery · Dec 30, 2013, 09:14 AM

Even if it doesn't feel like it, I'm sure it'll all work out. I guess these things take a while to straighten out a bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Asiablue

YES, i do want to be closer but i am terrified of what it means. There's a real push pull thing going on as well as alarm bells ringing all over the place, it's like a ww2 inside my whole body right now. Arghhhh

A Red Panda · Dec 30, 2013, 09:20 AM

Asia - I could have easily written that. It'll be helpful to work your way through it though, I'm sure!

Lauliza · Dec 30, 2013, 09:31 AM

What I understand it to mean is that you and your T are more in synch and working together toward a shared goal. That could be through a deeper emotional connection or that you are on the same page, more so than you had been previously?

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stopdog · Dec 30, 2013, 09:43 AM

My reaction to reading this thread and what some posters think this phrase/situation means, causes me to feel panic. (I am laughing at myself here -and feeling anxiety- not any other poster).

Asiablue · Dec 30, 2013, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

My reaction to reading this thread and what some posters think this phrase/situation means, causes me to feel panic. (I am laughing at myself here -and feeling anxiety- not any other poster).

Hey! it's all very well you laughing at your reaction, but i'm the one having to tolerate the "warm fuzzies" from a therapist!!!

It's all witchcraft, i tell ya!

stopdog · Dec 30, 2013, 10:03 AM

When the therapist has attempted such wily trickery with me, I have pushed her back. Happily for me, she rarely says such awful things to me anymore.

I suppose tolerating it is another option. Good luck with it.

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