Hi, I assume this is quite common.

The T told me a few weeks ago she's been in her own psychotherapy for nearly 17 years. She see's her own psychoanalytic therapist. I did mention that she herself must have gone through all the transference type stuff, and she paused and rather reluctantly replied " um yeah ".

I guess I'm trying to wonder what it's like for this therapist in her personal life, because I know she has a family with very young children, she see's lot's of clients and off course her own psychotherapy, which must be a lot to take on. She also has another job other then being a T, but I don't want to mention it because I feel it's giving away too much information. She works very long hours and get's home late.

I asked her how she was a for months ago I said "are things good for you in life" to which she replied " not really no ".
That got me thinking what was bothering her. I did ask her next session ( this was early November) " what the problem was with her" and she just said at the time " it was just the strains and stresses of life ". " Problems with all have with realationships etc ... ".

Now of course, I put two and two together and may be getting 15, but I immediately assume she's having issues with her BF/ Husband, and her busy life and being a therapist is drifting her realationship with him apart. I also assume he's cheating on her.

It's probably all incorrect, but my immediate thought is not to replace her husband/BF, but to be like a therapist for her.

Also though, I'm having some borderline erotic thoughts of wanting to massage her, and get her to relax and take the stress away from her.

[Daeva]

Seems like you want to play the rescuer role.
The Rescuer Identity | Psychology Today

Yeah possibly, a lot of what's mentioned in that blog I can agree with. However, this is only something with this T. I don't have a history of this rescuer identity with anyone else.

[UnderRugSwept]

I think it's easy when we get close to someone to want to take care of them (for some of us). One of my Ts has worn the same sweater 6 sessions in a row(!!!) and I really do hope he owns something more; I want to take him shopping! (An issue of mine. ) I truly hope he got some new clothes for Xmas! Also, I know he has issues sleeping, so I was telling him about something my other T recommended for me to try.

I think sometimes it's a mix of caring, awareness, and wanting to help "fix" other people...no one wants to see someone they care about hurt or uncomfortable. It's kind of hard to stifle these impulses when you know (or even can sense) that something is off!

[UnderRugSwept]

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

Yeah possibly, a lot of what's mentioned in that blog I can agree with. However, this is only something with this T. I don't have a history of this rescuer identity with anyone else.

Oops, cross-post...there must be something about the connection with her that is different for you then, do you think?

Originally Posted by Elsewhere

Oops, cross-post...there must be something about the connection with her that is different for you then, do you think?

Well the reality I care for this person is a first.

Just a couple of months ago I could see she was struggling with something. She said " I really miss the tea you used to make me and really could do with a cup right now ".

Seemed to me she was finding it hard to keep it together. But then she did improve next few sessions.

The impression I get from her is she's under a lot of stress and I know I can remove that stress and pressure from her, but only if she reveals what it is that's bothering her.

But I know that won't happen.