[Ambra]

Guys, I didn't make it. I'm at work and my boss is violating my boundaries a lot and now invited me for a drink while my colleague was outside for a while. I can't function anymore. I'm supposed to see T in 8 days but I had to ask her. I've been holding on since dec. 27th but now I just wrote T an e-mail to not to disturb her on the phone (asking how I can function better and make it through the week) but now I feel like an idiot. But I really feel like crying, don't know what to say for the drink and feel trapped and I'm really triggered. He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. But I bothered T. She won't reply and maybe will get angry.

[healingme4me]

T isn't the only person to lend support about things like this!! OMG!!

Do you want a drink? "I'm good." "Can't, got xyz to do later" "Can't driving." "No thanks, perhaps another day."

Hugging and Kissing?!! You need a LAWYER not a therapist!!!

[healingme4me]

Oh to add, if out and about, and you don't want to drink, order a Seltzer Water, with Cranberry Juice and Lime....it comes in a bigger glass, ppl will wonder how you got the large drink...there's ways around drinking, if that's an issue..

[A Red Panda]

I'm not sure what your job situation is like, but is there Human Resources that you can contact? That's sexual harrassment. Have you told him "no thank you" yet? It's hard to do that especially with a boss, so it's ok if you haven't said anything bluntly.

[anilam]

Making a recording of him being inappropriate- hugging/kissing you at work (video's best) or finding a witness/es (your colleagues) would be a good idea. Cause let's face it- harassment laws are not that great in Europe (depends on country- IDK where you're at...)
Also, make sure you're crystal clear that you're not interested.
Re your text to T- I wouldn't worry about it that much. But if she's not open to offer out of session contact I wouldn't expect her replying/offering some support.

[Raging Quiet]

I'm sorry things sound so difficult for you. I know when I had a manager who made me feel awful I turned to t for support and changed my job. However, my manager was a bully and didn't treat me in the way yours does. Does he act this way to other staff members?

I hope t gets back to you.

[Elektra_]

stand up for urself and tell him hes being inappropriate.

[Ambra]

I told him NO several times and also today. I also told him please, don't do that because it's inappropriate to me. It would be a problem for me to leave the job because it's extremely difficult to find another one (and this one especially is my dream job, sigh) but I'm looking for something else in the meantime and I'll leave it as soon as I'll find another one, at this point (any job). My boss keeps saying "I'm really sorry, it won't happen anymore, sorry for violating your boundaries" etc but then it happens again. I just told him I'm a bit sick and want to work from home next monday and tuesday.
No, he doesn't seem to act this way with others. Today my colleague said to me "our boss is very warm with you, that's weird". He was off until today but is going to be around next week fortunately.

Oh I didn't write my T about it, but since I shake and can't focus on anything when I feel threatened (like I'm not there) and feel like I'm fainting, I was very vague and asked for a quick fix in "crisis moments" since I can't use the techniques she taught me on the workplace. I just feel very guilty and stupid now that I bothered T. Hope she won't be mad, I wish I hadn't done it.

[Ambra]

Oh my, T has just got back to me with a long and very kind e-mail!

[AllyIsHopeful]

Glad to hear she got back to you!
I was about to say "I very highly doubt she will be angry or mad!"
As long as emails aren't excessive there's no reason for her to. Even then, she wouldn't get "mad", I'm sure she would just discuss it with you.
Glad she had kind words to say. Hope it made you feel a little better at least!


-Hope

[DelusionsDaily]

I'm so glad your T was able to get back to you. I hope she was helpful. I'm sorry you are going through that situation with your boss. Sounds awful. Hope things get better for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ambra]

Thank you! wow.. T offered advice/emergency tips and comforting words and even told me I can e-mail her my thoughts if I want to, but I think I understood the method and want to try it first now I'm safe home. And I don't want to take advantage from the e-mail exchange unless it's strictly necessary or threatening, like SI. (She just replied again! I know it's normal to many of you but it's amazing to me).
Fortunately I'll work from home until Wednesday. Can't wait for the session (and to find a new job. I liked this one so much, sigh. But I can't keep it...).

Btw, now I even have to review my rejection assumptions that she "will never listen to me outside sessions and will get mad at me" that I have elaborated during these months trying to be less attached.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by Ambra

Thank you! wow.. T offered advice/emergency tips and comforting words and even told me I can e-mail her my thoughts if I want to, but I think I understood the method and want to try it first now I'm safe home. And I don't want to take advantage from the e-mail exchange unless it's strictly necessary or threatening, like SI. (She just replied again! I know it's normal to many of you but it's amazing to me).
Fortunately I'll work from home until Wednesday. Can't wait for the session (and to find a new job. I liked this one so much, sigh. But I can't keep it...).

Btw, now I even have to review my rejection assumptions that she "will never listen to me outside sessions and will get mad at me" that I have elaborated during these months trying to be less attached.

The rejection assumptions were tough for me too. My T always gets on my case about making assumptions. lol

-Hope