[Jordy]

I really need to talk with my T about some of the verbal abuse I've been through with my family over Christmas. I know that if I wait until my session with her on January 17th I'll probably chicken out and even if I do mention it, I probably won't be able to really open up about this. But I see her on January 6th and 13th for my DBT skills group.

Do you think it would be appropriate, to give her a really open letter about this at the end of the group? Like quickly telling her that this should be our subject in my individual session, but that it's be easier for me if she read the letter the first when I'm not around.
I've never done this before with her, so i don't know how she would react. And I wonder if I should give it to her on the 6th or the 13th... What would you do?

I think it would be fine. I also think it would be fine to ask if you could meet earlier - even if it is 1/2 hour over the phone. Most will do that if they can.

[stopdog]

I have mailed letters to the therapists I see. It has not been a problem.

[SoupDragon]

l am sure she will guide you to what's best if you do give her the letter at your next DBT session,

[Jordy]

Ok, will start with writing that letter... don't know if I'll give it to her on the 6th, as I would hate to have 10 days of overthinking before discussing it with her... I may take it with and decide once I'm there.

[tealBumblebee]

I say you should totally do it. In fact, I did a similar thing when I first started t. I had so many things that I was and still am too shy/embarrassed to talk about and she was constantly encouraging me to try to allow her to shoulder some of the weight. So I finally broke and wrote her a letter telling her whatever my heart could allow - she called it a very open "naked" and vulnerable letter - it was 12/13 pages long typed. In the end, she knows whats going on and I know that when i'm comfortable broaching a topic in detail, she will be past the "shock" factor. It made things awkward (for me not her) but that ended up beginning the awesome relationship we developed.

I say go for it. Emotions are always more raw in a letter, and at present. It allows T to see things beyond the context of conversation in the room and more "in the moment". T will be able to see how things are in your mind and perspective (my T calls my letters "heart thoughts") and I imagine the next session would be very helpful for you and productive. Good luck on deciding!

[Jordy]

I just wrote a two page letter to my brother that I may give to my T. If I do she'll see a very different side of me as I never curse or show many emotions in sessions and this letter is full of cursing and anger... Seems like writing letters to my family is a good way to let my emotions out... The question is: will I be brave enough to show them to my T?
I agree with all of you that it probably would be helpful and it may lead to a good session. But I hate being vulnerable... I'm so scared of showing my true self, so scared of being abandoned when she reads how messed up I am, so scared of being hurt again...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jordy]

Just wrote a second letter to my brother and I think my T has to read this one...
The big question is January 6th or 13th? I wish I could see her before the 17th, but not sure I can. And knowing she has the letters for 10 days before we discuss them would be terrifying to me!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rzay4]

I would do the 13th

[Mactastic]

Originally Posted by Rzay4

I would do the 13th

So would I. Giving it to her on the 6th just leaves more room for doubts about "did I say the right things?"

[Victoria'smom]

I would do it the 6th so that there's no room for backing out. My T usually gets letters at least every week and its usually 5+ pages.

[Raging Quiet]

My t loves letters

[Jordy]

To be honest I'm already thinking about backing out. I didn't reread the letters because that would make it worse but I already feel like I've opened up far too much in them. I hope she won't judge me for some of the things I wrote.

I'll probably take them with me on the 6th and decide on the spot whether I give them or not. Maybe if I arrive a little early I could give them before group, so I won't spend group thinking about giving the letters...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[elevatedsoul]

i have been thinking about doing the exact same thing, i could write a few thousand words trying to explain my situation since i have a hard time talking, i just wasn't sure if it was frowned upon or not because i know they like to analyze? us? i have an apt today so i will ask her if she wouldn't mind a letter - its much easier to speak from within in text for me, i seem to be a different person on the outside when having to socially interact, thanks for this post; i think you should share the letters with your T, if you feel comfortable doing so.. and to me when ever i write i always re-read it and think that its stupid, or that its silly and doesnt make sense, but i just try to push that aside and let myself know that is the dark side of me trying to hide and the light side of me wants help

im going to ask mine first if she would be ok/interested in letters, maybe you could do the same before giving them to her? they know i take a ton of notes, but they have never requested/wanted to look at them... so what im going to do is write a paper up and ask them if they would be interested in it before i tell them i have it completed, just so i dont get too anxious.. letters are a good way to get a message across in my opinion

i wish you best of luck

btw i asked if they had an email i could contact them at since i have a hard time with telephones and they said they only recently got the internet? is it common practice to be able to email your therapist? im not interested in bombing them with emails but only in writing my true concerns since i cant "say" them

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

i have been thinking about doing the exact same thing, i could write a few thousand words trying to explain my situation since i have a hard time talking, i just wasn't sure if it was frowned upon or not because i know they like to analyze? us? i have an apt today so i will ask her if she wouldn't mind a letter - its much easier to speak from within in text for me, i seem to be a different person on the outside when having to socially interact, thanks for this post; i think you should share the letters with your T, if you feel comfortable doing so.. and to me when ever i write i always re-read it and think that its stupid, or that its silly and doesnt make sense, but i just try to push that aside and let myself know that is the dark side of me trying to hide and the light side of me wants help

im going to ask mine first if she would be ok/interested in letters, maybe you could do the same before giving them to her? they know i take a ton of notes, but they have never requested/wanted to look at them... so what im going to do is write a paper up and ask them if they would be interested in it before i tell them i have it completed, just so i dont get too anxious.. letters are a good way to get a message across in my opinion

i wish you best of luck

btw i asked if they had an email i could contact them at since i have a hard time with telephones and they said they only recently got the internet? is it common practice to be able to email your therapist? im not interested in bombing them with emails but only in writing my true concerns since i cant "say" them

Mine suggested I write when we had a break over the summer and again over Christmas but she said no email. I don't know why. She said I could post the letters to her (she practices from home so I have her address) or I could take them to the session. She also won't communicate by text and is very short on the phone! Have tried that but it was a disaster and I still feel guilty for invading her boundaries.

[Jordy]

Mine never suggested writing to her, that's why I'm a bit concerned about giving the letters. Maybe I could ask her on Monday and if she's ok with it give the letters on the 13th. I'm so scared of her reaction though...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Jordy]

Group is tonight, I will try to ask for an earlier session and give the letters. I need to talk about this before I see my brother on Sunday...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk