Building the relationship

How did you and your T build a relationship?
When you started with your T, did your therapy seem to be just a conversation between two people?

I started with another therapist and it seems different than the therapy I have had before. It seems like we are just talking, and figuring each other out. Very slow, relaxed pace.

I just made myself say things that I'm not comfortable saying, because I'm trying to make his job as easy as possible. So I share things that I wouldn't otherwise share.

It probably helps that the first time I met him I was rather hypomanic due to some antidepressants so I babbled away.

Since then - he's apologized to me a few times when I've had the guts to tell him about something he's said that was upsetting. They're the only really sincere-feeling apologies I've ever been given. He's responded well to me when I've been stressed out and freaking out - in a way that actually makes it sound like he listens to me. He's working on trust and I'm working on trying to share what's on my mind.

I think we have a similar sense of humour though - it can be a bit on the cruel side but is meant to be self-depreciating. Which is quite frankly a terrible sense of humour for someone to have, because when you are TRYING to tease and insult yourself... it comes out just like you're being rude to someone else.

What does your info mean about case study from the forum for homework? Do you mind explaining?

Oops.... sorry. It was a "joke" from an old thread about something. It was from along time ago and I did not realize it was still there.

I've had two T's and both have been very different. T1 was mostly business and little small talk. I'm not sure how much it was the T's style or me, but I would come in and she would ask "what's been on your mind?" in this hypotonic like way and then I would just emotionally vomit all session until time was up. If I paused and had nothing to say, she'd bring me back to the bad place with some triggering questions. T2's sessions are a lot more laid back. I come in and we will chat for a while before emotional stuff. Sometimes he will make a triggering comment or question, and if I am unable to talk about it without a lot of difficulty we will move on. As a result both feel very different, because with T1 I would often leave exhausted and drained and T2 I sometimes leave feeling great, but that's probably because I didn't spend the last 50 minutes wailing incoherently.

I wonder how much is due to the way I act and has nothing to do with either T. For example, am I allowing small talk to happen with T2 and I didn't with T1? I feel like T2 encourages small talk, where T1 did not at all but then again in both cases I've been happy with the situation as it was mostly. I wonder if T1 would have allowed small talk had I initiated it. I've improved with both T's, but have spent more time with T2 and believe I've improved the most with him despite being in less pain in session, I've discussed more difficult material and have learned more about myself and become more honest with myself. Of course he was building off the prior T's work.

I built my relationship with my T one session and one disclosure at a time.