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#1
Jan 09, 2014, 06:49 AM
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Ufff, I did it. I was really afraid that he would terminate with me (Daeva once said that e.g. in NY recording someone without the permission is illegal - good that I am not in US). I recorded the last session without my T's knowledge - I knew that it was inappropriate and unethical but I did not record it because I wanted to hear his voice but to have a proof just in case. Today I told my T about it. He took it unexpectedly well. Of course I didn't just say: "T, I recorded the last session, it was wrong". Instead I described in details how I felt before the session and why I did it, he said that he understands why I did it and he's okay with it. Of course he thinks that recording without a knowledge/permission is not okay (I think I said it hundreds times today that it was really wrong) but he's okay with it as I told him the reason. He also said that of course he would prefer if I told him before the session that I'd like to record it but then he realized that then I would not have to record it at all and he said that it was not so bad choice to record the session because probably I wouldn't tell him things which I told without the safety feeling due to the recording. My reason of recording was that I wanted to tell him something which could make him very angry so I was afraid that he would use his power against me and no one would believe me. He actually was surprised that I deleted it because he said that I could use it as a confirmation that he's not like my abusers and even if/when I provoked him last time, he did not hurt me so I could listen to it every time I was doubting in him
 I thought about it as well but I decided that my feeling that it was inappropriate was much stronger than the need of keeping the recording...Actually maybe my T is not so bad... 
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 Aloneandafraid, healingme4me, rainbow8, unaluna, Wren_
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 Aloneandafraid, rainbow8, unlockingsanity, Wren_
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#2
Jan 09, 2014, 07:47 AM
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I'm glad it went better than you expected
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#3
Jan 10, 2014, 11:20 PM
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Are you going to keep recording?
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#4
Jan 11, 2014, 04:13 AM
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Quote:
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| CantExplain
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#5
Jan 11, 2014, 05:14 AM
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It does sound like you have a really cool T.
I also don't think that you have to worry about him behaving unethically now, even if he was unethical.
__________________
___________________________________ "Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!" --John Irving "What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step." --C.S. Lewis |
| someone321
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#6
Jan 11, 2014, 07:02 AM
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Quote:
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#7
Jan 11, 2014, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
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| someone321
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#8
Jan 11, 2014, 09:10 AM
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Quote:
I knew that I would be paralyzed if he ever wanted to hurt me and I wouldn't be able to do or say anything. Thus, as I couldn't prevent anything, I just wanted to protect myself as well as I could, even if my fear was irrational... Thank you for understanding...
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| Freewilled
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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