[someone321]

Sorry, I feel like I'm spamming here but if I don't write it somewhere I'll get crazy... So I saw T today, and everything was ok. Unfortunately afternoon I started thinking... And I realized that even if I was sure that I remember everything - it was not true and today worst memories started coming back, one after another and they actually change everything, like they put my world upside-down, really... Or maybe it's just my sick imagination... I don't know, I am so confused that I even don't know what was real and what not and I hate myself for it... I want to see my T so badly and there is a chance that he has a free spot tomorrow as primarily we were supposed to meet on Fridays since this year... But I can't ask him for it... Last time, when I asked if it's possible to meet sometimes between sessions or write to him, he said that I should be able to survive from one session to another and the relationship with a T is like a relationship in the real life - I have to get used to the fact that I cannot reach him whenever I want...

But does it apply also for such emergencies? Or maybe I am not in emergency as I do not plan to do anything stupid - just these terrible memories... And tomorrow I have to pick up my diploma and there will be a big ceremony and the party afterwards and even normally I hate crowds but now I even cannot imagine going there... But I have to, I promised... Would be nice to wake up tomorrow with a terrible flu...

[kaliope]

it really doesn't hurt to call since you are in so much distress. just tell him the memories brought up in session are really causing you pain and difficulty and you need help sorting them out and you don't think it can wait till next week because it is interfering with your functioning. that you aren't functioning. just expect to hear no based on your past conversation with him. that's the worst that could happen. but who knows, he may say yes or he could talk you down enough on the phone to get you through to next week. take care

[Raging Quiet]

I agree with Kalilope; T's are aware this can happen too sometimes.

[someone321]

Hmmm... With respect to callings - there is no chance, I do not call at all, everything I have to arrange I manage via e-mails or sms and if it's really obligatory, my H calls for me... But assuming that I could send an e-mail... One thing is how to title such a mail?! "Kind of emergency appointment"? It's not an emergency as I am not in danger but it's not also a normal appointment because he doesn't schedule those between sessions (I don't know if he schedules any - once I asked for such session and he said no).

Another thing is that I can imagine myself talking about it in a planned session but at this "emergency" one? I'll come and he will say: ok so you really needed that session, I'm listen then... Chances that I'll be able to say a word are not very high... Maybe I just should stop complaining and simply survive till next week... What do you think?

[Lauliza]

Does he not allow calls or do you just not feel comfortable calling? That seems like the easiest way, but if you can't then asking for the session can't hurt. He may end up giving you the talk about not scheduling sessions every time you feel the urgency. But you could use that as an opportunity to ask him to suggest alternatives that might help.

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[Auntie2014]

I would send email with a request for suggestions for what to do about XXX till your next appointment.

[someone321]

I don't know if he allows calls, on his webpage there is his office number but once when I mentioned that I hate calling, he said that it's good because he too...

And once I have already sent him an e-mail with a request for an extra session but he only replied that he did not have any free spot... And when (at the session) I asked how I can handle the time between sessions, he said that in the best case I will be able to forget about sessions in between (doesn't work btw). When I asked if I am allowed to write him an e-mail if I really need, he only said that he cannot prevent me from that but I should get used to that I cannot reach him whenever I want but only at the session...

On the other hand, it might be also my fault because during sessions I am always very calm, emotionless, so he doesn't see how I could have problems with handling my feelings if I am so good in controlling them...