[fmorrow]

I really really don't want to be institutionalized. I'm a senior in HS and I really want to get better already. I want to get better and go to college and have that fresh start i desperately need. I have GAD and a depressive disorder and for the past two and half months, I've been struggling with major depression. I don't feel like I've made any progress at all. It's been feeling like every time i took a step or two forward, i would move three or four steps back. I had to change my treatment plan during the midst of my depressive episode and i now am in in-home outpatient therapy, where i see my therapist once a week for about two and a half hours and i have a behavioral assistant who just takes me out of the house and is there to make me feel better. Recently, I've been shifting violently between anxiety and depression and have had persistent suicidal thoughts, which used to only happen maybe every few weeks during my depression. the thoughts are mingled in with other thoughts of wanting to harm past abusers/ bullies. i'm scared and i don't know if it's me or if i just need a better support group or what i really dont want to repeat my senior year and go to an institute. does anybody have any other techniques i could try on top of my treatment plan?

[CantExplain]

((fmorrow))

Have you looked on the Depression forum?

[RTerroni]

Just try to get through your Senior year and remember that if you choose to go to College that it will be a whole new start there (I kept telling myself that when I was a Senior in High School and it ended up being the case).

[coltranefanatic]

2 months is hardly enough time to overcome such issues that quickly.

[Arha]

Right now you are not well. You have an illness and need to allow yourself time to get well. Blaming yourself and thinking you should be better is a type of thinking I get stuck in too, and it doesn't help.
Would you feel this way about a friend who, say, had cancer and could not work? Would you blame them? I think you would like to support them and be understanding of their difficulties.
Give yourself the same support and respect.
You deserve it.
You will get better, but need time.
Take the pressure off and allow yourself to need time off and support.