[Raging Quiet]

T was frustrated.
I was frustrated.
I had to get up early and just leave.
She patted my back then slammed the door behind me.

If I could cry, I wouldn't stop.
I don't think I can face/want to go back.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

[kaliope]

Im sorry that your t session didn't go well. don't worry about it. t's are used to this sort of thing. going back wont be a problem. take care of yourself till then.

[IndestructibleGirl]

That sounds horrible for you I know you feel dreadful now, but don't make any hard and fast decisions about whether or not you can go back right now. You can decide when you're ready, after you have some rest and do something nice to feel a bit better in general, when the worst of the sting of today's experience has eased.

I agree with Kaliope in that therapists will be used to this sort of thing. It will be okay

[Karrebear]

what happened??

[Freewilled]

I'm sorry I've never run out of my therapy session but I spend many of them staring at the door. If your frustration is anything like mine during t, I completely get it. What made you think your T was frustrated? Did she say so? I often think mine is frustrated with me and he has confirmed it, to some degree, by saying he was frustrated along with me.

Do you have another session scheduled already or would you have to call if you decide to go back?

[Bill3]

(((((Raging Quiet)))))

[RTerroni]

Very sorry that happened, hopefully you can resolve things at the next session.

[Sabra]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

T was frustrated.
I was frustrated.
I had to get up early and just leave.
She patted my back then slammed the door behind me.

If I could cry, I wouldn't stop.
I don't think I can face/want to go back.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

Good evening,

I ran out of a session when T told me she was going to take leave due to medical condition. I ran to the bathroom bkz I thought I was going to barf. When I came out she was waiting in the atrium for me.

Several times I have seen where you have written that if u started crying u would never stop. I can promise u will stop. If u can have that release it is so helpful.

Regards,

Sabra

[ready2makenice]

I'm sorry you're hurting,I've been there and ran out my session as well in a rage,then bawled my eyes out in my car.

Can you tell us what led up to this? *gentle hugs*

[Raging Quiet]

Thank you for your replies.

I told her what had been happening (I haven't been emotionally well) she told me I was sulking, selfish, jealous,had no right to be angry at my sister, that I can't be bothered to change, that its my choice to withdraw, that I don't know what love is and had the tone of 'everyone's depressed because its winter', I tried to speak about a dream but she cut me off, everything I said she belittled. I told her my h has been dragging me out of bed (depression) for work and she implied it was my choice to be depressed. Her voice tone was getting more agitated: she didn't care what I was saying. I started to speak about Sui thoughts and she just didn't listen.

I was feeling ill and I can just about cope with getting up and making it into work. After 40 mins (out of an hour) of silence and being told everything was my fault and how melodramatic I was made to felt, I paid her, thanked her and said I wasn't feeling well and left.

It was 9 days since I last saw her before yesterday's session. I don't know how to leave her.

[nicoleflynn]

Therapists are NEVER supposed to judge and name call. She blamed and shamed you. Shame on her. you are a right to ALL of your feelings; they aren't right or wrong, they simply are. SHe obviously is not a good therapist and has no idea what she is dooing.

[Freewilled]

Raging - that isn't right. It's HER and her own countertransference. It is NOT you. Has she always responded to you in this manner or was it completely out of the blue? I'm proud of you for leaving.

Raging
It sounds as though your t is having a major burnout and is all out of empathy. I am so sorry you had to be on the receiving end of it AGAIN.
I REALLY think you need to get a new t because you do deserve to be heard and respected and not judged for feeling as you do. You can't help feeling like this. maybe t thinks doing therapy like this will be the push you need to get out of your depression but I think it is doing the opposite.

[A Red Panda]

Oh ouch....

Everything your T said to you/about you was wrong. It is completely wrong. She doesn't have a right to say those things to you. There is a HUGE difference between giving a client a dose of reality... and outright shaming them. What she did was used your time, that you're paying her for, to verbally attack you.

I wouldn't go back to someone like that. At all.

[blur]

oh RQ. i don't see how you can not leave her. it sounds like she just pours gasoline on your wounds. what are you getting out of staying with her? maybe if you can deconstruct that you can find a way to leave her. idk, just a thought. you deserve a T that cares not one who makes things worse.

[Mactastic]

How sad and hurt you must be feeling. It doesn't sound to me like this is worth sticking out, for the reasons people have mentioned. It doesn't sound to me like your T is on your team or showing you empathy. You have a right to be hurt. You may find yourself needing to work through this painful termination with a new T. That would be understandable. I think you deserve better.

[unlockingsanity]

Oh Raging

You deserve much better than this. This session, coupled with the others you've mentioned, just sound so terrible. You deserve to be better supported and not belittled.

Do you have any other options for therapy? Could you at least see someone else to talk through the issues with this T to see if it would be better if you left?

We often talk about "Oh, you should just leave your therapist." but the reality of actually doing it is so much more difficult.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

Raging - that isn't right. It's HER and her own countertransference. It is NOT you. Has she always responded to you in this manner or was it completely out of the blue? I'm proud of you for leaving.

In the last 6 months; she's been like this about 3 times. She hit a wall once.

Last week she was so kind to me - she's been so nice in the past. It's my fault, she's past retiring age, she shouldn't have to deal with people like me.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

In the last 6 months; she's been like this about 3 times. She hit a wall once.

Last week she was so kind to me - she's been so nice in the past. It's my fault, she's past retiring age, she shouldn't have to deal with people like me.

It's not YOUR responsibility to look after your therapist. I understand your thinking because I've thought that, too, but you're paying for a service. You're not paying to look after someone else's needs.

What needs to happen for you to feel safe in this relationship? What would need to happen for you to say, "Okay, I need to move on because this isn't helping/healthy" ?

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

.

What needs to happen for you to feel safe in this relationship? What would need to happen for you to say, "Okay, I need to move on because this isn't helping/healthy" ?

I wish I knew. With this new 'crisis' I'm like a robot.

[RTerroni]

I felt like doing that before so I know how you feel.

I actually did do it at the end of my "interrogation session" at the last place I was at, knowing that there was no chance that I would be returning there.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

I felt like doing that before so I know how you feel.

I actually did do it at the end of my "interrogation session" at the last place I was at, knowing that there was no chance that I would be returning there.

Thank you for sharing this, how long were you with your t?

I've seen this t for 6 years on and off.. I don't know how to leave. I have anxiety over her calling me if I didn't turn up. I hate letting others down.

[stopdog]

Could this possibly be a sort of "gift of the magi" situation where the therapist is staying because she does not know how to quit you and you are staying to take care of the therapist?
I would go see another therapist for help in leaving this one.

[blur]

RQ, one thing you can do if she tries to make it difficult to leave is just not to take her calls, email, etc. you can terminate by email and then block her email, or route it to the trash, and make sure her phone number is on caller ID and don't pick up when she calls. just delete the voicemails and don't even listen to them.

[Raging Quiet]

I was going to write her a letter (and post it by hand so I know she will receive it) which will ask her not to contact me. I hate to do it that way, but in session she always talks me out of leaving somehow; I can't say no in person.