[jesusplay]

Like I might get asked a question and I have no idea what to say or how to respond. Yet the question gets repeated and I have to give an answer I don't agree with at the moment.. 2nd therapist I've had that does this.

Omg yes! I thought I was the only one. I was going to bring it up with my pdoc/T next appointment. I feel like I am pressured to answer when I dont know how and the answer that comes out is not always what I really think.

[A Red Panda]

My T rewords his questions or gives me prompts if I'm not sure what I think about something. He doesn't ask the same thing twice exactly since he rewords it until it makes sense.

[stopdog]

I have told the woman to quit asking certain things repeatedly because my answer is not going to change or because her asking repeatedly is not going to cause me know an answer I don't know.

Mine does

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

Like I might get asked a question and I have no idea what to say or how to respond. Yet the question gets repeated and I have to give an answer I don't agree with at the moment.. 2nd therapist I've had that does this.

T will sometimes challenge me to try harder when I say "I don't know" by simply repeating the question, forcing me to think of a legitimate answer. Other times when her suggested answer doesn't correlate with how i'm feeling, I will let her know that I can't make or agree with that statement because then I'd be saying it more to answer the question vs. it being what I actually feel. Perhaps you could try that? Sometimes, simply saying you are not sure how you are supposed to respond to something will let T know you're not on the same page.

Originally Posted by jesusplay

Like I might get asked a question and I have no idea what to say or how to respond. Yet the question gets repeated and I have to give an answer I don't agree with at the moment.. 2nd therapist I've had that does this.

The first thing that crossed my mind was if you know you don't agree with an answer, it would you do at some level know the answer.

Perhaps you could say "My instinct/immediate answer is ______, but I know that isn't really it." That might allow you to reflect more on the question while dialoguing with your T." I know my T has really worked with me to get past the "I don't knows" and be able to find and look at the answers. Telling him "I don't know" for me has generally been a fear response, avoidance because I just couldn't face the answer, or embarrassment/shame about what I really need to say.

Sure, every now and then I truly don't know, but that's usually more a matter of not quite understanding what is being asked. Normally, the answer really is there, but I'm suppressing it for some reason. T knows that about me and helps me explore and find the courage to see the answer.

[Espresso]

Mine usually don't and I wish they would push me more. If I don't know what they mean with the question, I'll ask for clarification, and then I can usually answer. But if I just say "I don't know" or something, they'll often move on and I wish they wouldn't let me off the hook so easily.

[learning1]

I think it's not very good therapy for a therapist to do that. Do you think it's possible they don't realize that you don't know what to say? I don't know, it sounds more like they're being at least a little pushy if they keep repeating something.

I think what I'd do is to try to calmly explain (even though I'd actually probably be kind of annoyed) that their question doesn't make sense to me or that I'm not sure what the answer is... and then maybe start talking aloud about what I think they might mean, even especially if I think my guess is way off base, that way they'd know how unreasonable their question seems. Mostly my therapists haven't done that, as far as I can remember, though maybe they would've done it back in my 20's and I'd have forgotten. Sometimes if someone pushes me to answer something I tell them I'm just answering because they want an answer, but I don't really mean what I'm saying.

[tametc]

More than once I've said, "Could you ask that in a different way?", or "I don't understand what you're asking." And one of the things I loved about my old T is that he would say it was probably more important for me to know the answer than for him to know, so it was OK if I didn't share it with him.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

Like I might get asked a question and I have no idea what to say or how to respond. Yet the question gets repeated and I have to give an answer I don't agree with at the moment.. 2nd therapist I've had that does this.

One thing, I've learned through the years, is that being in touch, right here, right now, with any feeling, opinion, thought, is fundamental in being able to assert myself, know what it is about situations that leave me uncomfortable, and being able to express, whatever it is, that needs addressing.

On the other hand, about repeated questions: that can be your own Ts challenge? Perhaps, in not feeling heard nor acknowledged. ?? Not sure, I do notice, great advice given here, in how to address your feelings, while respecting the need of your t, to at least give them an idea that they are heard and maybe with their training, can use those statements to help you ?

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[CantExplain]

Madame T used to challenge my answers if she thought they were too superficial or came too quickly. I've griped about Madame T a lot, but this is something she did well.

[Perna]

My stepmother's questions were traps to "get me" so I did not learn to respond to questions, how to say what I wanted to say. After a few years my T and I decided I would not say "I don't know" anymore and that was very helpful. Both of us being on the same page made me less anxious that it took me a long time to "find" answers within myself and how to put them into words, etc. But I had learned T's questions were not like my stepmother's so I was free to learn how to answer them. If it is a question to me, about me, I want to be able to answer it.

[peppermint1]

I usually ask my T what he means by the question if I don't understand he will usally explain it alil better, if I truly don't have an answer then he says we can explore that that then

[unlockingsanity]

It depends what it is, but yes, my T will reword or re-ask, or keep prompting me for an answer.

If it's about something difficult, he will not push the issue.

[SeekerOfLife]

My T. asks me challenging questions when she thinks I am up to it. If I do not understand her, I ask her to say it a different way. She seems to know when to challenge me, and when I am not up to it.

[Auntie2014]

If I have had a question that I could not answer at the time The question has turned into homework to do before next session.

My T's stock response if I say 'I don't know' is a narrowed eyes, smiling, teasing 'yes you do!'

Sometimes she reminds me of a gleeful little kid playing the 'why' game