[SheHulk07]

My T told me today that he feels like we've hit a plateau lately, and he seemed frustrated by this. He also told me that I have a big disconnect between my real self and what I show to people, and told me that I want support from people but don't let them in. Thankfully he switched the topic to self harm and we briefly talked about that, and then set me up with an emergency crisis appt next week for a pdoc. But, I seriously walked out of there feeling worse than I did when I went in. I really like this T, and I feel like I've opened up to him more than any other t before. But now I'm worried that he's becoming too frustrated with me and will terminate. I don't know what else to do besides write him a letter explaining all of this, because apparently I suck at letting people in. I don't think I've felt this suicidal than I do tonight.

[Raging Quiet]

Hi Amy,

I can really relate to this as my t has said similar things to me. I know I left feeling bad about myself to.

Working through a plateau can bring about the best work; it can stir the emotions deep below because it challenges your surface feelings.

I ended up writing a letter to me t about therapy and how I wanted it to change, I also sent her a book to read to understand my illness (which she really liked) which propelled the therapy forward.

Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

[SheHulk07]

Thank you for responding. I wrote a letter to him last night, trying to get some stuff out in the open. I don't know if it'll be too much for him, but at least he'll know why it's so hard for me to open up. I'll probably try to give it to him when I go in for my pdoc session this week.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by AmyFed07

My T told me today that he feels like we've hit a plateau lately, and he seemed frustrated by this. He also told me that I have a big disconnect between my real self and what I show to people, and told me that I want support from people but don't let them in. Thankfully he switched the topic to self harm and we briefly talked about that, and then set me up with an emergency crisis appt next week for a pdoc. But, I seriously walked out of there feeling worse than I did when I went in. I really like this T, and I feel like I've opened up to him more than any other t before. But now I'm worried that he's becoming too frustrated with me and will terminate. I don't know what else to do besides write him a letter explaining all of this, because apparently I suck at letting people in. I don't think I've felt this suicidal than I do tonight.

Originally Posted by AmyFed07

Thank you for responding. I wrote a letter to him last night, trying to get some stuff out in the open. I don't know if it'll be too much for him, but at least he'll know why it's so hard for me to open up. I'll probably try to give it to him when I go in for my pdoc session this week.

I highlighted something, that stood out to me, where you mentioned hitting a plateau. Perhaps, it could possibly be, about expressing yourself, right there, right then, in the moment. Not after home, safe and sound and with pen/paper/keyboard/wordpad.