Identifying needs

My T wants me to identify a need I can work on in therapy. I wasn't too sure what I needed so i asked for suggestions, he's were a job, a relationship and soemthing else. Well I've thought about these and I think they are fine suggestions but I feel what I need is more internal than external. A job would be nice but because of legal issues to do with debtors I am unable to get a job that earns more than $100/week. I think I am over relationships and feel I need to get to know myself a bit better. I have T tomorrow and have no idea what to say to him.

think about a problem/aspect u want to change that needs to be addressed first...

I suffer terribly from anxiety it really affects my life in a big way but we've already worked on it. I feel terrible to have to bring it up again as I feel I should be able to work on this myself with the cbt skills he gave me a couple of years ago. He's a bit eclectic in his approach.

well if it didnt do much u most certainly need to bring it up. he needs to find other ways or probb practice with u. tc

I could really do with a little more advice here please. I see T in 4 hrs. Even if it repeating what someone else said. Thanks

Why not work on managing your money. It can be both an internal and an external thing depending on how you look at it. I'm just suggesting it by you saying that you owe debtors.

I imagine being in debt is probably adding to your anxiety? I know a lot about that myself.

Do you think you would like a more specific focus on certain skills to help you with your anxiety...did some of the CBT skills work better than others for you? I would definitely tell him that you are still feeling very anxious. I know how uncomfortable it can be!

The debts aren't really a problem as my pension is protected by law. Thanks for the suggestion though. I really can't think. I did some drawing while thinking about needs maybe I should take these, but all it is a set of stairs, a door without a handle or keyhole, a separate keyhole and a scene from a recurring dream. Maybe I should take this a discuss it.

BPA, I'm sorry I haven't responded to this before. I know you've already had your session and I hope it went well, but it strikes me that maybe the fact that you find it difficult to identify your needs is, in itself, a need? Maybe that is something you could work on with your T?

Unfortunately life is not like a workbook that can be worked through in order, a lesson at a time, etc. "Anxiety" is a good need to work on but that is too large to start with. I had GAD but needed to look at individual pieces of it. What in specific makes you anxious? Make a list and work with yourself to deliberately lessen some of those fears in literal ways. Working with one fear will help all the others and can give a sense of pride that you are "doing" something about your anxiety.

For example, I am anxious about my money management (I have had several accounting courses and worked in the accounting field, I'm not anxious about my abilities), my husband manages our money and has a very individual, complex system. If something happens to him, even though he has written a "book" for me to refer to, I believe I would still be overwhelmed. So, I am working with him, hands-on, getting experience with what he has done, what and how our finances are arranged, etc. A lot of anxiety/fear is of the unknown and being afraid of being afraid. Being afraid of other people and meeting and greeting them can be "practiced" daily by teaching one's self to smile and say "hello" to people one comes across out in the world. I start conversations with store clerks and get comfortable with listening and responding. I think of questions to ask reference librarians and the help desk people at the book store. I get out of my head, where all my fears/anxiety lies and "do" things. I spent nearly 10 years applying for and quitting part-time jobs just so I would get more comfortable with starting/quitting jobs! Think of what bothers you and you work on it in your own way and you get less anxious and get to know yourself better at the same time (because you have to talk to yourself/talk yourself into trying things and commiserate with yourself when things go wrong/are difficult, etc. :-)

Tell him what you said here. I agree with you by the way.