Are T's also effected by termination & do they really care ?

Some of you may know that my 2 year CBT therapy ended last week and I've been missing my T a lot. So I was thinking if T's are also sad when they say goodbye to clients (considering they must do it all the time as its part of their job).

Also, I've always wondered if they really do care about their clients after all they can't care about all of them, can they ?

My T and I talk termination a lot because it really, really scares me. We are both Buddhist so he reminds me often of the nature of impermanence, a common thread in Buddhism. He has told me that termination is indeed very difficult, especially with some clients whose healing is in the relationship. He has outright told me termination with us will be difficult, but he said it in a way that wasn't counter-transferency and didn't make me feel weird. I think he just meant he understands how much I will hurt, so he will hurt.

So yes, I think all T's must feel some twinge of sadness to terminate, especially for some clients that really bonded to them. Are you effectively done? Forever? My T has told me I can slow down my sessions so that I go biweekly, monthly, bi monthly, until I wean off. That comforts me.

I have never terminated (first go at this) but I can imagine your grief. Be well.

Ts are human beings too they can miss people just as much as anyone else. At the end of the day the therapeutic relationship is still a relationship.. both parties invest a little of themselves to make it work and who wouldn't feel anything when it ends?

I hope T can stay as a special healing memory in your life. c:

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

I believe they do have feelings for their clients, some more than others. From the therapists I know and my tutors who are ts it effects them as much as us the clients. They are conflicted with mixed feelings- happiness at their clients new empowerment and thirst for life and sadness at the loss of a relationship with the client that they have invested much of themselves in

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I believe the therapist, like most professionals in my life, are more unique to me than I am to them.
I think some of them care in general and probably most care some about some clients.

To an extent, but it's so common for them to lose clients they probably don't think about it too much. Just another day at the office I think.

Of course they care affected by it, although it may to different degrees with different clients.

Therapy is not an easy thing. A lot of emotion gets thrown about in that room. It leaves marks, hopefully good ones, on both parties.

I know she really cares, not only through words but through actions, she has made this transition with a new t as smoothly as possible , she didnt have to, as I found out she did it only for me, and the final transition is on thursday which she will make sure I am comfortable in the new t office and stay with me for 15 minutes.

She calls me to check on me once in a while without me asking, when I am distressed leaving a session. So yes, she told me she is human, and the hardest part of her job is terminations, and most of all when its premature terminations, no matter how routine it is in her job.

In my experience, yes. But not all therapists. Like with all things in life, I think it depends on each individual.

I remember I once read in a therapy-related book (I believe it was Yalom's but wouldn't bet on it) the perspective that a therapist first needs to find something, as little as it may be, something to love about each client in order to work with them efficiently. Now, I personally wouldn't necessarily say "love" - that can be a strong word - but it makes sense to me that unless the therapist cares at least in some small way about you, you will feel it and it won't work out. At least for anything profound it. I mean, I'm sure you can learn some skills in a CBT like setting no matter the relationship, but for deeper work that doesn't cut it - at least that's my experience.

I'm no therapist, but worked as a counselor and case manager in the past. I honestly did care about all of my clients, although admittedly I didn't like all of them. I still to this day wonder about people I worked with in my first job back in 1997. I hope things got better for them but aside from the occasional news article I come across on some who didn't do well, I will never know. Occasionally I see one of them when I am out and about, but it would be unethical for me to speak to them. I pretend I don't see them unless they approach me and then I am careful not to be more than friendly as, again, ethics come into play.

in the end u r just a client. they might be sad when u say goodbye to them but they wont endure it. they might remember of u caz they have another case thats similar to urs but they wont miss u. tc

In the end , I disagree because you cant know what another person is feeling or whether they will forget you or not, obviously you are not in their mind and body. I agree some therapists might not even care and forget, maybe as I said you cannot guess anyones feelings.

T's are human. They have thoughts and feelings. But, the difference between my T who has been through many hrs of analyst in training to become an analyst is she is able to process her feelings much better than I. But by the time I am ready to end (been 10ys so far) I too will be able to process the end without it disrupting my life. Without it feeling overwhelming. I think until we've done enough work on ourselves in therapy we feel any ending to overwhelming and are left wondering how a T could not feel like that to about it.
I think that means our therapy is not completed. 2 yrs of CBT isn't really enough for some. It certainly would have left me feeling overwhelmed at ending in the period of time or even in the type of therapy.
So yes T's care but not in the overwhelmed sense we fill before enough work is complete.

I disagree with you that 'all' therapists don't care. As sweepy has said, I too think some care and some care less then others, but they still care. Even if only a little. Just because you have had bad experiences with therapists, doesn't mean every therapist is the same. There are good and bad.

Do you think your T will miss you?

Yes I'm pretty my Ts miss me especially my long term T. She worked with me for eight and half years, she wants me update her via email on how I'm doing. So yes I believe termination can be hard for therapists also.

Some Ts will miss people more than other Ts.

It really depends on the personality of the T and the personality of the client. Sometimes the Ts will attach too, and they'll be sad to see someone leave even if they're happy that the client is doing well enough to not need therapy.

I think so yes. Of course it probably depends on the level/length of therapy. I work in a client specific industry and although it is no way similar to therapy as to the type of industry I have a client list I work directly with and sure, I think about people on that list throughout the year and wonder how they are. When clients leave I miss them and for a year or two will think of them. Something simple might remind me of them like their team is in the World Series and I smile thinking they must be ecstatic.

I agree therapy is a relationship and although a bit lopsided is still very real and touching. Sure, therapists have a greater experience with client terminations and loss than the rest of the human population but for every batch of clients that terminate after two or three sessions, in which case I don't believe they'd feel a loss, maybe regret/wonder of why the relationship didn't work but not a grief loss, they have a batch of clients in the one year + timeframe that they've gotten to know, understand and genuinely care about.

Yep I'm done for good & I'll never see my T again. Your T sounds amazing & very caring, I wish my termination was staggered as it would have made the ending easier.

I agree. Therapists do care on one level or another. Sometimes if a client and T don't "click" they may care less on a personal level but still do on a professional one. I think it would be hard to exist in this profession if clients were just a number to T's and even pdoc's (although less so with them).

I don't know why it would be hard to exist as a therapist who did not care. Certainly no harder than not caring in any other job.

Reading the posts in this thread have actually made me feel anxious and dreading the day my T. sends me away. I was surprised, but I guess I should not have been, at how upset I get when I think of how much it is going to hurt to never see her again.

At my last (previous) therapy, it went so well that I almost told her I loved her. Yet, I do love her.....respect her.....admire her.....I think I am going to cry. I dread when my day comes.

I am sorry for your pain. I kind of felt it as I read all the posts.

It's really hard seekersinking, I think about my T first thing when I wake up & through the day I wish this pain would go away.