[LearningMe01]

So , at our session this week T asked me "What I want out of therapy". For some reason I'm having a really hard time answering her question. When she asked, I replied "Well, that's a loaded question , it's kinda like asking me what I want out of life...because therapy is about improving your life..."

I asked her to give me the week to answer her, told her that I'd need some time and maybe to write a few things down. Thing is , I don't know how to put it on paper. It's like I know therapy is good for me...and even with everything we've been through in that room (good and bad) I would never take it back, I'm so glad I made the choice to stay when I didn't "have to".

I told her "I can tell you what therapy has done for me...but I don't know how to express what I want out of it." I don't feel like it should be this hard. I don't know why I can't just give it some thought and answer the question. I just know being in therapy had done good things for me, so I stay.

Anyone have any ideas how I might go about answering this question?

[Bentay]

Well I guess people enter therapy for various different reasons therefore what they want to gain from therapy also varies. But on the whole, i think people want to improve their lives in some way. Whether its to function at a higher level or to let go of unhelpful thinking patterns or to recover from some trauma or to be at peace with yourself it's all about getting better (so to speak) & being able to live life in an improved way.

[BonnieJean]

Healing and growth are what has come from it for me. But I couldn't have articulated that as being what I wanted out of therapy early on. It is really an individual thing but I would try to think pretty broadly with this. Like to improve the way I relate to people or my relationships. Maybe something along those lines but fitting for you.

Well I wanted to be able to have a healthy relationship and I had to learn well relearn how to relate to people again.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Tell her what you've said here. ThAt it's a loaded question.

[Auntie2014]

I agree that it is a loaded question. Add the word NEXT to the question and it might be easier to give her an answer. Good Luck!

[DelusionsDaily]

Maybe it would be easier to approach the question from what you want to work on. Then ask what the ideal results would be from the work you would do.

Ie: for me I wanted to learn to manage my depression. For me that means I have the skills to catch it early and slow it's progression. Giving me time to see pdoc and get med adjustment and have time for it to work.

[Perna]

I would start with a tangible incident when therapy has helped me, write that out, what happened, how it helped and what I felt and learned and then see if I could better expand on "that". Or, substitute your relationship with your T for "therapy" and look at how that is; what you are afraid of, what progress you are making "relating", etc. When I was first in therapy it felt like my therapist was trying to "corral" me, like I was a wild Mustang or something but over time I got tamer and tamer so when T held out her hand with a sugar cube at the end I came over to her readily for the sugar cube and then "got it" so that I could decide if I liked the person and judge what I thought were their motives and if I wanted a sugar cube, etc. rather than just running from everyone, willy-nilly. Perhaps re-reading The Little Prince might help?

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would start with a tangible incident when therapy has helped me, write that out, what happened, how it helped and what I felt and learned and then see if I could better expand on "that". Or, substitute your relationship with your T for "therapy" and look at how that is; what you are afraid of, what progress you are making "relating", etc. When I was first in therapy it felt like my therapist was trying to "corral" me, like I was a wild Mustang or something but over time I got tamer and tamer so when T held out her hand with a sugar cube at the end I came over to her readily for the sugar cube and then "got it" so that I could decide if I liked the person and judge what I thought were their motives and if I wanted a sugar cube, etc. rather than just running from everyone, willy-nilly. Perhaps re-reading The Little Prince might help?

Thanks Perna! Funny- I kinda ran from everyone "willy-nilly" before therapy also. I even ran from her "Willy nilly" for quite a while. And then I fell in "love" with her (If you haven't seen my many postings in the "romantic feelings for my therapist" sub forum) If I was going to continue therapy with her , I might be able to answer it better...thing is , she's a phd student and is graduating in less than 3 months So, it's kinda like she's asking what i want out of therapy in the future , after she's gone (which btw, opens a whole different can of worms...because I don't want to see another therapist...not right away anyway. I'll need time to grieve the loss of someone who is one of the most special people I have ever known) So yea, maybe if I was going to continue with her , I'd be able to answer better. But thank you , I can relate to a whole lot of what you wrote!

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by Bentay

Well I guess people enter therapy for various different reasons therefore what they want to gain from therapy also varies. But on the whole, i think people want to improve their lives in some way. Whether its to function at a higher level or to let go of unhelpful thinking patterns or to recover from some trauma or to be at peace with yourself it's all about getting better (so to speak) & being able to live life in an improved way.

Thanks Bentay! I gave her some answers similar to this , but it's like they weren't "specific" enough for her. She wanted me to elaborate on them , and that's where I drew a blank.

[LearningMe01]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Tell her what you've said here. ThAt it's a loaded question.

I did actually tell her what I said here...she wants me to elaborate.

[dark_sweetie]

UGH! My therapist asked this too and I gave some BS answer because the question made me incredibly anxious. It did sound so loaded, and she asked more loaded questions that same day, I think she was trying to get me to admit I had feelings for her, and I'm scared of our next session because I'm going to try to address that I think she was not saying something last week and that I don't deal with implications well at ALL because of abandonment fears.

Like, I'm paying you, it must be worth something to me right? :c

[Syra]

That's like asking "Describe the meaning of Life and give three examples."
Sheesh. I think I would rebel and not answer. I might answer related questions. Or I might ask her why she wants to know.

Even when I know what I think I want to work on, therapy is like a river - winding it's own way, and definitely not a straight line from Lake Itasca to the Gullf of Mexico.

[Elektra_]

u need to evaluate whats wrong in ur life or/and what u struggle with... u can check my thread "goals" it has a link with specific goals for therapy. tc