Session thoughts.

Told T about about how I had a dream about abandonment. Described the deep feelings of loss I felt. Unyet in my waking life I can't get to the tears around the loss I experienced regarding my having lost my birth mother.
T said "I think you do sometimes experience that loss but it's often blocked by all the damage done to you by your adoptive mother. Her abuse gets in the way of the first trauma.
I felt a little lighter hearing that. Knowing that I do to experience the original loss at times. Plus hearing T describe the 'double whammy' of loss, helps me separate the mess a bit more.
I think I shall draw some blue tear shapes and put them somewhere safe.