Have any of you people done this?
Was it helpful/ successful?

I am going to try work through them with t and I am scared of where it will go or will the feelings get stronger because t is encouraging them

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[melania]

I have erotic transference.
I didn't want to talk about it with my therapist but he asked me questions like- do you want to touch me, tell me about it, what touches do you like, how do you like to touch me, what do you want to do with me.
I was confused. I just couldn't answer. Even if I wanted I just can't speak about it.
When I was trying to tell him what I want to do with him here and now I just went crazy of wanting him, my body was burning. It's such a hell to want someone who you can't have.
And yeah my feelings became stronger. It's obsession.

But people are different. I'm just too emotional and sometimes I can't control myself (even in sessions).
But I would really like to tell him all of my darkest dreams about him.

[HazelGirl]

Melania, your relationship with your T is in danger of being bad for you.

MLS, if your T is ethical and knows how to handle transference, it should be something that can be worked through.

[coltranefanatic]

Melania,

I have been following your threads, one that ended in you saying you don't need therapy, you need your therapist to make love you to, and you want to die. You have also mentioned being suicidal.

You are not suffering from erotic transference, you are suffering from eroticized transference. You have gone way beyond the point where you have the hots for your therapist, this is taking up EVERY SINGLE thought you have, and it's unhealthy.

I suggest you find a new therapist.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Have any of you people done this?
Was it helpful/ successful?

I am going to try work through them with t and I am scared of where it will go or will the feelings get stronger because t is encouraging them

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I think it all depends on what you hope to get out of the conversation. Do your feelings interfere with your therapy and/or daily functioning or do you just have a crush? Do you hope that he will express feeling for you or do you want them to help resolve your feelings. I think that's an important thing to consider before addressing the issue. I brought it up indirectly with my pdoc and he seemed to discourage me from addressing the issue. I think it also depends on the T snd how much they'd want to change the dynamic as well as you.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I think it all depends on what you hope to get out of the conversation. Do your feelings interfere with your therapy and/or daily functioning or do you just have a crush? Do you hope that he will express feeling for you or do you want them to help resolve your feelings. I think that's an important thing to consider before addressing the issue. I brought it up indirectly with my pdoc and he seemed to discourage me from addressing the issue. I think it also depends on the T snd how much they'd want to change the dynamic as well as you.

Well I trust her very much and she has over twenty years experience. It is not a crush it was love. It isn't her I am in love with it was my first t but I notice I do get these feelings for all of my ts. And until I work through why I will keep falling in love with every t.
She has three clients at the moment who have these feelings for her so I trust her. She is very ethical and mostly she is ethical!

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[Mactastic]

If it's a crush, I say work through it. If it's an obsession I say work through it with extreme caution.

My ET was a crush, bordering on obsession. I'm doing better now, albeit very slowly. Things got a lot better after I disclosed my feelings. My crush hasn't faded but the shame is lessening, and for me that was the hardest part. Since I never really wanted my T in real life, lessening the shame has allowed me to explore my feelings for him and what they really mean in the greater context.

It remains to be seen how this will all end, but I knew that quitting therapy without disclosing my feelings was going to leave a hole in my heart that wouldn't heal anytime soon. I'm glad I made the choice to share my feelings because I didn't make the choice to fall in love!

Thanks for that Mactastic, what a lovely way to put it. I think I have to be honest about it too. I did tell my t but she terminated me and I am left trying to put the pieces back together now. I didn't mean to fall in love with her but I did and it hurts like hell, I wish I could be her partner but I can't. This t says she can help work through these feelings with me

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Just my opinion. I think you should go for it. This therapist seems seasoned and ethical enough to handle it. It's about trust and a big leap of faith for you. I'm pulling for you mls.

Thanks goingtogetthere I am really happy that she is so comfortable with it. I do trust her and it makes a change for me to trust her so much. I never trusted anyone as much before

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