Went to the ER, worst experience of my life

So after a lot of time hiding my feelings, hurting myself and thinking about suicide, I decided to run to the ER and ask for help like I was advised by other users on here. I was expecting to see a doctor right away that I could talk to, let all my anger and feelings out but instead I was taken to a mental hospital and locked in a room with a lot of crazy people for three days. Being in there was like hell. I felt like I did not belong there. If it did something for me, it was to make my suicidal thoughts stronger, to want to be death instead of trapped in that place. I was anxious, upset, frustrated, traumatized. I'm just 19 years old and almost everyone was above their 30s in that room. There were people in there that had severe mental issues. People were hitting each other, arguing all night, yelling and talking random things, threatening other patients and staff, walking around back and forth non-stop. We were given disgusting food. It was horrible. I was just discharged today and was assigned a therapist to go to. My therapy will start next week. This was a horrible experience but I'm hopeful that it will be worth it. I'm so happy to be home but I still feel like I shouldn't be in this world. I'm still upset and might cry all night. However, I'm looking forward to therapy. I am sure that it will help me overcome everything that has been going on. Thank you PC for giving me the courage to go out for help. Even though it was a really bad experience, from now on everything will be better.

You seem to have a good attitude, and a lot of courage. I hope all goes well.

My own inpatient vs outpatient experiences are like night and day. I felt inpatient was harmful to me, but outpatient therapy has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Hoping your therapy experience leads you to peace and health!

I strongly, strongly suggest that when you start with this therapist, you do some research into the various psych units in your area. That way you won't be at the mercy of random shuffling of you as a psych patient. There are horrible ones and excellent ones. Yours sounded chaotic. Was it a public facility? There tends to be more problems in public facilities from what I have been told by others who have experienced hospitalization in public facilities.

A good facility will be willing to give you a tour and talk to you about their programs. I've seen that happen many times at the hospital I use. Seeing this while you are healthy will help you in the event you need hospital services in the future.

I was very fortunate to be sent by my insurance company to the hospital I use. Because the hospital has a psychiatric unit, the ER are very capable of handling ER admissions in as respectful a way as possible under the circumstances. By the way, ER doctors aren't going to be a listening ear; they defer that skill to the psychiatrists, therapists, and social workers that run the units.

I am so sorry you had such a bad experience at the hospital!!

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I too have turned to the ER a couple of times. I was put twice in the high risk area and was afraid at times.

Good luck with the new T.

Thank you! Let's hope for the best

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Thank you!! That's promising to hear

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Yes it was public facility. All people with psycological issues are sent there and from there the doctors decide what to do with them. However the process is so slow and it takes days for a doctor to see a patient. I arrived on wednesday and was seen by a doctor on a friday so then he would sign to discard me the following day. Three days impatiently waiting to go home is awful!

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Thanks, it's fine tho I'm home now!!

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Yes I was scared too some crazy person would try to beat me up lol and thank you

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Do you have insurance? If so, work through them to see what facilities are covered. Even if you don't have insurance, you may be able to access a private system somehow. I'm not sure how the funding is worked out, but my hospital is in the Methodist hospital system and it does take patients without insurance. What I don't know is if they are medicaid or some other form of funding?

We also have a hospital in our area that has a holding area where patients have to stay (one large room from what has been described) before they can be admitted. That would be a horrible experience I would think. I don't understand why they run things that way. I think the philosophy is to weed patients out before they get to the admission to inpatient phase because they have such a large number of patients come in all the time.

In my hospital, it takes around 2-3 hours to get through ER. That is due to a policy that you must be cleared medically (blood tests, etc.) by a doctor before you can be admitted to the psych floor. Every patient sees their psychiatrist every day without fail.

Like I said earlier, try to research this a bit for future reference. Your experience doesn't have to be repeated if you can find a safer and more helpful hospital program.

I won't have to go back to that place, they assigned a private therapist somewhere else

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A therapist might recommend hospitalization at some point, but therapists generally have no hospital affiliation. A plan would be a good idea. Otherwise, if you are asked to go to the hospital, you will end up right where you landed this time.

Omg no don't even mention that, I'd kill myself before I go back there

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Thus the reason I've been recommending doing some research so you have some options.

Ok I will do it, thank you =)

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Good. Hopefully that will be helpful to you.

You know, people have the tendency to not really know anything about their hospitals. They go to the nearest one not realizing if they went down the road a bit, a better rated facility is available. They do it for ER trips, childbirth, etc. We go on the assumption that any hospital will be a good one and helpful one, and that simply isn't the reality.

My personal belief is that if you have mental health issues that might possibly land you or a loved one in a psychiatric unit, you need to plan for that. Real experience: I had fortunately done my homework about juvenile psychiatric facilities, and was able to tell the ER exactly where my son needed to be taken when he needed hospital services. The alternative, and default program, was very much like what you describe. I am so grateful that I planned ahead. My therapist was extremely helpful with this.

I am sorry that you had a bad experience and good luck with your new T.