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  #1  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 09:23 AM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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I have many gamer friends on my fb, and I have aquaintances, and then I have my friends, and friends of friends. I have 2 of my very close friends and thier close friends.

One of my close friends , which is her long time friend, has been my fb friend for about a year, I have seen her a hung out with her about 3 times, as she lives about 2 hours away from us. We sometimes like each others status, or exchange funny stuff on each others wall.

We have mutual friends, (this is the friend that lives 2 hours away) who is my close friends friend. Anyway, she told me to friend another friend of hers by going through her friends list. As I was doing that. I found a pic icon with a guy and a woman and the woman was my new t, the guy is her friend.

I text my friend and asked her how she knew them, she said they used to be friends in college,like 3 or 4 years ago , but since then they have not communicated.

My choices:
do i just unfriend my friend, without an explanation
unfriend her with an explanation

telling the new t is out of the question(that would open up a can of worms)
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  #2  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 09:32 AM
Anonymous200320
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I'm not sure I'm getting enough context here. Why do you need to unfriend anybody? Because you risk bumping into your T on her friends' page? There is a very simple way around that: block your T on Facebook, that way you won't see her posts or likes and she won't see yours.
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  #3  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 09:36 AM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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I think some anxiety might be getting the best of you. I had a bit of trouble following the chain of acquaintance you laid out, but if you are suggesting deleting a friend because they know someone who knows your T, or they used to be acquainted with your T, it'd seem to be cutting off your nose to spite your face. These connections are too distant and unimportant to unfriend someone. The odds of anything relevant to your therapy coming up in this chain of people seems remote at most.
  #4  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 09:37 AM
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HazelGirl HazelGirl is offline
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I would just not talk about your T or talk to her on Facebook. Just avoid her. Why do you need to block your friend? You would eventually have to block everyone because someone else might know another person who might know your T. Blocking your friend is over reacting, especially since she hasn't talked to your T in years.
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  #5  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 09:51 AM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon View Post
I'm not sure I'm getting enough context here. Why do you need to unfriend anybody? Because you risk bumping into your T on her friends' page? There is a very simple way around that: block your T on Facebook, that way you won't see her posts or likes and she won't see yours.
her husband is on my friends fb, its just an uncomfortable feeling .
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  #6  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 09:54 AM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelGirl View Post
I would just not talk about your T or talk to her on Facebook. Just avoid her. Why do you need to block your friend? You would eventually have to block everyone because someone else might know another person who might know your T. Blocking your friend is over reacting, especially since she hasn't talked to your T in years.
its not even the t, its her husband
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  #7  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 10:04 AM
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Petra5ed Petra5ed is offline
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I wouldn't unfriend anyone, no reason to. I'm not sure what you mean about not telling your T so it doesn't open a can of worms. Personally I don't see anything wrong with telling her.
  #8  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Petra5ed View Post
I wouldn't unfriend anyone, no reason to. I'm not sure what you mean about not telling your T so it doesn't open a can of worms. Personally I don't see anything wrong with telling her.
I dont see the point in telling her, i just met the lady, tomorrow will be my second session, I dont want to have to talk about fb. I just wanted to get an oppinion about unfriending my friend, maybe I just panicked, I will not unfriend her, if anything should come up, then it will be discussed in session, I think the chances of that are not huge, so for now I wont worry. I am just all over the place right now with emotions and stuff.
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  #9  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:02 AM
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I wouldn't do anything unless you think you really need to.
  #10  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:10 AM
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Webgoji Webgoji is offline
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Inappropriate but the friend of a friend thing was quite a web to untangle
I have a problem I think, I need your oppinions please as soon as you can
  #11  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepy62 View Post
its not even the t, its her husband
Sweepy, this is such a distant connection that you have absolutely nothing to fear. No reason to unfriend anyone. If it's bothering you so much, you can bring it up with your T. But she will also say it's not a big deal. I guarantee it.
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Thanks for this!
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  #12  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:34 AM
Syra Syra is offline
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Same thing happened to me. We actually have two acquaintances in common, and a friend who has an acquaintance with T's partner, who told me about it. I told my T about it. I felt uncomfortable knowing (and also a little liked getting a peek), but I hadn't done anything wrong, or even intentionally snooped, although it felt a bit like that. She agreed, and we talked about my discomfort a little.

I think she eventually changed her settings.

Not sure if that helps. I know you don't want to tell your T. Perhaps I just wanted you to know that your experience isn't unique, and if you don't already know it, you didn't do anything wrong.
Thanks for this!
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  #13  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:37 AM
Syra Syra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepy62 View Post
I dont see the point in telling her, i just met the lady, tomorrow will be my second session, I dont want to have to talk about fb. I just wanted to get an oppinion about unfriending my friend, maybe I just panicked, I will not unfriend her, if anything should come up, then it will be discussed in session, I think the chances of that are not huge, so for now I wont worry. I am just all over the place right now with emotions and stuff.

That was my reaction too when I stumbled on my Ts social media. I was scared, and sort of pleased in an uncomfortable way, and panicked. Your feelings make a lot of sense to me
  #14  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:37 AM
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BlessedRhiannon BlessedRhiannon is offline
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I'd just block T's husband and leave it at that. I don't think you need to unfriend your close friend. If your FB settings are for friends only to view your wall, then your T's husband won't see anything you post anyway. Plus, it's likely that your T does not discuss clients by name at home, so your T's husband would not know who you are.

It might be different if you were posting updates about how therapy is going or super personal stuff on FB, but I bet you don't do that. I really don't think you need to stress about this...just continue on as you've been.
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  #15  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:44 AM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Syra View Post

That was my reaction too when I stumbled on my Ts social media. I was scared, and sort of pleased in an uncomfortable way, and panicked. Your feelings make a lot of sense to me
thank you for validating my feelings
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  #16  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:45 AM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon View Post
I'd just block T's husband and leave it at that. I don't think you need to unfriend your close friend. If your FB settings are for friends only to view your wall, then your T's husband won't see anything you post anyway. Plus, it's likely that your T does not discuss clients by name at home, so your T's husband would not know who you are.

It might be different if you were posting updates about how therapy is going or super personal stuff on FB, but I bet you don't do that. I really don't think you need to stress about this...just continue on as you've been.
oh no way, nobody knows i am in therapy only my close friend, my family does not know really.
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  #17  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:46 AM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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I think for my sanity, I wont give it another thought lol, thank you for your quick answers i can always count on my pc family.
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  #18  
Old Feb 11, 2014, 11:07 PM
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Petra5ed Petra5ed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepy62 View Post
I dont see the point in telling her, i just met the lady, tomorrow will be my second session, I dont want to have to talk about fb. I just wanted to get an oppinion about unfriending my friend, maybe I just panicked, I will not unfriend her, if anything should come up, then it will be discussed in session, I think the chances of that are not huge, so for now I wont worry. I am just all over the place right now with emotions and stuff.
That makes sense to me. I was wondering if you thought she would hold it against you, and I doubt it, but I see the weirdness with it being your second session. I'd spend your money discussing more important stuff.
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