[AmysJourney]

I had a good session today, my therapist and I talked about this forum for a while, which I must admit bothered me a little at first but it was good after all. It's good sometimes to have her get me back to the ground by just stating the facts without emotion. And when I saw the facts, it made me see things in a more educated perspective and I knew what the best reaction to my problem was. So that was good!

Then we went on to talk about a very difficult subject for me, videos..
I have no idea how I not blanked out in the session, how I not went into my typical reaction of denial about it. I think I might be at the place right now where I can respond to this topic in an adult way. It's really strange, almost everything I experienced, I can talk about in a relatively distant way now. I can look at those things as being in the past and not here, the emotions are not as misplaced as they used to be - but this one thing almost always makes me space out. For a long time, although I knew the reality as facts, I convinced myself that it isn't true. He couldn't have possibly done such a thing!
One of my first therapist tried some kind of over the top exposure therapy with me (I was 21 then) and waved a tape in front of my eyes. I shouted at her that she was so cruel and that this wasn't one of these tapes..!
I stormed out like a child, I was ashamed and embarrassed.

So today, for the first time I was able to accept the reality and I don't even know how my therapist did it. Or was it even her? Perhaps it was me being stronger now and able to handle it? I don't know. But it feels like this was my last big hurdle that I now feel ready to tackle and I started with that today.

Well, just wanted to share.

[sweepy62]

Thats great amelia, so proud of you, your therapist sounds so caring, im glad you got through this difficult hurdle and your t was there for you, sending hugs.

[AmysJourney]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Thats great amelia, so proud of you, your therapist sounds so caring, im glad you got through this difficult hurdle and your t was there for you, sending hugs.

Thank you sweepy :-) I am a little proud of myself too, haha..
I think you were in my pocket today!

Love you,
Amelia

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Amelia112

Thank you sweepy :-) I am a little proud of myself too, haha..
I think you were in my pocket today!

Love you,
Amelia

Of course lol I had popcorn and soda, lol

[AmysJourney]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Of course lol I had popcorn and soda, lol

Ok, so that;s what that noise was, lol!!

[rainbow8]

I think you have a wonderful T, and I'm glad you got over that hurdle. Good job!

[Ambra]

Amelia I admire you, well done today. I'm so glad for you and your T is great. Thanks for sharing, and keep going!

Sending you tons of hugs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SoupDragon]

well done you

[granite1]

you should be so proud of yourself Amelia. I think you are amazingly brave