[ahdm]

I've written her a card, and painted something for her (A5) to say thank you in our very last session tomorrow.

I'm panicking that she won't like it or won't accept it, but I think my main problem right now is this:

Do I give it to her at the end of the session in her room? Or do I give it to her when she walks me to the door of the building?

I suck at making decisions, so if someone could help, I'd be really grateful.

[healingme4me]

Gut says, end of session. Hope all goes well, for you.

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[ahdm]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Gut says, end of session. Hope all goes well, for you.

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Thank you, I appreciate you answering.

[Truck33]

I would wait till the end as well

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[ahdm]

Originally Posted by Truck33

I would wait till the end as well

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Just to confirm - when you say the end, do you mean while we are still in her room? Or when we are by the front door of the building?
Thank you

[unaluna]

Leaving the building is too late. Even the end of session looks like youre trying to drag things out. I would do it at the beginning of session and see what discussion comes of it. The objects still represent your feelings.

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by hankster

Leaving the building is too late. Even the end of session looks like youre trying to drag things out. I would do it at the beginning of session and see what discussion comes of it. The objects still represent your feelings.

Thank you, I never thought about it in that way. I've got a few things I'd like to talk about myself in the last session, so I'm worried that if I give her the card and painting at the start that there will be no more time for me to say a few things I've wanted to say for a long time. Do you think I'd be able to give her the card etc at the start and still have time to say what I wanted to?

[owlpride]

I would give it to her during session because I would want to see her response. I would use it as an opening to summarize what I have gotten out of our work together and verbally thank her. To me, handing something to someone right when I'm about to leave away feels too much like running away - that's what I do when I am scared of their reaction.

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by owlpride

I would give it to her during session because I would want to see her response. I would use it as an opening to summarize what I have gotten out of our work together and verbally thank her. To me, handing something to someone right when I'm about to leave away feels too much like running away - that's what I do when I am scared of their reaction.

Wow - I really hadn't thought about the running away part...I think it sounds a lot like me and something I do a lot. I will give it to her at the start of the session, and just hope that I can talk about the things i wanted to as well

[tametc]

Originally Posted by ahdm

Wow - I really hadn't thought about the running away part...I think it sounds a lot like me and something I do a lot. I will give it to her at the start of the session, and just hope that I can talk about the things i wanted to as well

Sometimes, when I gave things to my old T, I would start out by saying some of things I wanted to be sure to say, and then give him the card or whatever it was, and finish up with saying the rest of what I wanted to say. Go with what feels right in the moment.

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by tametc

Sometimes, when I gave things to my old T, I would start out by saying some of things I wanted to be sure to say, and then give him the card or whatever it was, and finish up with saying the rest of what I wanted to say. Go with what feels right in the moment.

That's a brilliant idea Thank you so much for your help, sending all my love

[AllyIsHopeful]

I agree with everyone who said the beginning of the session or during the session would be best. It won't force you to wonder what her reaction was or give you any room/reason to analyze how she really felt about the gesture. Seems like it would add extra healing to the final session.

[CrimsonBlues]

Originally Posted by hankster

Leaving the building is too late. Even the end of session looks like youre trying to drag things out. I would do it at the beginning of session and see what discussion comes of it. The objects still represent your feelings.

I completely agree with this. I made something for my therapist-it took me months to complete it-and I was so apprehensive about how he would respond. I was tempted to give it to him at the end of the session and then run away! But I decided that I would need the time to talk things out, depending on how he responded, so I gave it to him in the first part of the session.

I wish you well.