[nottrustin]

I noticed in the Dear T threads that many people would send emails or letters thanking their T's. Has anybody actually sent emails that said just this??

It is not something I regularly do however, I have a few times. When we have worked through some very difficult and painful topics and I am feeling totally emotionally drained at the end of a session I have. They usually say something like "Thank you for all your help and being there during such a difficult time. I couldn't have done it without you"

Her response is pretty much "you a very welcome. I am always here for you"

[HazelGirl]

Sometimes, but not often. For me, it is very difficult to say thank you. And when I do, I normally get nothing in return, like she doesn't really acknowledge the thanks.

[unlockingsanity]

Yes, I have. If it's been a particularly helpful/productive session, I might pop an email over to my T and just say thank you for the session and explain how helpful it was/that I'm feeling very positive about our work, etc.

[Mactastic]

I have sent one thank you email.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk

[Sunflower Queen]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Her response is pretty much "you a very welcome. I am always here for you"

I also get the emails that say "I am here for you"... It makes my heart beat like a drum! I am always there for everyone else. When I read it and makes my mind go crazy over someone saying it or just reading it. I want to question her why is she there for me??? My T relocated to a different agency and doesn't take my insurance yet. I have had 2 months without her and emailed her telling her how I miss her and anxiousness I have been experiencing. Last Saturday She met up with me on her own time and agreed to help me transition over the next couple of months meeting up one time a month. I gave her the biggest and tightest hug I dont think I ever gave anyone else. I missed/miss her so much! The tears were flowing. The fact that she met on her own time meant so much to me. It was not a paid meet up either. I love her in a non creepy way. She is a keeper! I hope her agency will one day take my insurance and continue to see her more often. I am not ready to be done with her.

[Amandasmom]

I sent a few emails just to say thank you. She never responses to them. I don't know why. My last session was intense. I asked her for a hug. She was OK with it. I said thanks do much for everything. No response. Is it me?

I thank my T sometimes, in session (I don't have his email address, and I wouldn't email him for that reason in any case). He never responds other than with a small nod. So no, not just you.

Come to think of it, I have once sent a thank you in a text message, which he didn't respond to. But I wouldn't expect him to - there is nothing he could say, after all.

And when you think about it, a session that's intensely meaningful for me is just another 45 minutes at work for my therapist. I don't mean that in any negative way, it's simply a statement of fact. I'm sure he takes pride in his work and is pleased when sessions are constructive for me, but once the session is over, it's over.

[willowbrook]

Yes I've told my Pdoc when he's really helped in a particular situation and thanked him for it in an email. He hardly ever responds to my emails, because most of the time they're notes to help kick off the next session and don't require an answer. If I have thanked him, he will acknowledge that the next time I see him.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I noticed in the Dear T threads that many people would send emails or letters thanking their T's. Has anybody actually sent emails that said just this??

It is not something I regularly do however, I have a few times. When we have worked through some very difficult and painful topics and I am feeling totally emotionally drained at the end of a session I have. They usually say something like "Thank you for all your help and being there during such a difficult time. I couldn't have done it without you"

Her response is pretty much "you a very welcome. I am always here for you"

Yup, a handful of times. I felt like I owed my life to her. A couple times were through text and once in person. She has always been receptive of it and knew exactly how to respond.

[CameraObscura]

I just sent my T a thank you note. I haven't before, but if the work we're doing means enough for me to post about it here, it means enough for me to say thanks directly. I'll see how it goes.

[Sunflower Queen]

Does anyone know why they don't reply. Is it part of the training? The suspense of a reply that may or may not ever come. This must be part of the "TRUST THE PROCESS".[/COLOR].. Being uncomfortable waiting is not a good feeling. I miss my T so bad it hurts... The tears that you fall asleep to at night and can't explain why or where they come from. Why do we let ourselves fall to this level? I won't ever have a therapeutic relationship again. Just like I will never get married again a learned lesson. They say Live and Learn... I have... Letting people get close and then they let ya down ... Sorry having my written "Pity Party" over here.

[willowbrook]

Originally Posted by Sunflower Queen

Does anyone know why they don't reply. Is it part of the training? The suspense of a reply that may or may not ever come. This must be part of the "TRUST THE PROCESS".[/COLOR].. Being uncomfortable waiting is not a good feeling. I miss my T so bad it hurts... The tears that you fall asleep to at night and can't explain why or where they come from. Why do we let ourselves fall to this level? I won't ever have a therapeutic relationship again. Just like I will never get married again a learned lesson. They say Live and Learn... I have... Letting people get close and then they let ya down ... Sorry having my written "Pity Party" over here.

I can understand how you might feel let down my a T of Pdoc not responding to emails you send, but I don't think that's a reason to put a halt to the therapeutic relationship altogether. No Pdoc/T can be all things to all patients. He/She can't replace emotions or people you've lost, they can only help point the way to a better way of dealing and coping.

Just personally my Pdoc rarely responds to my emails. He's said he does read them, but he's never said why he doesn't respond. With me he doesn't need to, I know it's because he's really busy and he just doesn't have the time. I mean he's got his patients at the Government Clinic to worry about, he's also the lead clinician there so he's supervising other Doctors, then he has his private Psychotherapy practice, where he's also one of the supervisory clinicians, and then on top of that he has his hospital in patient rounds, and his emergency department work, plus clinical lecturing at uni, sitting on the board of curriculum, attending seminars and lectures to stay current with training, etc etc. With a work load like that I'm not surprised I rarely get an emailed response. The response is in the session when we next meet.

[Petra5ed]

I just want to throw this out there, but a lot of T's are probably hesitant to respond due to confidentiality and other reasons. For one, it opens a can of worms to have a written record of some therapeutic nature that could be hacked or found by a spouse or accidentally sent to the wrong person etc. Who wants to get sued for breach of confidentiality over an email mishap.

One other reason is that most of a therapeutic exchange is non-verbal, a lot of T's only do in person sessions for this reason. Email exchanges leave too much room for interpretation.

Finally, maybe (likely) you have an underlying psychological motivation for thanking your T, and them gratifying it would be a kind a of lie to you and not really beneficial in the long run.

About the lack of response: I read (here - on page 10 of this pdf) that therapists should remember, when clients thank them, that the change in a client's life comes from the client and not the thrapist, and so the T should not take credit for it. I think that's why my T doesn't respond, it would be in line with his therapy stance, I think. (There are other things in that book chapter I don't agree with, and I take no responsibility for it - I just found it when I was looking at literature on the subject.)