[nottrustin]

So T and I frequently have contact back and forth through email. It doesn't have to be a crisis situation but I don't abuse it. Recently I contacted her to find out the title of a book she recommended etc...

One of her other jobs is that she has a contract 1 day a week to see students at a very prestigious college in our area. We live in a smaller close knit community and the college is pretty close. This weekend there was a student at the college that died a very tragic death. I am sure that it will be very difficult this week at the school. I am thinking about sending her an email telling her I am thinking about her or whatever. She has told me before that she doesn't need me to mother her (she is much older than I am but I often worry about her). This isn't about worrying about her but rather that I am sure her clients at the school will be having a difficult week...and she says sometimes she feels the students are like her kids.

[HazelGirl]

Tell her in person next time you see her rather than via email.

[stopdog]

It would not be the sort of thing I would email a therapist about.

[AllyIsHopeful]

My therapist has told me the same thing. She said she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself and knows her limits so I don't need to worry about her. It doesn't change things! Do what you feel is right. If you want to say "sorry about what happened", you could. I think I might wait until my next session though and say in the beginning "I heard what happened, I'm sorry to hear about it." Or something like that.

Originally Posted by nottrustin

So T and I frequently have contact back and forth through email. It doesn't have to be a crisis situation but I don't abuse it. Recently I contacted her to find out the title of a book she recommended etc...

One of her other jobs is that she has a contract 1 day a week to see students at a very prestigious college in our area. We live in a smaller close knit community and the college is pretty close. This weekend there was a student at the college that died a very tragic death. I am sure that it will be very difficult this week at the school. I am thinking about sending her an email telling her I am thinking about her or whatever. She has told me before that she doesn't need me to mother her (she is much older than I am but I often worry about her). This isn't about worrying about her but rather that I am sure her clients at the school will be having a difficult week...and she says sometimes she feels the students are like her kids.

[Perna]

I would not tell her. You are thinking of her and you do that times other than when she may be having a difficult time but you do not tell her then do you, every time you think of her? I would discuss the whole thing with her in your next session, "I was thinking about you when I read about the school problem and thought you would be having a busy week and wanted to tell you. . ." If you think it through, it could be a bit intrusive; you don't know what her week is going to be like, you are imagining it. You are not part of her life and you are trying to be part of it without being invited? You have invited her into your life through therapy but she has not invited you into her life. That is what understanding boundaries is about.