[AllyIsHopeful]

Hi PC friends,
I have a pretty major chain of events I have just experienced in the past 4 days and they were big triggers for a variety of childhood traumas. I really need advice and to talk this through on how to approach this in therapy. I tend to go blank with the bigger stuff and this needs to come out, I'm texting my Therapist tomorrow for an appointment ASAP.
I have a way of telling my story in session that sort of undermines the severity of the feelings it brings or the damage it has done. So her response obviously reflects this and I leave feeling worse. It's not her fault, my nerves get the best of me and everything is jumbled, and sometimes the way I deal with trauma is by "playing tough" and laughing and finding the comedy in a situation that really has zero humor in it.
I need to try my hardest to summarize my story/situation/experience and hopefully receive feedback or advice on how to handle this. It's a fairly new topic in therapy, one that hasn't been touched too much because the subject is always changed.

If anyone is willing to help, can you please PM me? I think the story is too detailed to post public, otherwise I would. I would so appreciate any help I could get and could really use support right now. I feel like the walls are closing in on me.

Thanks.

[blur]

Originally Posted by Hopelessly Hopeful

I have a way of telling my story in session that sort of undermines the severity of the feelings it brings or the damage it has done. ... my nerves get the best of me and everything is jumbled, and sometimes the way I deal with trauma is by "playing tough" and laughing and finding the comedy in a situation that really has zero humor in it.

i think if you tell your T what you said here it would be helpful for her to know. good luck.

[Perna]

I would tell your story here, that will give you some practice stating things the way you want them to be before you have to relay them to your T as well as give you feedback.

[unaluna]

Just wanted to say, i had years of the "saying things funny" work against me. Ts thought things were rezolved because i joked about them. No no no! If they are still in joke state, they are definitely UNresolved. Hurt plus time may equal comedy, but not necessarily resolution. I dont know why ts need this explained to them, but they do. They get comedy as a defense, but instead of hearing whats behind it, they just say stop it. Well we cant just stop it, but my t has started asking "what is that about."

[AllyIsHopeful]

It's not that I'm afraid to tell the story here, it's just too detailed and may give away my identity to anyone who knows I use this site. There are certain threads and posts I've made that I've been pretty candid about and wouldn't want those people to see them. Especially my therapist...she knows I use this sight and I talk about it regularly because it helps me put words to feelings I find hard to explain. A lot of processing is done here...
If the story wasn't so long i would try to switch some details up but it just won't work.

Originally Posted by Perna

I would tell your story here, that will give you some practice stating things the way you want them to be before you have to relay them to your T as well as give you feedback.

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[monkeybrains21]

U should write down what u want to tell ur T. Make sure you space it though so one side of paper. That way you can give her a page every time u are ready. This will give you time to cope with the fact u opened up, and have a chance to work through a lil at a time. This makes u feel not so powerless and vulnerable.

I'm doing it right now in fact but I did it wrong. I write too small and did front and back. If u want u can give her all the pages just to get it over with. Then she can get the overall and work from there. If you T takes it slow with u then u will feel better that even though she knows everything now she can figure out her way of taking it slow for u on ur hardest topics

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

U should write down what u want to tell ur T. Make sure you space it though so one side of paper. That way you can give her a page every time u are ready. This will give you time to cope with the fact u opened up, and have a chance to work through a lil at a time. This makes u feel not so powerless and vulnerable.

I'm doing it right now in fact but I did it wrong. I write too small and did front and back. If u want u can give her all the pages just to get it over with. Then she can get the overall and work from there. If you T takes it slow with u then u will feel better that even though she knows everything now she can figure out her way of taking it slow for u on ur hardest topics

This is a good idea. If I find myself struggling too much I will discuss this idea with my therapist. I'm not sure if she will be up for it because anything I write down she just wants me to read in session. So either way I'm super nervous and want to stop reading/talking.


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[monkeybrains21]

I hadn't thought that my T might make me read it.

Last session I mentioned I had written it all down but forgot it in my car. Now I remember walking out and asking her if it made her curious and she said it did.

I don't think id read it. She can read it but if she wants me to read it I'll set it on fire or rip it to shreds

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

I hadn't thought that my T might make me read it.

Last session I mentioned I had written it all down but forgot it in my car. Now I remember walking out and asking her if it made her curious and she said it did.

I don't think id read it. She can read it but if she wants me to read it I'll set it on fire or rip it to shreds

That's exactly how I feel. I told her about something I had written and wanted to give her and she said "Ok, but I don't like to read and am not very good at it, so you're going to have to read it to me". (she doesn't mean any of this, it was her silly way of saying I had to talk about it either way) I immediately said I might want to just get rid of them, then.