TW mention csa

At the moment in T we are looking at my brothers abusive behaviour just physical, but I want to know if his behaviours growing are typical of a sibling.
When I was about 7 or 8 and he was 11 or 12 he would often straddle me and tickle me and I remember one incident where he covered my mouth and said that if I told mum something bad would happen. Also all through my teen years he seemed interested in my menstrual cycle and on more than one occasion he stood at the door of my bedroom while i had sex with a boyfriend, I don't know how long he stood there for. Also when I first started using make up he said I looked like a w****.

I just get a feeling these are wrong as I feel panic and shake when i remember them.
Thanks for reading.

[growlycat]

Maybe someone abused him too? It does raise red flags.

He was physically abused by our natural parents more than i was.

[stopdog]

I would find the tickling and threat usual between siblings but not the menstrual cycle stuff.

[growlycat]

Wonder if he was sexually abused or tortured in any way?

So sorry that he took it out on you, whatever happened to him it doesn't excuse the abuse.

[HazelGirl]

Yeah, his behavior wasn't normal.

[anilam]

Would you expect a normal behaviour from a physically abused kid? Probably not. :/

Based on the little info we have: Tickling and thread is quite normal. Listening behind your door I'd expect from a younger brother, not older. Menstrual cycle preoccupation seems weird. That's really general though- even tickling could be "done wrong" and abusive if the other person felt overpowered...
I wonder though, why ask? Do you need to feel validated in feeling threaten by his behaviour? As I've pointed out already we really can't tell the severity of his actions, only you can

[withoutthelove_]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I remember one incident where he covered my mouth and said that if I told mum something bad would happen.

Hmm, that seems odd to me. Maybe I've watched too many L&O SVU eps, but that isn't normal behaviour for tickling someone.

As for him listening to you and your boyfriend/s having sex, that can be interpreted two ways: as creepy behaviour, or as him "looking out" for you to make sure you were safe and weren't being forced into it.

Have you always felt panicky about these memories? If not, do you know what may have triggered you suddenly feeling panicky about them?

Ok thanks folks. I just need to check what's normal as my version of normal is bait twisted. I didn't know whether to raise this with my t if it was typical but I was not asking about severity just whether this was acceptable sibling behaviour. He didn't listen behind the door but stood in full view at the door.

[feralkittymom]

I think it's worth exploring in T. An older brother witnessing your sexual activity is problematic, as is his reaction to you wearing make-up. Do you know if he was sexually active at the time?

[withoutthelove_]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Ok thanks folks. I just need to check what's normal as my version of normal is bait twisted. I didn't know whether to raise this with my t if it was typical but I was not asking about severity just whether this was acceptable sibling behaviour. He didn't listen behind the door but stood in full view at the door.

If he was watching and knew that you knew he was watching ... that seems like an intimidation tactic to me. Just my opinion.

As with what feralkittymom said, his reaction to your wearing makeup isn't "right".

If you feel like this is troubling you or that you need to share it with someone, I would tell your T. There's no harm in mentioning it.

[anilam]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Ok thanks folks. I just need to check what's normal as my version of normal is bait twisted. I didn't know whether to raise this with my t if it was typical but I was not asking about severity just whether this was acceptable sibling behaviour. He didn't listen behind the door but stood in full view at the door.

Raising this with T is a great idea- no matter if normal or not you felt intimidated so go at it.
The door wasn't closed/locked? He could have been "just" curious being unexperienced himself.

I disagree about tickling. If you said no or were obviously uncomfortable enough that he felt the need to cover your mouth, I would say abusive.

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