So recently I began seeing a therapist for issues I've been having which I feel are stopping me from being the most successful version of myself. I am three sessions in and we have already talked about some very serious issues from my childhood as well as thoughts I've been having recently. Things like substance abuse, childhood trauma, thoughts of suicide and a general annoyance/disliking/hatred of people. I have had my suspicions of possibly ASPD, Bipolar, and/or borderline, but as I stated in my introduction I am no doctor so I therefore cannot say. Regardless, my therapist is new to working in this field and just graduated not but a year or so ago. It also kind of feels weird because she's only maybe 6-7 years older than me but not much more I don't think.

And during our limited number of sessions, I have had very mixed feelings with her. For one, I've felt comforted by the fact that she's new to practicing because I'm new to therapy and its kind of a beginning for us both. Then I felt that she was stupid and incompetent because she started off the first two sessions just staring at me, and talking to me in a low voice like you would to a child. However, I mentioned that I was annoyed by this and she agreed that she would try to offer more feedback without recoiling in shock/disgust or talking to me in the same manner. Of these three sessions, I felt that this last one was the best as I didn't leave feeling like an utter fool (perhaps only average fool). To be truthful I was actually feeling a bit relieved and was thinking I don't even need therapy. But after about an 30 minutes, I got this thing where I kept hearing her voice in my head, regarding something she said in session from when I was a child that is intensely personal and I couldn't help feeling anger towards her for wielding such information so recklessly. I felt angry and I felt that she was looking down or ridiculing me by using that against me to make her point. I heard her voice repeat what I told her for hours afterwards without being able to drown it out. I heard it all through lunch, I heard it at the gym, and it wasn't until somewhere about 5-6 hours later where it suddenly went away.

Needless to say, I recognize that she's new at this and I do like her, but I guess this is just one of those things that's going to happen once in a while given that she is inexperienced in practice. And not that I'm going to just change but I'd welcome opinions on how things have gone so far..

[CantExplain]

I never had an inexperienced therapist. Good luck!

[marmaduke]

I think you need to change your T

[LesFleursDuMal]

If you don't feel comfortable, if you don't feel understood, maybe you should change. My therapist isn't inexperienced, so I don't know what it's like and you have every right to think you deserve or even need someone with more experience.
However, I would encourage you to think about it. You have only had three sessions with her, that's enough to know if you like her, and you said you did, but it might not be enough to know if she can help you. So maybe you could wait a little, even talk about it with her and see how it goes.
Good luck, and I hope it'll be okay for you

[content30]

It sounds like she might not be a good fit. I wouldn't say she is inexperienced just lesser experienced. I'm in T school, and we have to do three internships. At this point, she's counseled for thousands of hours and already come into contact with the things you mentioned above, to some degree. The therapeutic alliance/relationship is the most important indicator of a positive outcome in therapy. So, if you two don't "click," then maybe it is time to move on?

[HazelGirl]

If you're willing to go through the bumps, having an inexperienced T might be a very insightful thing for you. Not easy, and it will definitely make the road a little more difficult, but it might in the end, be a good thing.

Originally Posted by content30

It sounds like she might not be a good fit. I wouldn't say she is inexperienced just lesser experienced. I'm in T school, and we have to do three internships. At this point, she's counseled for thousands of hours and already come into contact with the things you mentioned above, to some degree. The therapeutic alliance/relationship is the most important indicator of a positive outcome in therapy. So, if you two don't "click," then maybe it is time to move on?

Yeah you are probably right, but honestly if it doesn't work now I don't think I will be returning to any kind of therapy. It's been hard enough doing it at all, but I don't think I want to tell another person all that I've already said. I feel that the fewer people that know whats going on, the better it is for everyone.

[sweepy62]

Wow im surprised you are delving into serious issues just 3 sessions in, usually thats a feeling each other out time, but then again , you say you have limited sessions. Good luck to you.

[RTerroni]

My last Therapist was that (was only working as an Intern and studying for her Master's) and it didn't turn out very well, she kept telling me about possibly seeing someone else (when I didn't think that anything wrong was going on with us seeing each other) which I think is a big no-no when it comes to saying things to clients.

Originally Posted by RTerroni

My last Therapist was that (was only working as an Intern and studying for her Master's) and it didn't turn out very well, she kept telling me about possibly seeing someone else (when I didn't think that anything wrong was going on with us seeing each other) which I think is a big no-no when it comes to saying things to clients.

Why do you say it didn't turn out well? You see because I'm not sure exactly what 'good' therapy entails. It's like I had to go to forced counseling when I was a kid because I was put in a foster home, but it was only ever minor small talk about how school was etc.

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Wow im surprised you are delving into serious issues just 3 sessions in, usually thats a feeling each other out time, but then again , you say you have limited sessions. Good luck to you.

I was surprised as well, but I had gone to their office high as I just couldn't bring myself to do it on my own. And before I knew it, stuff just started coming out that I didn't intend to reveal. I told my therapist this past week that I felt I had said too much the last two times, and she understood. I also felt good enough to say what things were off limits as she wanted to touch on something I didn't intend to say, but reacted to her questions.

[brillskep]

Hmm. I don't think it's lack of experience. That might make for some awkward moments sometimes, but she could still really be there for you in any way she can and learn to help you better and better. My T began his practice when I started seeing him (I wasn't his first client, but I think I was his second ever client). But he really helped me even in the beginning and also as the years passed. Now, things like substance abuse require much more knowledge about drugs and their effects, but a good T will admit to their limitations and be willing to learn. If you feel belittled in therapy or not taken seriously, that seems to be the real issue. Therapy shouldn't feel like you're a fool. If you feel comfortable, you could tell her how you feel, if not, maybe change your T.

[brillskep]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

My last Therapist was that (was only working as an Intern and studying for her Master's) and it didn't turn out very well, she kept telling me about possibly seeing someone else (when I didn't think that anything wrong was going on with us seeing each other) which I think is a big no-no when it comes to saying things to clients.

What did she say to you, exactly? I mean, therapists are ethically bound to refer you to someone else if they assess that they lack the experience and knowledge to help you. Even if you might think everything is going well.
Don't mean to intrude, just thought I'd share that.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I agree that it may not be a good fit and some of these qualities could be present in her even after practicing for 10 years. I think it is important for the connection to be there and for the two personalities to work well together when working with a new therapist. They are often faced with new problems or situations and are still learning how to react as an objective observer rather than a human being.

Originally Posted by Hopelessly Hopeful

I agree that it may not be a good fit and some of these qualities could be present in her even after practicing for 10 years. I think it is important for the connection to be there and for the two personalities to work well together when working with a new therapist. They are often faced with new problems or situations and are still learning how to react as an objective observer rather than a human being.

See the thing is that for me it's been too early to tell if its 'a good fit', however I have few options as its being provided by my university and I have no insurance outside of that.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by I_am_pain

Why do you say it didn't turn out well? You see because I'm not sure exactly what 'good' therapy entails. It's like I had to go to forced counseling when I was a kid because I was put in a foster home, but it was only ever minor small talk about how school was etc.

I know how you feel, I was forced into counseling when I was in Elementary school and was periodically up until early on in High School, it seemed like that never turned out well but I think that was largely due to the fact that I didn't want to see a counselor/therapist when I was younger.

I wasn't put in a foster home but a good friend of mine was and he was also forced into counseling.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by brillskep

What did she say to you, exactly? I mean, therapists are ethically bound to refer you to someone else if they assess that they lack the experience and knowledge to help you. Even if you might think everything is going well.
Don't mean to intrude, just thought I'd share that.

I don't think that it was really a "legal obligation" at the time of her saying it, but more like her saying "well you know I don't really want to work with you just because so maybe you should see someone else", in other words don't bring that up with a client unless there is a serious problem that needs immediate attention (there wasn't at the time).

Originally Posted by RTerroni

I know how you feel, I was forced into counseling when I was in Elementary school and was periodically up until early on in High School, it seemed like that never turned out well but I think that was largely due to the fact that I didn't want to see a counselor/therapist when I was younger.

I wasn't put in a foster home but a good friend of mine was and he was also forced into counseling.

Exactly, so you see I'm just trying to get a general idea of how therapy has helped some people so as to gauge whether it works for me. I was just very hesitant as there is a stigma against seeing a psychiatrist, since those who do are either recognized to be women so it is excusable, or weak minded and pathetic men. And as you might imagine I have no interesting in becoming dependent on what this woman (my therapist), as I have already read about in certain cases on this board.

Instead I hope to use this therapist to fix things which are broken (figuratively speaking) without falling into emotional dependency on a person that I don't even know/or care to know.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by I_am_pain

See the thing is that for me it's been too early to tell if its 'a good fit', however I have few options as its being provided by my university and I have no insurance outside of that.

It's never too early to determine a good or bad fit. It's just a combo of logic and intuition. If you have felt awkward or bad more times than not, it's likely not a good fit. I'm sorry you have few options that's unfortunate. The only other option you have is to talk to her about it.

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Originally Posted by Hopelessly Hopeful

It's never too early to determine a good or bad fit. It's just a combo of logic and intuition. If you have felt awkward or bad more times than not, it's likely not a good fit. I'm sorry you have few options that's unfortunate. The only other option you have is to talk to her about it.

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Well I mentioned to her how I didn't like that she just stared at me through our sessions, and that she was very welcome to talk if she could. She laughed and said that she was a just little nervous and was also taking pauses to think of what to say. She then said she would offer more feedback as she said that she was also waiting to see if i was going to continue on with something else. That session was better though, as we talked more 'normally' but there were some wild guess being thrown out there on her part, like "do you do these things because of ____" etc. Now some of her guesses were spot on which was of great incouragement, while others weren't. Overall though I think with time we might sync up better and that will lead to better sessions.

As I've said before I'm just trying to get opinions as I'm certainly no expert when it come to these things.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by I_am_pain

See the thing is that for me it's been too early to tell if its 'a good fit', however I have few options as its being provided by my university and I have no insurance outside of that.

After reading your first post, I also wondered if your situation might be too complex for a new therapist.. that you might from having a therapist with a lot of experience dealing with the situations you've had.

That said, since your only option is a new therapist or no therapist, you may have to figure out how to work with it. I'd suggest paying close attention to when your instincts tell you she's in over her head. She probably has an experienced therapist supervising her. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her about your concerns. Doing that may really help you to trust her. And it will make her aware that for your benefit, she needs to be mindful of getting lots of input from her supervisor. It may make her feel at ease that you KNOW she is inexperienced and you don't expect her to know everything. In discussing the complexity of what you're dealing with, it might also be good to explore whether her supervisor would be available to take over if it gets to be too much for her.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by brillskep

What did she say to you, exactly? I mean, therapists are ethically bound to refer you to someone else if they assess that they lack the experience and knowledge to help you. Even if you might think everything is going well.
Don't mean to intrude, just thought I'd share that.

This is not necessarily true. A former T only passed me on when he quit, even though he said at the end that he didn't know how to help me.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

This is not necessarily true. A former T only passed me on when he quit, even though he said at the end that he didn't know how to help me.

That actually sounds very unethical of him because he was seeing you for a given amount of time knowing he did not know how to help you. It is part of their code of ethics to refer you out if they are at a loss or lack the skills for your particular situation. My therapist has told me this several times.

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[brillskep]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

This is not necessarily true. A former T only passed me on when he quit, even though he said at the end that he didn't know how to help me.

Well, many things are done that aren't okay, so I wouldn't take just the fact that something happened as proof that it's okay.

I don't think that a lot of stuff in therapy is black and white. It is possible for a T not to know exactly how to deal with a certain condition or problem but, with supervision and further study, come to a better understanding. But there are also cases when a therapist is just not equipped experience-wise or emotionally to help some clients, in spite of trying their best. Those are the kind of cases I was talking about (hypothetically), not minor gaps in knowledge.