Trigger warning!

I am wondering with all of the different clients and ts here how does your t act when you are feeling Sui?
Was it helpful or unhelpful?
My t1 was great when I was Sui, she handled it really well and if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here now but the other ts I have seen have not been so good and it scares me how they all deal differently with it.

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[Asiablue]

She aims to be in contact with me before it gets to the point of suicidal thoughts. So as soon as i feel really low or super anxious or just really crap, she wants me to phone her. The idea is that just having someone to connect with and intercept before it gets to those thoughts that it will bring my nervous system down. Also i suppose it means she can assess on the phone how in danger i am and arrange to see me for an extra session or if i need a Dr.

It's really worked so far. Just having someone to help me in those moment when things feel unbearable.

[Auntie2014]

We have discussed a safety plan so things do not get out of control and they have asked at beginning of session if I have been having any thoughts. If not we work on other things. One of the reasons for a mid week check in was just to let her know if anything was bothering me that could not wait till next session. Part of the safety plan

[willowbrook]

When I first bought up suicidal thoughts with my Pdoc he did a risk assessment, then told me to call him if I got to that stage again. Now I'm in pretty regular email contact with him outside of session (he rarely replies, but I send him notes to read) and he knows, after working with me for a few years now, that as long as I'm expressing the thoughts to him, that I'm okay. Then in session we usually concentrate more on alleviating the depression/underlying issues that are driving the thoughts, rather than just worrying about the thoughts themselves.

This is what I would hope for an extra session or some in between contact not pulling away from a client.
You need to feel supported and safe not a burden at times like that.

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[Asiablue]

What does your new T offer?

[healed84]

Before it gets to the point that I need intervention T wants me to contact him. Usually, when I am feeling really low, or the thoughts are more prevalent, I text him and tell him I need to talk, or I am feeling low and he will call me.

I can talk about it freely in our sessions without feeling like he will overreact and send me to the hospital. If things are really bad he always makes me promise I will reach out to him if I am feeling suicidal, if I can't promise that, that is the time that I go to the hospital. He tries to remind me, that he is always available for me to contact on his cell phone.

Originally Posted by Asiablue

What does your new T offer?

I don't know yet Asia but I am going to ask her! It is an important question to ask a potential t and especially when you have had Sui thoughts in the past.
We did talk a little but about it and she did ask if I was suicidal in the past.
The other ts I have had just told me to ring my doctor, this didn't sit well with me as I felt they were passing me on to someone else and along with paying them I would have to pay my doctor too

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[HazelGirl]

The plan is that if I'm ever heading back in that direction, I can alert her long before it gets to the point of suicidal ideation. That way, medication can be switched and possible causes can be examined before it becomes overwhelming.

[Espresso]

If I think I might act on the thoughts, I was told to call certain people. But I constantly think about suicide so maybe they would handle it differently with someone else.

[nottrustin]

I have only dealt with this a couple of times. We have discussed the deterrents and she knows that no matter what I could never do it because of my children....If I get to the point that I am thinking and not feeling safe I know I could contact her in a heartbeat.

[stopdog]

The one I see has talked about how everyone has some idea of an escape plan. I am not particularly suicidal, but I do have a great belief in my ability and right to control my life including how it ends and I have taken steps to make sure I will have the knowledge to do it correctly.
Other than the escape plan statement, she does not really deal with my ideas about death at all. She does not seem to have any particular response to my talking about it.

I don't have sui thoughts but my T is nothing like the nice ones you speak about here. He never told me to call if I'm in need. Once I hedged about asking for an extra session (because I was feeling really low) and he balked. I thought that's how all T's were. I figured they don't really want to hear from you again until the next paid session. But I see there are some other kinds of T's out there based on the posts here.

Originally Posted by Winterski

I don't have sui thoughts but my T is nothing like the nice ones you speak about here. He never told me to call if I'm in need. Once I hedged about asking for an extra session (because I was feeling really low) and he balked. I thought that's how all T's were. I figured they don't really want to hear from you again until the next paid session. But I see there are some other kinds of T's out there based on the posts here.

Sadly this has been my experience too. I am hoping we find one of these nice ts soon


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Originally Posted by stopdog

The one I see has talked about how everyone has some idea of an escape plan. I am not particularly suicidal, but I do have a great belief in my ability and right to control my life including how it ends and I have taken steps to make sure I will have the knowledge to do it correctly.
Other than the escape plan statement, she does not really deal with my ideas about death at all. She does not seem to have any particular response to my talking about it.

Do you feel she ignored talking about it or felt too uncomfortable to talk about it in more detail with you?


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[monkeybrains21]

My T tells me if she'd just met me she'd probably not let me leave. I am impulsive and randomly things happen when my stress levels have reached a pt. but she also knows I am cerebral. My brain doesn't shut off and I don't sleep much because if this. Since I don't sleep I get irritable.

She knows the probability of me killing myself now, instead when I was growing up, is very low. I'd rather die in a fight to the death fist to fist no weapons. She knows I specifically avoid all situations I possibly can that would put me in a violent situation.

My T doesn't get overly concerned with just thoughts and we discuss them openly, but there comes that point where that concern becomes clearly evident. He insists I come in for extra sessions, sometimes literally every day. He has me contact my pdoc so that med adjustments can be made. And he recommends the hospital, or discussing that intervention, when he is most concerned about impulsivity and safety.

[willowbrook]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Sadly this has been my experience too. I am hoping we find one of these nice ts soon


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I've had so many bad experiences with therapists (Pdocs and Ts), including being abused by one. I thought the words 'Nice Therapist' just didn't even go together. And then I found my Pdoc, or he found me, and he's been awesome. He's gone above and beyond with helping me and I love him to bits for it, only not in a transference-y kind of way. Good therapists are out there, don't give up hope of finding one.

My T will call my nurse or Pdoc if I am feeling SUI, My nurse visits me and will assess me, I get an emergency appointment with my Pdoc too.

[AllyIsHopeful]

My T currently says "You know what to do" or "You know what you're doing" to remind me I'm in control. Her most popular response is "don't allow it!" which reminds me that I am letting my depression win by thinking that way, and I should know by now that I am stronger than depression.

She has embedded this into my head since day one, sometimes compassionately, sometimes sternly. It has helped tremendously and saved my life a few times.

Lately, however, she has been super strict about it and says to immediately go to the ER, call 911, or call a hotline if I am feeling that bad. I think she did this to decrease dependency on her so that I have the coping skills and understand my options any time those feelings arise, long after I finish therapy.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Do you feel she ignored talking about it or felt too uncomfortable to talk about it in more detail with you?


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No. I probably would not have given her more specific detail. I do think the idea makes therapists more uncomfortable than one would expect from professionals. I deal with a lot of death in my part-time law practice. I think there are a lot worse things than death that can happen to a person, and I spend a great deal of time explaining to my clients why talking to their families and friends about how one wishes to go is a good idea so they don't end up with family members who create Terri Schiavo type situations.

[Tangerine87]

I'm often afraid to give details. I usually talk about my Sui thoughts indirectly. I think he knows I won't do it bc I've seen a lot of death in my life but I worry what if one day he feels scared and calls hospital. Or cops. I almost told him about a previous plan and then I stopped myself. Sometimes I want to tell him everything, how I've thought about death all my life. I've had about a million plans. but I know that is a recipe for disaster.

Originally Posted by Winterski

But I see there are some other kinds of T's out there based on the posts here.

One very important thing that this forum did for me two years ago was to show me that there are different types of Ts, not all of them were like the T I was seeing at the time. My pdoc turned out to be a much better fit for me as a therapist than my previous therapist was.

Considering sui thoughts, I mentioned to T at an early stage that I had them, sometimes, and he told me straight away that if I feel desperate I should contact him immediately on his mobile phone. It took me several months to get to the point where I was able to tell him about the actual intensity and frequency of these thoughts. He asked me to promise him to contact him first, and he told me that he trusts me to do that, and not to act on my thoughts. That he said that was what really helped me be open about this with him. He also encouraged me to talk openly, and asked a lot of tough questions - he has never seemed uncomfortable with the subject at all, which is also important. (exT did seem uncomfortable when I brought it up, so I mostly didn't, and she never said anything about what I could or should do in terms of keeping safe. I had no way of contacting her between sessions even if I had wanted to.)

The thoughts are much less recurrent and much, much less intense these days.

[Hellion]

Well if I talk about just feeling suicidal but with no plans to do anything, we talk about it some and make sure I have a good plan of action to avoid any self harm. I have not told my current therapist of being actively suicidal....Did that with the last one and ended up in the psych ward. It wasn't a huge surprise I kind of figured that is what would happen when I told her. So yeah I suppose how they react sort of depends on how serious your thoughts are and if you're worried of acting on them or not.

[Unrigged64072835]

When I mention Sui to my T, we go over my safety plan: crisis lines, go to the ER if needed, etc. We also discuss what may be triggering the Sui thoughts. Usually I'm stressed out or hitting a depression cycle, so either we work on stress management or coping skills, along with a short-notice appt. to my Pdoc to see if my meds need an adjustment. I do have his home phone number. He doesn't mind, but his wife is another matter.