I know most of you would never consider allowing anyone you know to see your therapist, particularly family. And most of you know my situation is completely different (although I really don't think it is all that unusual, just unusual to this group. I see a great many families participating in therapy together in my therapist's group practice through a number of different therapists, and I see the same thing in my Pdoc's group practice.)

My therapist does family therapy, couple's therapy, individual therapy, and is quite good at them all. When I started seeing him, it was just for me, but after a few months, I recommended him to my husband, and my husband still sees him regularly. Over the years he as also worked with two of our sons on an individual basis, my husband and I as a couple, our entire family group together, and various configurations of all five of us.

It works because we are a pretty solidly stable family. It works because we trust each other and trust our therapist. It works because he has a knack for working on our family dynamics while maintaining our individual confidentiality. It works because he knows us so well as individuals that he has been able to piece the puzzle of our family together and see where the pieces are missing or not fitting quite right.

A couple of weeks ago, our middle son came to us and asked to go see him again. I was so proud of him for trusting us enough to bring his desire to the table. I was also so pleased to know that he trusts our therapist so much to want to return to him for some "maintenance" (his word). He invited me into the beginning of his session this week as a way of re-entering his therapy. We all trust our therapist to handle us with care. That is cool.

I'm wondering if any of you have also had positive experiences with family therapy situations that you would share. I'd be interested in hearing about them. It is a division of therapy that just doesn't come up here very often and is usually viewed very negatively here.

[RTerroni]

I tried doing Family Therapy a few months back and it ended up in disaster, my current Individual Therapist says that she wouldn't mind if one or both of my parents came in to session but I am not sure if I really want that right now.

I would think there needs to be some willingness to be open to what is brought up at least.

[Perna]

Sierra, what's your therapist's degree/training in? I think background has a lot to do with how well things go with family therapy. I remember when I was seeing an individual therapist and in separate group therapy and was complaining in my individual session and my therapist started her reply with, "I don't know much about group therapy but. . ." and I was startled because I had not thought of that. I had an elderly retired GP doctor once who answered a phone call from another patient while I was there and they wanted her to do something with a broken bone but she answered, "I only got a "C" in broken bones" and that got me thinking too and realizing that just because they're a doctor they may not be equally good at all "topics". Someone with a degree and experience in family therapy is going to conduct individual therapy differently (I'd predict much less psychologically deeply and more practically) than someone who is just an individual psychotherapist?

He is a PhD, but I don't know specifically what his training is as far as specialization. His work is a combination of practicality and deep psychological work, both individually and in the family setting. Remember, he does both individual and family work, and he prefers to see family members individually as well as in the family setting, so he works with us on much more than a practical level.

[sweepy62]

I am so proud of your familys stability to do therapy together, I on the other hand could never, my family is do damn dysfunctional, and we are in different states, but when we were in one place, it was ingrained to us that therapy was for the weak, that is why I started so late in life, my siblings started late in life, and only had therapy for less than 2 months, they disclosed it to my mom, and were made to feel guilty and quit, because they were told they were disclosing family secrets, what a shame. Also my sister invited, my other sister into session, that was a disaster, as all she wanted was for my other sister to say I love you to her and display feelings, and the therapist had to escort her out for disorderly conduct , talk about dysfunctional, so I am the only one who has stuck it out.

[Leah123]

I just want to say I view it very positively and think it's impressive what you're doing with and for your family. I can't say I've experienced this type of dynamic work out in my own life, but I wish one of my awful parents had the bravery and humility to get into therapy with me when I was younger. So... kudos. I'm glad it works for you.

[tealBumblebee]

I've told my T that I do not want her to see my family at all and even blocked out my dads email address when I relayed a message from him, etc. My family is not as stable as yours and we all have different personalities (and we all know that) so not everyone would get along with my T for sure, and frankly, I don't think she would be able to tolerate them all.

On the other hand, I do plan on seeing/keeping her long term as long as I stay in the area. And I would be very open if I got married to having her as a "family therapist" of sorts. I love the idea and I smiled when you talked about your son because that is awesome and reflective of the kind of family I intend to create.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

I've told my T that I do not want her to see my family at all and even blocked out my dads email address when I relayed a message from him, etc. My family is not as stable as yours and we all have different personalities (and we all know that) so not everyone would get along with my T for sure, and frankly, I don't think she would be able to tolerate them all.

On the other hand, I do plan on seeing/keeping her long term as long as I stay in the area. And I would be very open if I got married to having her as a "family therapist" of sorts. I love the idea and I smiled when you talked about your son because that is awesome and reflective of the kind of family I intend to create.

This was exactly the case with my family.

[WikidPissah]

When I was in therapy, my H and my son and daughter all came on occasion. I think the difference is (like you said) we are a healthier family. I would not want to be in a therapy room with my mom, and I am willing to give my children the space they need. My daughter has recently told me she is very depressed about things with her boyfriend, and I am more than willing to bring her to my xt, or a new t or where ever she desires. I will go in with her if asked, wait in the car if asked or stay home if asked. Whatever she needs.

[nottrustin]

I have never done family therapy. My husband has been to a couple of sessions with me..and T is willing to see him individually. She says that would be the first time she has offered to do this with any clients but she thinks we are a great couple and she understand our dynamics. Hubby has refused though...he is will to go to my sessions to help me if I want but he doesn't want to go on his own. Two of my children have seen counselors but both of them have seen differenttherapists that fit their needs.

[Lauliza]

I did family therapy as a kid after I was discharged from an 8 month stay at a psychiatric hospital. I was only 13 but I liked the idea. Unfortunately my mother didn't take to it and both of my much older brothers refused to go. Sometimes it is the individuals involved that can make or break the therapy. When my h and I went to a session with my pdoc it was a disaster. My h felt my pdoc was really hard on him and too one sided toward me. When I told my doctor he first said hes always careful not to do that. But then agreed in my case my husband might be right. In retrospect it was probably a mistake to take my h to my male pdoc who I had been seeing for 6 months. think having family or couples therapy with your t is not a good idea. It needs to be with a separate provider who specializes in couples or family. If you ask, most say they do both, but only a few are good at it.

[stopdog]

I have never had an urge to try it.