I'm not sure if this is just going to be rambling or if it will make sense but I want to get it written down so here goes! As I was walking out of work yesterday after a meeting with my supervisor, I was thinking about how she always makes me feel like I'm special/important to her, and it felt good. And then it hit me. Wait - it felt good, and I'm LETTING it feel good and not questioning it. I wondered what the difference was. I have felt that sort of thing from others too but in the past had always cut it right off and told myself "I am not special".

What I realized yesterday is that by doing that I'd effectively shut myself off from so much in life, invalidating myself and also invalidating other people and continuing the vicious circle of my childhood. However since my experience on March 2nd where I was able to find and release a lot of pain from back then and subsequently forgiving my mother, I've become open to good things other people might think/say about me. And it feels good to know that. And I'm letting it feel good. Acknowledging my feelings, and letting myself feel them, took a lot of work in therapy but I'm getting there.

I have worked very hard in therapy overall, and it feels so good to say that indeed, this therapy stuff works!!!

That's awesome, artemis. Thanks for sharing this!

Congrats! Glad therapy was a good influence on you. Nice to hear.

[feralkittymom]

The realization seems so simple, doesn't it? Yet we know the work it takes to get there. It doesn't become real until the world shifts on its axis (so it feels) when really it just shifts inside us. Good for you!

Wonderful to hear!

[LesFleursDuMal]

Thanks for sharing this, the feeling must be amazing
Gives me a reason to keep on working hard with my T !

[unaluna]

I had a similar experience this week. I was standing in line waiting to check in at a medical facility, when the line got kind of blurry. So the person in front of me motioned for me to go in front of them, so i did. Not because im special, but because i didnt deserve to be bumped down, either, and i no longer expect to be horribly punished just for taking my rightful place. I was just normal in a normal situation. And that IS special!!