[nottrustin]

Just got home from my appointment with T. It was strange..not in a bad way. We discussed my work and my boys as always Work has been hell the last couple of weeks and I completely lost it it and threw a clipboard and started crying...

Then we discussed that my daughter is still waiting to hear from her favorite college and has been very stressed until she found out today that UNH has offered her a huge financial aid package. This lead to a discussion on family beliefs on education. Both T and I are the only ones in our family to attend college. Both of us also had siblings that thought we felt were better than them and knew everything. I asked a couple of questions and found out quite a bit. She has two older siblings. The 3 of them all have the same dad but when T was a baby her mom kicked out...mom remarried and she has a younger brother. Mom wasn't a nice person and she wouldn't give details about things she had done but just said they do not have contact..nor does she have contact with her older siblings...only with the youngest...Mom and older sister live in Florida which surprised me T is 64 her mom is 87. Mom never cared about education it was her dad that encouraged education.

Definitely a strange session where I found out a lot about her...she just didn't blurt out information I asked her a couple of questions. But I needed a relaxed session with everything going on at work and home...not what I planned but so glad she didn't didn't ask me lots of questions.....plus it helps me understand where she comes from when it comes to parenting since my mom was my only involved parent and she died when my oldest was 4

[HazelGirl]

One of the best things my T does is tell me about things that connect to my past struggles. It helps me know that she understands, truly gets it, because she has experienced it as well.

[nottrustin]

Because of this board I left the session if this would be considered crossing boundaries..she also told me in a few weeks she is going on vacations to Sweeden...it had been 14 years since her last vacation before this year....this is her second one this year but she has took her laptop last time but will not be this time....she has a new boyfriend and she has agreed to leave work her in the US....scary to think I will not be able to have access for a week...also found out that while she has this great relationship neither of them can just sell there house...he knows that her private practice is very important and she can't leave it... So it settles my worry that I might lose her as I have seen that she is so happy with them....

[granite1]

hi nottrustin. I think for the most part that your T can decide what her boundaries are for you . is she licensed and trained? I don't see her as misleading you in what your relationship is with her or you being confused about what it should be. I bet you are more worried about boundaries then she is. maybe write her some letters about your experiences during the time she is gone to share when she gets back. it might help to keep the connection when she is gone

[HazelGirl]

I don't think this crosses boundaries at all. If she spent the whole session talking about herself and talking about things she hasn't processed or dealt with yet, then I would see it as crossing boundaries. But this sounds like normal stuff to me, and nothing to worry about.

[AmysJourney]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Because of this board I left the session if this would be considered crossing boundaries..she also told me in a few weeks she is going on vacations to Sweeden...it had been 14 years since her last vacation before this year....this is her second one this year but she has took her laptop last time but will not be this time....she has a new boyfriend and she has agreed to leave work her in the US....scary to think I will not be able to have access for a week...also found out that while she has this great relationship neither of them can just sell there house...he knows that her private practice is very important and she can't leave it... So it settles my worry that I might lose her as I have seen that she is so happy with them....

Nottrustin, I think your therapist shows compassion and care for you by disclosing a lot of things to you. it also seems some of the things she told you are to reassure you that she will be there and things like that can help the relationship to stay strong. My therapist sometimes discloses things to me, funny stories about her child or something that happened when she teaches at the college etc. It helps me to trust in the relationship, in her and it makes it stronger.
I do however want to pick up on the first sentence in your post: Because of this board...
I think it is important for all of us to understand that this board is a mix of hundreds over hundreds of people from all different stories and backgrounds and everything on here - while very helpful and supporting at times - needs to be taken with a tiny grain of salt. Don't let what you read here influence you too much and rely on your own instincts. Take from here what you find helpful, and discard what you don't feel is helpful. If you had said "She disclosed a lot and it made me feel uncomfortable" then perhaps the boundary question would be more to the point and it would be a different discussion. But mostly I sense that you liked how much she shared with you about her own life and it seems what you took away from it was confidence and encouragement. So good for you and good for her!

Love, Amelia

[nottrustin]

It definitely was a great session. I helps me understand that while our childhoods were different they were a lot a like. Knowing that she does understand some of may pain makes it easier for me...