[Cherubbs]

Does anyone have experience with falling head over heals then *ping* it's gone the minute the other person has been let's say 'conquered'? I abandon people a lot apparently but the feelings just vanish so I don't see the point in pretending they are still there. Is that a common issue? I also occasionally have people feeling they are in love with me that I barely know. My T says it's a control issue and that I manipulate people's feelings without realizing it, I respect his opinion and follow his advice (to avoid hurting people) but I don't experience it the way he describes it at all. Anyone else have this?
ETA once someone has been in my life a long period of time I almost never break an attachment, this only happens with short term connections.

[blur]

I think what you are describing is just infatuation, rather than love. When it is primarily about the chase then it is really about us and confirming that we are desirable. Have you had any long term relationships before? Iirc, people can get hooked on the endorphins or whatever the neurochemicals are that get released in the early stages of dating so some continually break things off once those feelings are gone and find someone new to experience that emotional high with again.

[Cherubbs]

Originally Posted by blur

I think what you are describing is just infatuation, rather than love. When it is primarily about the chase then it is really about us and confirming that we are desirable. Have you had any long term relationships before? Iirc, people can get hooked on the endorphins or whatever the neurochemicals are that get released in the early stages of dating so some continually break things off once those feelings are gone and find someone new to experience that emotional high with again.

Thank you
I was married for 14 years and have only recently not been in any kind of relationship. I'm tired of the burden of them. But this has been a persistent thing, I never thought of it as infactuation but it does fit the bill I suppose! Perhaps I'll grow out of it yet, although it is quite nice when it happens and yes I like the early buzz of a relationship best, that's very true too. Hmm thanks for the response, definitely food for thought.

[unaluna]

I am like that. Its all about the chase. I told t the boundaries are there to protect him from me and my cold heart, not so much to protect me from him.