[brightspark]

I am very confused. I'm in therapy, I have social anxiety and clinical depression, and I think I may be slightly asperger's.

Outside of the therapy room, I am a recluse. I am terrified of emotional intimacy, physical intimacy and on top of that, I find socializing extremely draining which is probably my asperger's.

Based on my experiences interacting with people outside therapy, I would say that I'm not someone for friendships and relationships by nature. I just find it too uncomfortable and too much effort. However, my transference in therapy is saying the opposite. My relationship with my therapist is really important to me. When I'm with her I feel safe and my fear of being close to another human are gone. It makes me aware of how lonely I feel and wish I did have a real relationship, but in the real world outside the therapy bubble I have no interest because I'm terrified.

What should I make of this?

[struggling2]

your therapist has built trust and made you feel safe. there are also boundaries around the relationship that further enhance that feeling of safety. i think your therapist is your window into what a healthy close relationship can feel like to another human being. they arent all draining and bad. i experienced the same thing....i still have a long way to go but my relationship with my therapist is helping me to find and build better relationships in my everyday life. good luck to you!

[brightspark]

Thanks struggling2. I don't know whther I should discuss this with my therapist :-s or not. I made up my mind not to mention transference. I think I have managed to control it myself but if I mention this about me feeling uncomfortable with relationships outside of therapy but safe in therapy, it might lead to a discussion about transference. I don't want to lose my therapist so I'm not willing to take that risk.