[Daeva]

My T has two different offices, one at the college I go to (And thats the office I have ALWAYS seen her at) and one in the hospital where she's based out of for outpatient therapy. I have never been to the hospital office. Until today that is, school is on break, usually we'd just not see each other but we went back to weekly sessions because I needed them and so I also met her halfway and decided to get my butt to her office.

Well it was NOTHING like her office at the college, turns out she shares the office space with another therapist so when she isn't there the other T is. It was empty of everything but a filing cabinet, three chairs and a desk with a computer. There were no decorations, the walls were puke green, the carpet was that tacky grey carpetting that you find in offices. The chairs were cheap office chairs, plastic covered with carpet. NONE of my T's personality was in there. There wasn't even papers or a pencil holder on the desk. It looked like an empty storage room. I realized her real office of her own was at the college, I had always assumed her office there was more her 'home' office. But it isn't. The office she has in the college is a mix of low-tone gold and a burgundy red with vanilla candles and cows (her favorite animal) blankets, stress balls, little knick knacks, her diplomas.

She noticed the minute I sat down I was antsy and she immediately knew it was the change of environment, her office is my safety zone and I felt like we had been plucked into a new, unknown environment where I was unsure of the safety and security of it all. It was as if I felt the walls could listen to us, and I didn't want to trust the walls like I trusted the walls at her college office, those walls kept my secrets. I knew I'd be nervous with the new surroundings but I had assumed having my T there would stop the initial nervousness. It didn't, I didn't feel good about that office, it was cold and foreign. I suppose if I had more sessions there it'd be better, but somehow I don't think so.

It wasn't her, it wasn't my safe place and I honestly don't want to go back to that office ever.

Anyone have similar experiences?

[Asiablue]

That would put me off too. You'd think between the two of them those therapists could do something to make it a bit more homey?

[Daeva]

You would think! But I think there style might clash, and seeing someone else's personality in my T's office would be worse. It would be an invader.

[Asiablue]

yeah true. But i'm sure there could be some generic items to make the room a bit more soothing. Oh well, at least you don't have to go there often. Did you settle into the session eventually?

[Daeva]

Yes near the end haha, I just kept my eyes on my T's eyes. We got to the point where we can actually make eye contact regardless of my feelings at the time. So I just tried blurring the office out.