[HazelGirl]

I came to the realization today that I punish myself with guilt. If I do something I perceive as wrong or bad, I punish myself for weeks and sometimes months with guilt. And I can't let it go without feeling like I'm letting myself off easy. Anyone else experience this? How do you stop? How much guilt is good?

[silverleaf]

Yes I do this. I feel guilty pretty much ALL the time. A lot of the time I don't even know why I feel guilty. Unfortunately I don't have any answers to solve this, so I will be interested to read other people's answers.

[sweepy62]

I do this frequently, stuff I feel guilty for present and past, its such an awful feeling, and sometimes, when I feel a little guilty about something in the present, it magnifies it, because of my past , it mixes together, so I punish myself by thinking I dont deserve things.

Even the simple things, like people being nice, or goung out and buying something for myself. Its irrational. Im reading a book called getting past your past. Its been helping alot.

[Leah123]

I think guilt is super-helpful in life. I think guilt is the little Jimminy Cricket on our shoulder, reminding us not to slip up again when we do something hurtful.

I don't think it's good if we fatten little Jimminy up to gorilla size and let him club us half to death for not being perfect.

So, I'd say guilt is useful as a teacher to an extent, and I try to counteract excessive guilt with statements of self-worth, compassion, and understanding.

[granite1]

hazelgirl there is no need to do that to your self. my T once told me that you don't have to do that. that you can forgive yourself for whatever you felt was worthy of such criticism. I doubt there was anything you have done that is even remotely worth the amount of guilt you bestow on yourself.

[Beatzen]

I do it too and it feels terrible. I think, for me, it is deeply tied to shame and sometimes I feel guilt/shame for even existing and taking up space. It is then that I feel I should deprive myself- of food, of comfort, of genuine empathy. I don't know how this ever started.
Just a deep shame for ever needing anything. Why did I ever think I was worthy of goodness?

That's where my thinking guides me. I have to comfort and soothe myself because no external person/thing will ever fill that gaping hole except for me.

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[Aloneandafraid]

I do this constantly. I feel guilty for everything. And worry constantly that i have upset someone's feelings (even though I know logically I haven't intentionally) & I constantly worry that people don't like me & I always think I have done something to create this. I am known as a worry wart! I wish I didn't feel guilty for everything. I feel guilty about my sons all the time - for their exam results (because I can't afford a tutor/don't help enough with homework), for their weight (be cause I don't cook well), because of their friendship groups..... It is never ending. I want to learn how to not feel guilty.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I think guilt is super-helpful in life. I think guilt is the little Jimminy Cricket on our shoulder, reminding us not to slip up again when we do something hurtful.

I don't think it's good if we fatten little Jimminy up to gorilla size and let him club us half to death for not being perfect.

So, I'd say guilt is useful as a teacher to an extent, and I try to counteract excessive guilt with statements of self-worth, compassion, and understanding.

This made me laugh. I most definitely have a gorilla Jimminy cricket.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by granite1

hazelgirl there is no need to do that to your self. my T once told me that you don't have to do that. that you can forgive yourself for whatever you felt was worthy of such criticism. I doubt there was anything you have done that is even remotely worth the amount of guilt you bestow on yourself.

I think part of it is that I feel like if I punish myself super harshly right now, I will make sure it never happens again. But I think I know where that comes from...

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Beatzen

I do it too and it feels terrible. I think, for me, it is deeply tied to shame and sometimes I feel guilt/shame for even existing and taking up space. It is then that I feel I should deprive myself- of food, of comfort, of genuine empathy. I don't know how this ever started.
Just a deep shame for ever needing anything. Why did I ever think I was worthy of goodness?

That's where my thinking guides me. I have to comfort and soothe myself because no external person/thing will ever fill that gaping hole except for me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Definitely tied to shame for me as well. I hate "inconveniencing" people or needing anything.