[GenCat]

What are somethings you do to help you stop thinking and obsessing over your T? Ive had a really bad day and have just wanted to see her and to have her hold me and tell me everything will be okay.

[RTerroni]

I know the feeling, I just like to go on her and talk to other people about Therapy to pass the time.

[stopdog]

I don't. But in general if I need to get my mind off of something, I exercise, get with friends, play with my animals, volunteer to do something like habitat for humanity or soup kitchen - things like that.

[Leah123]

I use DBT a bit, and my workbook has a long list of distractors, including things like:

Writing a letter to get emotions out of my system
Seeing a movie
Sex (solo or partnered)
Doing a task attentively, like meditating on each step in cooking your favorite dinner
Dancing to a song you love
Finding someone who needs support (like maybe searching this board and seeing where you might be able to contribute)

Also, DBT focuses on mindfulness, part of which is being aware that all emotions pass, and your emotions are just information, you can still act in spite of them, you can do things to change the situation, to lessen its impact. In other words, just accepting your feelings and watching them like a stormy sky, as the clouds of emotion move through the sky, without letting them panic you can help.

[rainbow8]

I have a lot of experience in obsessing about my Ts, and also experience in trying NOT to obsess about them so much. Sometimes it helps to LET yourself think about your T instead of trying to stop it. You can give yourself a time period, say 30 minutes, where you can have all the fantasies you want. I will think about all the good feelings I have when I'm with her, and sometimes I'll read over old emails T and I used to exchange. You could journal, or email her and don't send it. I forgot if she allows emails or not.

Then, when time's up, find something active to do. Something physically or emotionally active! If you have a hobby that you like, it's a good distraction. Or read a book or watch a video that you can get involved in. Often doing something with other people helps because I'm not going to talk about my T with them. Or, sometimes it helps to come on here and talk about T, or read other threads and respond.

I think the key is to get involved with other people and with other activities that require your full concentration. I often say to myself at the end of an outing or something, "Hey, I didn't think of T at all!" Or, if I did, I don't punish myself. Like Leah said, and I've taken DBT too, just let the feelings come, don't push them away, but don't hold onto them either. They will pass.

[melania]

Getting drunk with unknown people.
But it's not good thing.

[sweepy62]

Im sorry you are going through this, im not at that stage, I have missed a t in between sessions, but not for more than a little while, what I do is, just read, or draw, build lego sets the 600 piece ones, that keeps me busy.