[silverleaf]

So I've been in therapy for only 10 sessions, I get on really well with my T and I think we've covered some fairly intense topics. Usually I feel quite 'raw' and vulnerable after session but today I feel absolutely drained. It was quite a tough session for me because of what we were discussing, and I've had a tough week so that didn't help either.

I think I'm just beginning to see what a slog it will be until I feel 'better' (if that can ever really be defined) and potentially how keeping up the changes I'm making is something that I have to do as a life-long thing. There's no magic button that will instantly make me feel normal! My T says that he can see the changes that are happening to me even if I can't, and he's confident that the pace we're going at is ok, and that things will carry on improving for me. I don't really know what the point of this post is but just felt like I needed to get it out of my system a bit! As much as I worry that 'this is it' and I'm going to feel as low about myself and my future for ever, I'm hoping that by doing the 'right' things for me like taking my meds and going to therapy, I will be able to continue the change.

How long into the 'Therapy journey' did you realise that changes had been made and you were improving? And did you ever feel just completely exhausted by the whole thing!?

[SoupDragon]

Yes l have and still do find therapy very hard, (l must have more "l am going to quit therapy" posts on here than anyone ).

I think it has only been this year that I have started to accept that things have improved for me, that I am in someway different, that there have been some real changes in me.

That is after 4 years of seeing my T and never having seen one before.

At those difficult times as well as getting fab support and encouragement from PC, I also gritted my teeth kept plodding and reminded myself to have faith in the process.

Well done for showing real commitment to improve life for yourself Soup

[HealingTimes]

I have been in therapy for 4 years and its only been in the last 18 months that I have really been able to see a difference.
Maybe the changes were happening but I wasn't aware of them until now.

[Aloneandafraid]

I've been seeing someone for almost a year and it is only in the past few weeks that I have noticed real pain/vulnerability. It would be very easy to quit right now but I think I am just beginning to talk about the really important/deep issues so although it's painful, draining and extremely challenging, I will continue.

It hasn't helped that my T referred to our 50 minute weekly sessions as 'a luxury' this week after I told her that I didn't think 50 mins was enough! I feel,hurt and embarrassed now. but will,still continue as I think this might actually bring us closer together in some bizarre way and hopefully might enable us to connect a bit more. I'm always hopeful!

I can't imagine starting with anyone else now,I have come this far with this T but it is really draining. Good luck. Keep going!

[silverleaf]

Thanks for the replies. I feel even worse today if anything!! I think yesterday's session was tough in a way more than I was expecting. I still feel totally raw. We were discussing something that I was/am having a very hard time accepting happened to me. I think I reached the point of accepting it last night and it's just the fallout from that (I hope). Just have to keep thinking forward to the time when I might feel ok about myself I guess.