[grimtopaz]

I have been seeing a CBT/Schema Therapy psychologist for the past year.

She has never brought up the therapeutic relationship except to say that I jump to negative conclusions when she makes neutral statements, and I tend to do the same with other people.

For those of you who have CBT therapists, has there been a benefit to bringing up fears/impression/feelings as they relate to the therapeutic alliance. I know CBT'ers don't make "transference interpretations", but I'm sure they are trained to handle patient reactions to them.

Furthermore, if any of you have experienced feelings of attraction, how was that handled?

[shabur]

I haven't ever been attracted to my therapist, but I consider the relationships with my pdoc and tdoc my most important so I try to be honest with both of them. I don't believe we are able to achieve the full effect of therapy if we aren't honest with our Ts.

Good Luck!

[growlycat]

Yes on both counts!

CBT T is an attractive man. Very hard for me to ignore it, haven't brought it up, and I may never bring it up.

I have spoken to him about the working relationship, and after this week's miscommunication, I'm sure we will again.

I have a psychodynamic T also, and it is easier talking about the relationship with him than w/CBT T.

Apparently my T practices CBT and I didn't know until like a few weeks ago. Now I'm wishing it was more psychodynamic...and maybe that's why I am struggling so much to discuss my transference with him.

He took it very well, was flattered, and did not want to refer me to someone else. That's it, though. No analyzing anything like I was hoping for. I'm starting to wonder if maybe he lied when he said he had experience with this, haha. Sure doesn't seem like it.

[allme]

Well I had a terrible experience with my CBT t, I told him I had feelings for him, he then told me he felt the same way and we kissed. Needless to say the whole thing didn't end too well and I went through hell. He had NO IDEA how to handle any of it.

[HealingTimes]

In my experience with CBT T's, they are not very open to discussing transference.

[Daisymay]

My T was a CBT therapist. For a long time I had very painful transference feelings (maternal) for her. It was utter agony and at the time I didn't know why I was suffering. For various reasons I contacted another therapist for help and she explained the whole thing about transference to me. It all made perfect sense of everything and I was able to work my way very slowly through it all. But when I went back to the first T and tried to discuss this with her (it was about her afterall) she told me she didn't "believe in transference". She actually said my reaction was a kind of OCD. So all very, very unhelpful.

It may have just been her. And I can't for the life of me understand why she couldn't see it and accept it.

For anyone suffering though, hold tight, it does change and you will be in a better and stronger place in time.

[Lauliza]

My psychiatrist leans toward CBT when he does therapy and I have had major attraction to him. After a few years finally brought it up, but in a non direct way. I been with him since marital troubles started 5 years ago. I wont go into the whole thing, but I almost divorced and due to our family situation decided to stay married.

So recently, I told him I was attracted to a man, but that I didn't think this man was aware of it. I wanted to know if I should tell this man or just let it be, because an affair was out of the question.

So he then asked what I hoped to get out of the conversation if I were to confront this person. He asked if I wanted to stop talking to this person, and I said no. I did mention I thought I was obsessing a little and he told me that so long as I was functioning normally in the rest of my life it was ok. He thought I shouldn't look at it so negatively by calling it "obsessing". He felt a fantasy was healthy. He said I should enjoy the attraction and even flirt a little if I want to. That these are all good things. That was it and I felt so relieved afterward. I didn't have a desire to analyze it further than this, I didn't see the point. In my case at least, attraction is attraction - it's pretty straightforward.

Also, I think that given his style, if I had gone on to say it was him and wanted to work through it, I don't think the outcome would have been as smooth (which is probably the CBT thing and also just who he is). But this was very helpful and for me was a great response from him. It normalized and de-escalated my feelings a bit and put them in perspective.

[nicoleflynn]

Fell in love with my t 10 years ago, told him about it; discussed it in depth many times; feelings still the same; so long a story.

Originally Posted by Daisymay

My T was a CBT therapist. For a long time I had very painful transference feelings (maternal) for her. It was utter agony and at the time I didn't know why I was suffering. For various reasons I contacted another therapist for help and she explained the whole thing about transference to me. It all made perfect sense of everything and I was able to work my way very slowly through it all. But when I went back to the first T and tried to discuss this with her (it was about her afterall) she told me she didn't "believe in transference". She actually said my reaction was a kind of OCD. So all very, very unhelpful.

It may have just been her. And I can't for the life of me understand why she couldn't see it and accept it.

For anyone suffering though, hold tight, it does change and you will be in a better and stronger place in time.

A kind of OCD?? That sounds so damn insulting...I can't believe the nerve of some T's out there.

[Crescent Moon]

Good luck trying to get a CBT to discuss, understand, or help with transference.

My first T was CBT and it was a disaster becaut I needed to experience parental tranaference to heal. Thank God my 2nd T was an expert at encouraging and managing the transference.