Confusing session

I need some help figuring out what happened during my session last night. I was nervous before we started but thats normal and usually once we start talking it goes away. Its started fine with the normal “hi how are you?” T said he was sick so I offered to switch to a different day but our schedules didn’t match up so we went ahead with the session. He always asks whats on my mind and I usually have something to talk about but this time it took about 20mins to find something and it wasn’t that important. It just snowballed after that. My brain just shut off, I couldn’t find any answers to his questions. All I could think about was stopping and feeling like I was wasting his time. I had this overwhelming sadness and then anger at myself for being sad. I stopped the session at that point. I don’t know what happened. It was weird. It hasn’t happened before. I brushed it off and told him i was just stuck in my head and couldn’t find any words but I think it was more than that.

I wasn't there so I can't be sure but it sounds like maybe you were feeding off your T's low energy because he was sick?

If you're allowed to email, maybe getting your feelings off your chest might help. I'm sorry you had a crappy session, we all know those are the worst

Did you maybe feel guilty for it? Like because you didn't have something to talk about, you felt like you were wasting his time and so that made you sad and angry?

I don't want to write him and talk about it. I don't want to make him feel bad. He's already apologized yesterday that the session didn't work out.

I think your right. I didn't have anything to talk about and was going to just ask him to start the session but them he said he was sick. I guess I felt like he was doing me a favor but didn't really want to be there.

I really think that although you may not want to bring it up, it would be very helpful for you to do so, and hear what he has to say.

I know your right but I don't know how to bring it up. I feel silly now.

I can understand that, but if you just say "hey, last week felt weird to me because a, b, c" it will help.