working through

MASIMO · Apr 27, 2014 at 05:38 PM

How do you work through feelings of love and Attachment when being involuntarily terminated.
I simply don't see how one can't do this with a long term therapeutic relationship.
It's almost disrespectful to think I can dismiss my Pain as something that can be wished away..
Yet I Feel like this is what is expected of me .

HazelGirl · Apr 27, 2014 at 06:46 PM

If I remember correctly, your T isn't allowing you to talk about your feelings regarding his retirement, right? I really think that you need to find a T who will validate your feelings and allow you to be honest with them.

IndestructibleGirl · Apr 27, 2014 at 06:53 PM

Are you still staying in touch with this therapist after though?

MASIMO · Apr 27, 2014 at 07:29 PM

He doesn't address my feelings. I voice them and he says what do you want me to say.
He doesn't seem to know how to deal with me. Yes We have discussed contact after retirement. I'm supposed to transition to a new T at some point. Think he is retiring in September but I worry It's going to happen sooner as he has already purchased a ticket to India.

HazelGirl · Apr 27, 2014 at 07:34 PM

I am sorry. He is handling this very badly. "What do you want me to say?" is a TERRIBLE way to handle your emotions. Can you get a new T sooner than waiting for his referrals? It sounds like that may be what you need ASAP, before he leaves.

CantExplain · Apr 27, 2014 at 08:23 PM

It's a grieving process. The grief doesn't "go away", you just get used to it.

Leah123 · Apr 27, 2014 at 10:11 PM

I think if you can come up with an answer to his unhelpful question, that will be helpful.
What could he say to help you- would it be to honor your feelings and share your sadness? Would it be to accept that you felt angry and help you process it? Would it be to offer to see you more until he retired? Or would it be something totally different?

I know his question seems like "Jeeze, what more do you want of me" and we read it as if he's thrown his hands up in the air with exasperation, but you know...

Sometimes, when people ask me questions with attitude, and I answer them honestly, in a heartfelt way without attitude, it gets me a long way.

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HazelGirl Elder Member Since Jan 2014 Location: USA Posts: 5,248 10 91 hugs given	Apr 27, 2014 at 06:46 PM #2 If I remember correctly, your T isn't allowing you to talk about your feelings regarding his retirement, right? I really think that you need to find a T who will validate your feelings and allow you to be honest with them. __________________ HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg
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IndestructibleGirl Grand Poohbah Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 1,654 10 804 hugs given	Apr 27, 2014 at 06:53 PM #3 Are you still staying in touch with this therapist after though? __________________ Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I I got a war in my mind ~ Lana Del Rey How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone ~ Coco Chanel One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman ~ Simone de Beauvoir
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HazelGirl Elder Member Since Jan 2014 Location: USA Posts: 5,248 10 91 hugs given	Apr 27, 2014 at 07:34 PM #5 I am sorry. He is handling this very badly. "What do you want me to say?" is a TERRIBLE way to handle your emotions. Can you get a new T sooner than waiting for his referrals? It sounds like that may be what you need ASAP, before he leaves. __________________ HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg
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CantExplain Big Poppa Member Since Oct 2011 Location: New Zealand Posts: 19,616 (SuperPoster!) 12 19.7k hugs given	Apr 27, 2014 at 08:23 PM #6 It's a grieving process. The grief doesn't "go away", you just get used to it. __________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
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