[unlockingsanity]

If you're going through a difficult time, have you had your therapist keep closer tabs on you? Currently, I'm having to be in touch several times a week in between sessions.

I know that T cares, but at the same time it's annoying.

Has anyone also shared this experience?

[Perna]

I do not know the situation. I cannot imagine my T wanting additional contact with me between sessions, just to be "in touch". I do wonder though, if she is keeping n contact with you or you are being required to keep in contact with her? Those are two different things.

[RTerroni]

I try but she tells me that she doesn't really keep tabs (i.e. checking e-mail) that much.

[nottrustin]

T not so much but former PCP did. we were friend's on facebook she told me she also liked it for being able to keep tabs on patients (which she told them so they were aware and could unfriend if they wanted to)

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Perna

I do not know the situation. I cannot imagine my T wanting additional contact with me between sessions, just to be "in touch". I do wonder though, if she is keeping n contact with you or you are being required to keep in contact with her? Those are two different things.

I'm not sure how they are really different? I think it's both? Sometimes, I've initiated the contact (at T's insistence) and other times my T has initiated it. I had to agree to contact a certain amount of times via email and then that got added on to as the week went on.

It's in regards to safety, if that makes it more understandable.

[stopdog]

No. I would never let the therapist keep tabs on me. There was one time when the woman asked if it would help if she called me every day. I said no. It freaked me out so much I cancelled for about three weeks.

[Perna]

Who initiates would make a difference to me. I would not be interested in T's insistence if it was annoying to me, I'd insist T contact me if T was interested :-) You want to know if I'm all right? You have to ask me, I'm not necessarily going to tell you (unless I care about you and am interested in working with you as a team and we have both agreed on the protocol, i.e., leaving a message at 9:00 every evening, something like that).

The "I had to agree to contact a certain amount of times. . ." I'd do something with that. I do not see how that keeps one "safe". I'd work on my self-esteem so I knew I was the one keeping myself safe, nothing T can do if I decide I do not want to and wanting an "early warning" system so T can break the contract (how I would perceive it) would stick in my craw.

It is not unusual when I am going through a crisis for my T to ask me to come in more frequently or touch base with him. Same with my pdoc. On occasion they will contact me on their own, but usually it is at their request and I do the contacting or making of appointments.

[sailorboy]

No.

I'm not bitter either.

::cries::

[SheHulk07]

My therapist himself hasn't, but I go through a community mental health center, so he's had the crisis outreach therapist call me over the weekend and asks my group T to update him after every group.

And my pcp doctor has been keeping tabs on me, too, lately.

I think mine would have tried to keep close tabs on me in the past if I was going through something major, but as of recently, probably not. Any additional contact apparently just gives me the wrong idea.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Mine has never forced it but is available in this way if I need her. She has admitted to worrying a lot but said hovering and her checking up on me creates codependency.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

Mine has never forced it but is available in this way if I need her. She has admitted to worrying a lot but said hovering and her checking up on me creates codependency.

It's very interesting how different therapists see the same situation very differently. My T welcomes communication between session (within reason and there are boundaries) and sees it as a part of growing beyond the need for therapy and the therapist vs. viewing it as codependency.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by unlockingsanity

It's very interesting how different therapists see the same situation very differently. My T welcomes communication between session (within reason and there are boundaries) and sees it as a part of growing beyond the need for therapy and the therapist vs. viewing it as codependency.

So does mine but she wants me to realize when I need help and be the one to reach out, since I personally struggle with asking for what I need. I talk to her all the time between sessions but 95% of the time I initiate it. What she means is codependency could bloom from her reaching out to me when I'm not asking her. I appreciate it because it would be harmful to me personally; but I know what works for one person may not work for others.
I do agree it is interesting to learn how other therapists conduct their practice.

[growlycat]

Yes, my main T early on would offer to check in during the week if I was in crisis.

CBT T , in the here and now, sometimes asks me to leave a voice mail to let him know if I have accomplished certain goals during the week.

Some people would find this infantilizing but I find it supportive and helpful.

[feralkittymom]

During a short time when I was in crisis, my T increased sessions. He never requested that I contact him at specific times--and he would not initiate contact--but he would make it clear that part of my responsibility for keeping myself safe was to reach out to him. Even though I was loathe to do so, confronting that was my challenge. His part of the bargain was to be there on the phone at 3AM if necessary. If I were not willing to do so, and had acted unsafely, his only recourse would have been to recommend inpatient care. So it was a combination of his commitment and my responsibility, not a keeping tabs feeling at all.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

Not this round of therapy, but my previous T and pdoc had made plans for me to go inpatient on a Monday. Starting Friday, they alternated calling every 2 hrs. Said if I didn't answer phone, they'd call police and have me involuntarily committed at one of NJ's finest (not).

I didn't feel cared for, much as I tried to tell myself that that's what they meant. I felt manipulated and like they were just afraid of a lawsuit from some family member pretending to love me if I offed myself. Very glad I didn't tho .

[RTerroni]

I would love to have a Therapist who is available between sessions but I only have a limited amount of options when it comes to picking a Therapist so I just have to go with what I can get.

[growlithing]

Yes she will text me or email me. We communicate a little nearly every day. If I don't say something, she will. She's a worrier.

I don't think my T would ever contact me between sessions for any reason other than if he had to reschedule (which has happened once in the two years I've seen him). I have a very strong feeling that he thinks I have been contacting him too much, so I no longer consider him to be somebody I can reach out to when I am in pain, unless there should be a genuine crisis where I did not feel safe. I'm sure that's the healthiest thing for me, even though it doesn't feel like it.

However, I would really not like to feel that T kept tabs on me. My H does that, not in terms of my moods or feelings but in other ways, and I resent that quite a lot. I hated it when I felt that my parents wanted to know where I was at all times, when I was growing up, so I routinely lied to them about it.

[junkDNA]

my T texts me and asks how i am doing or feeling if i am having a hard time. he also calls me at night to help me take my meds because i hear voices that dont want me to take meds, so he talks me into it and distracts me from them

[Jordy]

My T has never really checked on me, but the coupke session we did work on CSA she asked me to text her that I made it safely to my horses as this was an 1-hour drive and the only place I wanted to be.

I'm sure if I needed more she would be there, actually at one point when she found out I didn't clock all my hours at work she offered to text me every night to make me do it... I hated the idea but that alone was effective for me to do it...

[clairelisbeth]

If I'm having a really difficult time, my T and pdoc do check in with me more, or they'll ask me to check in. My T will also ask me to check in after meals if I'm struggling with the eating disorder until I'm back on track. If my pdoc has changed my meds, she'll sometimes ask me to check in to let her know if I'm sleeping, how my mood is, if I'm experiencing any side effects..,.

During a particularly bad time a couple of years ago (that resulted in me going IP eventually), my pdoc told me to call her anytime, even in the middle of the night, if things were getting really bad. I would never call her in the middle of the night and wake her, but that meant a lot.

I always appreciate the extra support and check ins when I'm struggling (even though the ED doesn't always like it! )

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sounds nice that a T would care that much about you to check-in on you. I think it would be a very rare therapist indeed.

[lindamine]

Every therapist operates differently. What's important is that you are working with someone whom you feel comfortable with and not like you are being bossed around uselessly by. For me, I have had different times of my therapy where I would keep in touch with him. He is my psychiatrist and therapist., Sometimes during an emotionally tough session he would follow up with a phone call or an email. I thought it was rather nice and it made me feel good--and better cared for. But we are all different and you have to go with your comfort level. You definitely should talk this out with your T. Sounds like you need some more clarity on this from him/her.
Hope it works out to your liking!